Honestly and Truly (Sequel to The Coffee Girl)
by Always-The-Dreamer-Girl
Summary: So, for those of you who haven't read 'The Coffee Girl', this isn't for you. If you have read The Coffee Girl: Hi, Ellie again. I'm glad you're back, and I hope you'll like this story as much as the last. I claim only the scenarios and non-canon characters as my own
1. Avengers Reassemble

There was a booming knock on my door and I frowned. It was twelve at night, a very peculiar time to come calling. I pulled on my clawed gloves and took out my Taser before stalking to the door, barefoot. I could see silhouettes through the frosted glass next to the doorframe and tilted my head. The shape at the front of the group was tall, broad, had long, straight hair and appeared to be wearing a cape… "Thor?!" I called out hesitantly. It had been a year since Shield was destroyed and four since the Avengers were disbanded. When that happened, I returned to my homeland and I had seen none of my agent or superhero friends since.  
"Ellie, please open the door," Thor replied in his deep, rich voice. I squealed in excitement and tossed my weapons onto the hall table, grabbing the keys and unlocking the doors.

I wrenched the door open and jumped. Thor caught me effortlessly, obviously expecting my reaction. "Oh my gosh, I've missed you sooo much!" I exclaimed, squeezing him about his neck and shoulders tightly. Thor carried me inside and stood at the doors, propping them open for his companions.  
"Where's my hug?" I pushed away from Thor so he dropped me and faced the other person awaiting me.

"Clint!" I squealed, springing forward into his open arms. "It's great to see you!" Clint kissed the top of my head quickly and let me go. I stepped back to look at the others. Sif, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg all stood squished together in my narrow entryway. I tilted my head again curiously and thinned my lips at their serious demeanours. "Hmm. I am not so naïve to think you came all the way to Oz for a mere social call." I looked back at the two ex-Avengers and crossed my arms, lifting a brow inquisitively.

"We have a problem," Thor told me gently. "Sif and the Warriors Three came to me three nights prior to now."  
"So it's an Asgardian problem," I assumed, looking at the aliens.  
"We came to enlist the help of our Prince," Sif told me. She was clearly displeased to see me again. I can't say I was thrilled to have her in my home, either. "There is a false King seated on the throne of Asgard."  
"How intriguing," I hummed, smirking. I looked back at Thor. "And you are here for what reason?"

"You are the last of my Midgardian friends that I needed to find. I am here to reassemble the Avengers."  
"I am not an Avenger," I responded lowly.  
"But you are our friend and ally, Little Warrior. I would not wish to embark upon this quest without you at my side." I smiled shyly, looking down.  
"You certainly know how to charm a girl," I told him warmly. "Make yourselves comfortable," I told the group, leading them into the living area. "I'll pack a few things, and then I'll be ready when you are."

"Ellie." I gasped at the distantly familiar voice and turned around. I had been taken to a large estate in Nebraska. There were fields stretched from the grey stone mansion as far as the eye could see without a neighbouring building in sight, apart from the garage.  
"Captain!" I squealed, throwing my arms around Steve's neck enthusiastically. Steve hugged me cautiously, obviously worried about damaging me or touching me somewhere he shouldn't. I understood his concern, given the fact that I was quite small, so there wasn't much for him to hang on to.

"It's wonderful to see you!" I laughed, pulling back so Steve let me go. Steve smiled at me sweetly.  
"It's wonderful to see you, too, Ellie," he said softly. Arms wrapped around me from behind and I giggled, refusing to look away from Steve as he rolled his eyes.  
"Hello, Sweetness," Tony purred.  
"Hey, Stark. This place is one of yours, isn't it?"  
"Why won't you look at me?" Tony complained, ignoring my query.  
"Because if I turn my head, you'll probably kiss me," I responded, giggling at his displeasure. Tony sighed dramatically.

"Fine! No kissing," he relented, letting me go. I turned to face him and put my hand up to catch his face when he tried to catch me off guard. I smirked and Tony pouted, looking at me through my fingers. "Am I that predictable?" he wondered drearily.  
"Apparently," I responded, amused. Tony grinned and straightened, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
"Yes, this is one of my properties, to answer your question," he told me.  
"It's lovely; show me around," I commanded, threading my arm through his.  
"My pleasure," Tony agreed, leading me away.  
"We must catch up later, Steve," I called back. Steve nodded, wandering off.

"And this will be your room while you're staying here," Tony told me, opening a door for me. I had seen the whole house, including where we were keeping a few of the proven Shield Agents, Eric and Phillips among them. I was so excited to find out about their engagement; I had always suspected that they would make a wonderful couple. "Originally, I was going to put you next door to me, but Natasha insisted that I put you next to her, so you've got the connecting doors."  
"Remind me to thank her for the rescue," I said, walking into the room. Tony huffed, putting a hand over his chest.  
"I'm wounded!" he told me, and I grinned. The door in the side of my room opened and Natasha came through, smiling at me calmly.  
"So, you're finally here," she greeted, walking up to me and putting her hands on my arms before kissing my cheek. I responded in kind and embraced her.

"It's great to see you again. What's your name now?" I wondered. Natasha smiled understandingly.  
"My name is still Natasha Romanoff. It is anglicised from Natalia Romanova, but you get the idea," Natasha shrugged.  
"Okay, then. So where's Bruce? He's the last person I need to see."  
"I'll show you the labs," Tony told me. I laughed quietly as Tony led me out.  
"Trust you to have this beautiful old mansion and add labs," I remarked. Tony grinned at me.  
"Well, I didn't really need the stables, and it seemed a shame to waste the space," he told me.

In the lab, Bruce was typing furiously on a computer, oblivious to the world. I walked up behind him without a word, and slipped my arms around his shoulders. Bruce jumped, turning his bespectacled eyes on me in surprise before registering my appearance and smiling. "Ellie! You came!"  
"I do not understand your shock. Why would I not?" I wondered as he turned the desk chair to hug me back.  
"Well, after Shield, you sort of… dropped off the radar." I blinked, taken-aback.  
"You mean you and Stark haven't been keeping track of me? Does that mean I've been waving at satellites for nothing?" I inquired, looking between the two scientists.  
"No, no. We saw you waving. You just moved across the sea and stopped talking to us."

"I didn't mean to fall out of contact with you," I protested. "Besides; you always could have flown over for a visit," I retorted.  
"Well, we all know that you like your space, Kid."  
"But never mind that, she's back now. We're all back," Bruce reminded us both, smiling at me sweetly. "I'm glad you decided to join us again. It wouldn't be the same without you, Ellie." I grinned and threw my arms around Bruce, cuddling into his shoulder.  
"That's so sweet of you to say!" I squeaked, touched by the comment. I was suddenly overtaken by a yawn and blinked sleepily. The boys chuckled.

"Jetlag," Tony surmised. "Come on, Kid. Let's get you back to your room and you can take a little nap, okay?" I nodded, accepting Tony's proffered arm and letting him escort me back to my room. I fell onto the bed and Tony tossed a throw rug over me before leaving, closing the door behind himself. I didn't take too long, and I emerged maybe an hour later, blinking tiredly and running my fingers through my hair when I bumped into someone. A moment later, I had been knocked back to the floor and found myself looking up at a dark figure with a metal arm.

Reacting automatically, I swept his legs out from under him, making him crash into the wall, and rolled on top of him, seeking to restrain his metal limb to protect myself. The man fought back, shoving me away and causing some serious bruising to my ribcage. I struggled to breathe, winded, and the man stood over me, glaring with cold, murky-green eyes. I pulled my Taser from my ever-present belt and prepared to fire when a loud shout made me pause. "Stop!"  
"Steve?" I wondered, looking to the Captain as he slowed at the top of the stairs, panting from apparently having raced there from wherever he was.  
"This… _girl_ … attacked me," the stranger growled, glaring down at me.  
"What the cuss? Excuse me, Crazy Paranoia Guy, what were you doing standing in the middle of the hallway! I walked into you; I didn't attack you! Who the cuss are you, anyway?!" I demanded angrily, standing up and keeping my Taser ready.

Steve sighed heavily. "Bucky, this is the girl I told you about, Ellie. Ellie, this is Bucky."  
"Bucky?" I echoed, lowering my Taser and examining the stranger closely. "Bucky Barnes?" The stranger nodded slowly, eyeing me off just as curious and wary as I was. More footsteps sounded, and a dark-skinned man came up the stairs behind Steve.  
"Damn, Cap! What is it this time?" the new stranger panted. I scrutinised this newcomer intently as Steve glanced at him.  
"Apparently Ellie bumped into Bucky, and they sorta got off on the wrong foot."  
"Ah, so this is the famous Ellie Carter," the new stranger said, approaching me with a friendly smile. "Sam Wilson," he introduced himself, holding out his hand. I shook it firmly with a polite smile. "I'm the Falcon; don't know if you've heard about…"

"Of course I have; I was a Shield agent," I pointed out. "I heard all about it." Sam grinned at me, tilting his head before glancing at Steve.  
"You know; from what I've heard from Cap and the others, I thought you'd be some cute tweeny kid who wears nothing but pink. But I have to say; you are absolutely gorgeous," Sam told me with a flirtatious wink. I giggled.  
"Ease up, Mate. These boys are... rather protective. You keep that up and I won't be able to guarantee that you won't be Hulk-Smashed, hammered, or shot with arrows and repulsors. But you worked with Steve and Tasha, so you probably won't be chained to the ceiling upside down or defenestrated, at least." Sam blinked rapidly.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. Defenestrated?"  
"Thrown out of a window," I clarified, smiling. "Steve could totally do that." Sam laughed a little, looking at Steve again.  
"Well, now I feel emasculated," he stated, scratching the back of his neck and looking me over again. I shrugged.  
"Sorry. I saw the footage of you with those wings, and you are pretty cool, though." I heard movement behind me and spun on my heel, lifting my Taser and pointing it at Bucky nervously, watching him warily. He paused, looking into my eyes, and slowly lifted his hands, placating.

"Ellie, it's okay," Steve soothed, putting a hand on my upraised arm. "He didn't know; he won't hurt you, okay? He promises; right, Buck?" Bucky nodded silently, still staring at me. Now that he wasn't glaring at me like he wanted to drain my lifeblood, I could see a deep-seated uncertainty clouding his beautiful eyes. I tilted my head and holstered the Taser. Finally, I smiled warmly at Bucky and held out my hand.  
"Ellie Jean Carter; pleased to meet you, Mr Barnes." Bucky looked at my offered hand, returned his gaze to my face and walked away without another word, pushing past Steve to go down the stairs.

I watched him go with a quirked eyebrow and Steve turned to me apologetically. "He's more than a little damaged, isn't he?" I asked plainly. Steve nodded reluctantly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, who here isn't?" I smiled, stepping forward to cup Steve's arm. "I can deal with your war buddy, Steve," I informed the Captain gently. "But I don't think he's the only one with problems." Steve blushed at my whisper, meeting my eyes shyly. I pulled on his arm and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I'm always around if you need me," I told him, patting his arm and trotting down the stairs. With the Asgardians, reassembling the Avengers, the little Shield collective, and now Bucky, things were going to be eventful, of that I had no doubt. And I was eager to see where these events would take us all…


	2. Good Talk

I flicked the kettle on in the kitchen and dining area and hefted myself up to sit on the counter and wait for the water to boil so I could make myself some tea. I had been in a strategy meeting with the Asgardians and the other Avengers. But I had got so bored and frustrated with them at the same time that I decided that it would be better for me to leave and let them come up with some sort of plan. They would tell me later whatever it was that they wanted me to do. I sighed, looking out of a window across the lush fields outside when I heard a floorboard creak and turned to face the door. Bucky was standing there, frozen in place and staring at me like he was prepared to either run away or slaughter me. I frowned. "Don't stare at me like that; you're creeping me out," I complained as the kettle switched off and I poured the water. "Would you like some tea, Bucky?" I offered without looking up at him as I put a sugar cube in my cup and stirred it around to make it dissolve faster.

"Yes, please." I almost jumped out of my skin at the quiet reply. I hadn't really expected him to respond to me. I blinked at Bucky pensively and went about setting up another cup for him. When I looked up again, I jumped back, bumping my head on the cupboards. Bucky had traversed the room and was now sitting on a stool on the other side of the counter just in front of me. I sighed, rubbing my head.  
"You're going to shoot my nerves to Hell if you keep doing this," I told him, pouring the water into his cup. "You are not a phantom; it's okay if you make some noise! You know; drag the stool out; clear your throat, scuff your toes, just something to let me know that I'm not dealing with a bloody poltergeist! Please!" Bucky's expression didn't change from the serious, cool expression he'd worn since after he'd tried to kill me, but he murmured,  
"I'll keep that in mind."

"You can speak above a whisper, too," I pointed out. "Sugar?" Bucky nodded.  
"One, please." I sighed at his still just above a whisper tone and put a sugar cube in his cup, stirring.  
"Milk?" Bucky nodded again and I poured milk into both out cups, stirring once again before sliding the cup towards him. "Here you go." Bucky carefully cradled the cup in his hands and pulled it closer to himself without looking at me again. I pursed my lips, eying the man off closely. "Am I that hideous?" I wondered darkly. Bucky blinked, staring up at me sharply. I quirked an eyebrow at him and he shook his head.

"No."  
"'No' what?"  
"No, Ma'am?"  
"My name is not Ma'am." Bucky thinned his lips and looked down into his cup again, frowning. I shook my head. "My name is Ellie, Bucky. Ellie Jean Carter. I don't mind if you want to call me Carter, but I have a name. Use it, please."  
"Why is it important?"  
"Do you prefer being called Bucky, or The Winter Soldier?" I asked. Bucky glared at me and I smiled warmly. "See my point? A label is… impersonal. Lifeless. I am a person. I have a life. And I have a name; as you have." Bucky scrutinised me and I watched him, sipping my tea.

"My name is James Buchanan Barnes," Bucky said softly, more to himself than to me. He looked down at his metal arm and frowned, clenching his fist. I could see all sorts of raw, conflicting emotions boiling in his eyes and stretched out my hand to place it over his fist. Bucky flinched and blinked at me, unsure.  
"You're a person, Bucky," I told him earnestly. "Not a soldier; not a weapon. A person."  
"Am I?" he demanded, growling at me. "Am I a person? I can't even remember anymore!" He tore his arm from my grasp and punched the counter, cracking it.  
"Bucky!" I shouted over him, leaning over the counter and cupping his face in my hands, capturing his attention. "Of course you are a person," I told him firmly. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb. "Flesh and bone, like the rest of us. You have a cybernetic arm, sure. But it's a limb, Bucky. Only a limb. Not you." I pushed his long hair out of his face, combing through it with my fingers. He closed his eyes and held still under my touch, trembling slightly with a faint frown still on his face.

"Breathe, Bucky," I hummed. He inhaled deeply through his nose, opening his eyes and looking at me again. I ran my hand down his arm and took his hand, pressing it to my shoulder. "Feel that?" I asked, lifting my arm so the metal cable pressed up under my skin. Bucky nodded, breathing out through parted lips and staring at my arm. "I have those all through my body. To make me stronger; faster. To make me a more efficient weapon." Bucky met my eyes again, shocked. "Am _I_ a person, Bucky?" I asked him. Bucky nodded, swallowing. I smiled at him gently and clapped him on the shoulder, friendly. "Then so are you. Drink your tea." I picked up my cup and sipped again, smiling as Bucky did the same.

When Steve found us later, I was sitting on the couch with Bucky, chatting with him about his memories. I was laughing about something he had told me about Steve and Bucky was smiling faintly, watching me as I rocked back and forth on the couch. "What's going on?" Steve asked. I glanced up at him and laughed harder, falling over sideways so my forehead rested on Bucky's knee. He patted me gently on the back and looked up at Steve.  
"I was just telling Ellie about that time you and I went on camp with that obstacle course."  
"Aw, Buck! Did you have to tell her about that?" Steve complained. Bucky shrugged.  
"She wanted to hear about my memories; I remember you hanging upside down off a rope ladder with your trousers split up the center."  
"Stop! Stop! Can't breathe!" I squeaked, shoving Bucky with my weakened arms as I struggled to stop laughing. Bucky chuckled at me as I tried to calm down and suck some air into my lungs.

Steve sat next to me as I started to breathe again in between fits of giggles. "So, you two have been… talking?" Steve wondered quietly. I nodded.  
"Ah huh," I confirmed, beaming. Steve glanced at Bucky, smiling cautiously.  
"You two are getting along then?" I looked over at Bucky curiously and he nodded, staring back at us. Steve gave a relieved sigh before looking at me seriously. "Ellie, might I have a word?" I nodded.  
"Sure. I'll be back; don't drink my tea," I told Bucky as I stood and walked out. "Is everything okay?" I asked Steve, crossing my arms and tilting my head curiously. Steve nodded.  
"Yeah, yeah, just… It's Bucky."

"What about him?"  
"How does he seem to you? I mean... is he… okay, do you think?" I smiled at Steve's concern for his friend. He was such a sweet man.  
"He is… damaged… uncertain… untrusting… But he will heal."  
"With you around, I'm sure he will," Steve agreed. I looked down, smiling shyly.  
"You flatter me," I mumbled, shifting awkwardly as pleasant tingles traveled up my spine.  
"No," Steve told me firmly, reclaiming my attention and staring into my eyes. "I know you, Ellie. Bucky is lucky to have you with him now, when his whole world has changed… I know I was." I had no idea how to respond to such extreme sweetness, but the door opened and Bucky peeked through.  
"Ellie; your tea is getting cold," Bucky murmured, staring at me and Steve intensely.  
"Right; thanks. Good talk, Steve," I said, clapping him on the shoulder and following Bucky back inside.  
"Yeah," Steve sighed behind me. "Good talk."


	3. My Boys

I was still adjusting to the time difference between America and Australia, so when everyone was in bed and I was struggling to sleep, I decided to go for a walk, see if I could wear myself down. I slipped on a pair of rubber-soled boots, wrapped my dressing gown around myself, and headed out quietly, trying not to disturb anyone else. I passed Bucky watching television in the lounge room and waved at him when he glanced my way. He inclined his head casually and turned his focus back to whatever programme he was watching. I left the mansion and breathed in the cool night air, sighing contentedly and looking out across the open horizon. Light caught my attention, and I looked over to the converted stables, frowning at the light in the windows. Curious, I made my way over and opened the door.

Inside, Tony was perched precariously on a stool with an almost empty liquor bottle clutched in one hand as he half-sprawled across one of his work desks. As I watched, he sighed, tilted his head, and drained the remainder of the alcohol before tossing the bottle away. It shattered against a wall and I stepped forward carefully, watching Tony as he pushed back his hair with one hand, cushioning his head on the opposite arm on the desk. "Tony," I called hesitantly. Tony looked at me blearily from under his hand.  
"Hey, El. What's going on?" I shrugged.  
"I'm still on Oz time. How full was that bottle when you started?" I asked, pulling another stool over to sit in front of Tony, studying him closely.

"Not sure," he replied evasively. I frowned reprovingly.  
"Tony." He held up his hand in front of my face, slowly shaking his head.  
"Don't! Just… save it for someone who cares, El." I shook my head, confused.  
"Tony, what are you doing? I don't understand…"  
"No, of course you don't. How could you understand; everybody just _loooves_ you, Ellie. You're such a beautiful little girl, and so easy to get along with; nobody ever gets upset with you, do they? You're just perfect; you could have any man you wanted. And they'd love _you_! Who cares that you don't have money?!" Tony turned his face away, tucking it into his arm, groaning. "If I had no money; no-one would want me," he muttered bitterly. I blinked, shocked.

"What in the Nine Realms are you talking about?!" I gasped. "You're a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist! You're freaking Iron Man!"  
"But if I wasn't!" Tony snapped, glaring up at me. "If I was still me; but without the money and the inventions… the suits… If I was just plain old Anthony Stark, nobody would care about me, Ellie. Not like you. You just served coffee, and people missed you! No-one would miss me, if I wasn't Iron Man." I shook my head at him, thoroughly baffled.  
"Okay, I think something's happened here. What's brought on all this, then, Mate?" I asked gently. Tony's eyes narrowed with pain and he buried his face again. He mumbled something indistinguishable and I leaned over him. "Sorry, sweetie. Didn't catch that."

"I SAID, PEPPER'S GETTING MARRIED!" Tony roared, voice cracking audibly on the last word. Tears seeped from his bloodshot chocolate eyes, usually full of humour and warmth, and I pouted sympathetically as he breathed raggedly, trying not to sob as he buried his face in his arm yet again. "She's getting married to some… some sensible business type…" I sighed, put an arm over Tony's back and rested my head against his shoulder, rubbing his back comfortingly.  
"I'd care," I murmured gently. "If you weren't famous. You're kind of an ass, sure. But you're a really charming, charismatic ass, with a good heart. I like that. I've got a few friends like that, and they aren't famous or superheroes. It didn't work out with Pepper, but you know what? I never really liked Pepper anyway. She was so snooty and set on herself. And not in the cute, cocky way you are, but a really judging way. Not nice. You've got so much going for you, Tony! Don't let one stuck-up Barbie-doll break you down, sweetie. Please don't; you'll break my heart, carrying on like this! Okay?"

Tony sniffed, shaking his head. "I gave up everything for her! When she left… I always thought she'd come back…" I clicked my tongue sadly, sitting up.  
"Come here," I murmured, taking hold of his shoulders and helping him to sit up before folding my arms around him. Tony tucked his face into my shoulder and cried, shaking slightly and wrapping his arms around me, bunching my robe in his fists and squeezing me tightly. I hushed him, combing through his disheveled hair with my fingers and rubbing his back, kissing him lightly on the temple. And so we sat until he stopped shaking and he started to breathe normally.  
"I feel sick," he moaned, swallowing loudly.

"I am unsurprised," I responded softly. "Come on; let's get you to bed, Tony." I helped Tony stagger to the mansion, pausing once to support his head and rub his back when he threw up in the garden. From there, I helped him to his room and told him to get ready for bed while I went to find a bucket in case he was still sick.  
"Ellie?"  
"Yeah, Bucky?" I replied as I rummaged through the cupboards next to the kitchen.  
"What are you doing?" he asked indifferently. The fact that he was asking at all pleased me, though.  
"I'm taking care of Tony," I told him, finding a bucket and pulling it out of the cupboard.

"Why?"  
"He's a little upset at the moment, so he got drunk and now he's sick."  
"Yes, I noticed that. I meant, why is it up to you to take care of him?" I blinked at Bucky, surprised by the query. The last time anyone questioned the reason why I was helping, it was Loki…  
"Well…Because he's one of my boys," I explained. Bucky tilted his head almost imperceptibly as I got a big glass out of the kitchen and filled it with water.  
"One of 'your boys'? What does that mean?"

"Tony, Clint, Bruce, Thor… Steve. They're all my boys. I have more; boys I grew up with, some I went to school with, that sort of thing. They're my friends, and they're boys. I don't know if you've noticed this, or if you're still like the rest of them, but men have a certain… weakness; a certain delicacy that women don't share. They need a special kind of caring, or they fall apart. Like Tony has. That's why I look out for all of them. They're only men. That's why they keep bringing me back. Natasha doesn't have the gentle spirit required to manage them; she has an almost masculine approach to such matters. Of course, the boys don't understand themselves; they just know that they like me. It takes a woman's understanding and perception to put these complicated, fragile emotions into words. That's why I'm looking after Tony. That's why I'll always come when they call. That's what makes them my boys."

Bucky looked me over silently and I waited for him to process what I'd said. "Am I one of 'your boys'?" he finally inquired. I smiled warmly and shook my head.  
"No; but I only met you today. I may yet end up claiming you like the others. We'll see what happens. Now, I've got to get back to Tony. Go to sleep, Bucky Barnes," I told him sternly, walking past him. I returned to Tony's room and put the bucket next to the head of the bed. Tony was curled up on top of the blankets wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a sock with his arms wrapped around his abdomen and his knees drawn up protectively. "Tony, sip some water," I ordered. Tony groaned, ducking his head to his chest.

"I don't want any water."  
"I don't care. You need to help flush out your system. Drink." I sat beside him on the bed and held out the glass. Tony glowered up at me and I sighed, reaching out to comb through his hair again. "Come on, Tony. You know I'm only doing this because I care about you. Please, just oblige me." Tony huffed and sat up reluctantly, taking the glass and gulping some of the water before I stopped him. "No, no, no! Not like that!" I took the glass away and shook my head. "You really don't know how to take care of yourself, do you?" I asked rhetorically. " _Sip_ it, Tony! If you drink it too quickly, your body will think it's more alcohol, and you'll throw up again." Tony grunted and curled up on the bed again. I placed the glass on the bedside table and stood up to leave.

"Ellie." I looked back at Tony, tilting my head.  
"Yes?" Tony looked up at me tiredly.  
"Aren't you supposed to watch drunk people to make sure they don't choke on their own vomit or die of hypothermia?"  
"I thought JARVIS could manage that. Can't you, JARVIS?"  
"Of course, Miss Carter," JARVIS confirmed. Tony sighed, curling in on himself again.  
"Fine. Go, then," he grumbled. I sighed tiredly and smiled at Tony. He was such a man-child. But it was really cute. I sat on the edge of the bed and started combing Tony's hair again.  
"I'll stay until you fall asleep. Okay?" Tony nodded, giving me a weak smile before closing his eyes and relaxing.


	4. JARVIS and Ellie

The next morning I woke later than the others and dressed before going to the kitchen. Tony, Bruce and Steve were sitting at the little coffee table by the window, Natasha was curled up in a puffy armchair talking to Clint who had a pile of cushions on the floor, and Bucky and Sam were at opposite ends of the couch. There was no sign of any Asgardians. "Where're Thor and the others?" I asked, walking in.  
"They've gone to Asgard to speak with the secret rebellion," Natasha told me as I wandered over to the coffee table.  
"Just to clarify; are you guys Avengers, or Jedi?" I inquired playfully. There were smiles and quiet laughs around the room, and Bucky scowled in confusion. "JARVIS, would you please be a dear and introduce Bucky to Star Wars for me?"

"Certainly, Miss Carter," JARVIS agreed, turning the television on and loading up the films. I leaned against the table next to Tony and looked him over. He looked rather haggard with raw, shadowed eyes and scruffy hair.  
"Feeling better?" I asked. Tony nodded slowly.  
"Yeah. Sure." He didn't sound convincing. He took hold of his coffee cup and lifted it before I plucked it from his grasp and sipped the dark liquid. It was coffee; but there was the unmistakable burn of some sort of sweet liqueur. I crinkled my nose, took the cup to the sink and spat, pouring the contents of the cup down the drain.

"Tony, how could you?" I complained, pouting. "After everything that happened last night…"  
"What happened last night?" Clint asked.  
"Never you mind," I snapped. I was pissed at Tony, but he was still one of my boys and I would keep his secrets. I turned my glare back on Tony and growled. "Stop it!" Tony sighed, eying me off wearily, propping his head up on his hand.  
"I'm a grown man, Ellie. I can see to myself. I don't need you to make my choices for me. Go watch TV with Bucky," he drawled dismissively. I stared at him as I slowly stalked forward and slapped him across the face sharply. Turning on my heel, I swept from the room without acknowledging anyone; slamming the door behind myself.

I sighed, deflated, and leaned against the banister of the stairs that led up to the bedrooms. "JARVIS, you there?"  
"Always, Miss Carter," came the gentle reply.  
"May I ask you something?"  
"Of course."  
"Do you feel? Happiness, sadness, love; can you feel?" There was a pause before the AI replied.  
"I do not know if I have the same sort of feeling as biological creatures, Miss; but yes. I do believe that I have the capability to process emotion, in my own way."

I was satisfied with that answer and smiled slightly before sighing again. "What do you think about Tony?"  
"Mr Stark is troubled, Miss, and he does not appear to have the ability to cope with his emotional turmoil. I worry for him."  
"As do I. My own observations lead me to agree with you most strongly," I concurred bitterly.  
"Is there something you need of me, Miss?" I nodded, unsure if JARVIS could see or not, since I couldn't see any cameras.  
"Yes. I would like you to observe Tony for me. Keep me updated on his condition. I believe that he has become self-destructive, and I would like to prevent him from doing any real damage to himself or the others, inadvertently or otherwise."

"I will, Miss… Mr Stark is fortunate to have you looking out for him." I smiled coyly, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear.  
"Thank you, JARVIS. Hopefully, he'll grow to see that…" I sighed again and left the mansion. Standing on the doorstep, I took a deep breath, looked out over the wide fields, and ran. My hair bounced behind me and my heartbeat rushed in my ears as I pushed myself, throwing myself over fences, bolting through the tall grains until I stopped and flopped onto the ground, panting and staring up through the greenery to the wide silver sky over me.

As I lay there, breathing deeply, a misty drizzle started to fall and I closed my eyes, letting the moisture form a film on my skin, collecting on my eyelashes and in my hair. After a few moments, the drizzle got harder and the drops got bigger and heavier until it was pouring down and lightning cracked overhead, thunder booming through the air into the earth, thrumming through my body. I wondered idly if Thor was nearby as the cold seeped into my bones and my fingertips and nose turned numb. The rain bit my skin, stinging, but I stayed lying on the muddy ground anyway.

About an hour later, something brushed against my arm and I lifted a hand to wipe the rain from my eyes and opened them, looking up at Bucky sitting in the mud beside me. He met my gaze, as stern-faced as ever, but his eyes were soft and I smiled slightly and let my hand drop, closing my eyes again with a sigh. "Are the others looking too?" I asked quietly.  
"No. I told them I'd find you; you needed space." I smiled again at Bucky's understanding.  
"Thanks, Bucky." We fell silent again and stayed still until I started shivering.  
"Come on," Bucky huffed, standing over me and holding out his hands. I took them and let him pull me up. Putting his right arm around my shoulders, Bucky guided me back to the mansion where the Avengers met us, frantic.

"Where have you been?" Steve demanded, cupping my arms in his hands and pulling me away from Bucky. "Look at you! You're freezing, and your all muddy! Go and have a hot shower; go."  
"Yes, Mum," I said through chattering teeth, wrapping my arms around myself and heading upstairs to the bathroom. As I passed Tony, I met his gaze and he looked down guiltily, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. I snorted and trotted up the stair, eager to get clean and warmed up. "Thanks for fetching me, Bucky," I called over my shoulder.

"Miss Carter." I jumped at the sudden voice in my bathroom, causing water to overflow from the bathtub and sighed.  
"Yes, JARVIS."  
"Forgive the intrusion, but you asked to be kept informed of Mr Stark's condition." I nodded, sitting up further in the bath.  
"Yes, what news?"  
"I have a scan from the Mark thirteen suit," JARVIS reported dutifully, and blue lights appeared from secret projectors in the room to form the scan of a human skeletal, digestive and respiratory system. I blinked.  
"Is this Tony?" I breathed, mesmerised by the holograph.

"Yes, Miss."  
"When is this from?" I demanded, reaching out to take the fingers, making the holograph move where I guided it.  
"It is a live feed, Miss. Mr Stark is out flying now." I frowned, looking at the internal organs.  
"Can you focus on something in particular?" I asked.  
"Yes, Miss."  
"Show me Tony's liver, please." The internal organs vanished to show Tony's liver inside his skeleton and I bit my lip in concern. "Does that look enlarged to you?" I asked nervously.  
"Yes, Miss. Thirty percent larger than it should be, according to the scans."  
"Is there any scarring?" There was a pause before JARVIS replied.  
"Yes, Miss. There is some mild scar tissue through the liver."  
"Early stage cirrhosis," I exhaled slowly, shaking my head as I narrowed my eyes at the scan. "Oh, Tony. Do you even know what you're doing to yourself?"


	5. Cirrhosis

I waited for everyone to go to bed. I had decided to confront Tony with this new knowledge. He was the last one up. When he came, he was holding a tumbler half full of a gold-brown liquor. As I watched, he gulped down the contents and smashed the glass against the wall. I stepped out of my doorway. "Tony…"  
"Don't!" Tony snapped, holding out his hand. "Just go to bed, Ellie." I shook my head, walking over to him.  
"Tony, listen…"  
"I don't want to listen to you! Just mind your own damn business!" That made my temper flare.

"You're my friend, Anthony! You _are_ my business." I laid my forearm across his chest and pushed him back, pinning him against the wall and pressing my free hand against his abdomen where his liver was. Tony gasped, doubling over my hand, grabbing at my arms and trying to push me away. But without his suit, I was stronger than he was. The Ides had left me with my strength. Apparently it was easier to let me keep the cables than to pay the money to have them removed. I pushed back against Tony and he whimpered, eyes watering. I stared into them calmly. "Will you listen to me now?" I inquired lowly. Tony nodded quickly, squeezing my wrist, digging his nails into my skin. It hurt, but I was on a mission.  
"Yes. Yes, I'll listen. I will, just… stop… Please. Stop." I waited for a moment so that I was sure my point was being made and then I let him go, opened his bedroom door and hauled him inside.

"JARVIS, this is an intervention. Lock the door; I don't want Tony running away from this. He can't do that anymore."  
"Yes, Miss Carter." The lock on the door clicked shut immediately. Tony glared up at what I assumed was a camera.  
"JARVIS, you're _my_ AI, not Carter's AI! You traitor!"  
"I'm sorry, Sir. But I am doing this for your benefit."  
"JARVIS, show the liver scan," I ordered. The projection appeared in the middle of the room. "Explain," I instructed as Tony scowled at the image.

"Sir, this is the scan taken from the Mark thirteen suit today."  
"Show what it would look like if it were normal beside it." A matching image appeared beside Tony's scan. The liver was clearly smaller in the second holograph than the original. "See, Tony? This is what your liver should look like," I said, taking the image of the healthy liver and placing it over the top of his real scan to show the size difference. "Your liver is thirty percent larger than it should be," I told him. Tony huffed and looked at me, crossing his arms defensively. "JARVIS says that there is some scar tissue in there, too. Now, you're supposed to be a genius, so I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about."

"You're telling me that I've got cirrhosis," Tony said, swallowing heavily. I nodded slowly, watching him closely as he reached out to take the two livers and hold them up against his abdomen. He swallowed again, swaying slightly, blinking. "I think I'm going to be sick," he huffed, clutching at his belly and rushing to his bathroom. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair tiredly.  
"Kill the holographs," I murmured.  
"Yes, Miss," JARVIS said, letting the holographs vanish as I walked over to the bathroom door to find Tony hunched over the sink, one hand clamped over his mouth and the other latched onto the edge of the basin. He moaned, shaking visibly and I stepped forward, putting a hand on his back. Tony turned into me, putting one arm around my waist and bowing his head over my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him firmly, rubbing his head comfortingly.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Tony whined, taking his hand from his mouth and putting his arm around my neck, pulling me close. "Don't let me do this, Ellie." I rested my head against his.  
"I won't," I promised softly.  
"I really am going to be sick," Tony said, letting me go and bowing over the sink again. A moment later, he retched and I put my hand on his forehead to support his head, brushing my hand over his back. I turned the faucet on, rinsing the sink out and wetting a facecloth, wiping Tony's heated skin gently. I soaked the cloth again and held it to his mouth.  
"Suck," I told him. He did as I said, drawing the moisture from the cloth.

He grunted, turning back to me again and putting both his arms over my shoulders, embracing me so I was supporting some of his weight. "I'm really glad you're here, Ellie… I missed you a lot," Tony confessed, tucking his face into my hair. I laughed softly.  
"I missed you, too, Tony. I'm sorry I wasn't around before now." Tony shook his head dismissively.  
"It's okay, El. You're here now; when it counts most." Tony sighed wearily and I smiled.  
"Come on; bedtime," I said. Tony nodded, turning back to the sink again to brush his teeth before letting me guide him to his bed. He pulled off his shirt and laid back on the bed before noticing my stare.  
"El?" I shook my head, rapt.

"I've never actually seen your chest before," I breathed. Tony's chest was covered in scars with a sunken circle in the middle of it.  
"You can touch it, if you want," he offered quietly. I sat down on the edge of the bed and placed my fingers lightly against the scarred circle in his chest before spreading them out, feeling the scars under my fingertips. "If you think this is interesting, I'm sorry you didn't see me with the arc reactor implant," Tony said with a lopsided smirk, watching me affectionately.  
"How did they patch the hole?" I wondered, returning to the circle in the center, pressing the skin gently.  
"There's a metal plate fixed to my sternum," Tony explained. "If you press a little harder, you can feel the bolts." I did as instructed, feeling six hard lumps around the edge of the circle.

"And under that?" I asked. "You know, where the wires and everything used to be?"  
"Well, my lungs have taken up some of the space, but there's really just a gap there now."  
"Does it feel strange?" Tony shrugged.  
"It took a while to get used to it after the arc reactor was removed, but now it feels normal to me." I bit my lip hesitantly and Tony tilted his head on the pillow. "What is it?"  
"I was just wondering if your breathing or your heartbeat sounded different now, after all that trauma." Tony chuckled and held his arm out to me.  
"Come here," he invited. I leant forward and he pulled me down, stroking my hair as I rested my head on his chest.

His heartbeat was slightly muffled by the metal plate, but other than that, it was completely normal. I smiled, just listening as Tony slowly stopped stroking my hair and his breathing slowed and deepened in sleep. I sat up carefully and pulled the blankets up over his chest, smoothing his hair back gently and kissing his forehead. "You're a lot of work, Tony," I murmured to the slumbering man. "You're lucky I love you. Sleep well, Mate." I got up slowly and left the room, flicking off the light as I did. From there I went straight to Bruce's door and tapped in it. I didn't hear anything inside, so I tapped a little louder and heard a groan. Once more I tapped, and this time I heard a grunt and rustling material, before footsteps padded up to the door and Bruce opened it, blinking at me sleepily and scratching his unclothed abdomen.  
"Ellie? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, placing a concerned hand on my shoulder and looking me over closely.

"It's Tony," I sighed. Bruce frowned, pinching his eyes and sweeping his hand back through his hair.  
"What about Tony?"  
"May I come in?" I asked. Bruce blinked and stepped back.  
"Sorry, yeah. Of course. Come on in." I took the invitation and walked over to sit on the end of his bed, sighing tiredly and leaning forward, folding my arms on my lap and resting my head there. The bed beside me sank, and Bruce put his hand on my back, rubbing gently. "Take your time, El. Would you, uh… would you like a drink?" I shook my head, sitting up.  
"No thanks, Bruce."  
"Okay. What can I help you with, Ellie? Why are you here?"

"I'm sorry, Bruce. I didn't want to wake you, but I need to talk to you about Tony." Bruce nodded, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning towards me attentively, blinking in that cute way of his. I wasn't sure how to start and shrugged helplessly. Luckily for me, Bruce is a genius.  
"He's sick, isn't he?" he asked knowingly. I nodded, pouting.  
"Yes, he… JARVIS, show the holographs, please," I requested. JARVIS obliged me wordlessly and Bruce took his glasses from the bedside cabinet, putting them on and squinting at the projections. He breathed deeply, eyes widening.  
"Is this Tony?" he inquired, pointing to the figure with the enlarged liver. I nodded sadly as Bruce examined the images. "Is there any scar tissue?"

"There is mild scarring through Mr Stark's liver, Dr Banner," JARVIS confirmed. Bruce grimaced, taking his glasses off and pinching his eyes again, waving at the holographs. JARVIS got rid of them instantly.  
"Ugh, Tony," Bruce groaned, shaking his head. He blinked up at me, sighing. "Does he know?" I nodded, fidgeting with my fingernails.  
"I told him this evening. I came here straight from putting him to bed."  
"How'd he take it?" Bruce asked me worriedly.  
"He felt sick and ran into the bathroom; then he hugged me and almost cried; then he threw up; then he hugged me again; then he brushed his teeth and I put him to bed and listened to his chest until he fell asleep."

I sighed, pulling my legs up and resting my chin on my knees. "He said he doesn't know what he's doing. We need to help him, Bruce. He's really got a problem." Bruce nodded, standing.  
"Right, then. Come on," he said, holding out his hand.  
"What are we doing?" I asked, taking the offered hand and letting him pull me to my feet.  
"We're going to go find all the alcohol in the house, and we're going to get rid of it."  
"Right," I acknowledged, nodding and following him out of the room. "Good plan."


	6. I Love You

The next morning, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, drinking a breakfast drink I had made myself while Steve read the paper at the coffee table with Bruce, Clint was on the couch talking with Natasha, Bucky and Sam were outside practicing his fighting skills, and the Asgardians had yet to return. When Tony stumbled into the room, Bruce and I looked up immediately. Tony winced at the sunlight shining through the window and walked over to the kitchen. "Hi, Tony," I greeted softly. He grunted, rummaging through the kitchen cupboards. I glanced at Bruce anxiously and he shook his head, sipping his coffee. Tony was becoming more and more agitated in his search, and he looked down under the sink before standing and leaning on the counter, staring at me coldly.

"Ellie," he said softly, with a slight bite in his tone. "I know that certain… _things_ happened last night, but I do not recall giving you permission to do away with my liquor." Tony wanted to appear calm, but his eyes betrayed him; as did his white-knuckled grip on the edge of the counter and the slight tremor in his arms. I leant towards him, hoping to avoid drawing the attention of the others with our conversation.  
"No; what you did say, however, was that I mustn't let you do this." I put my hand on his arm, squeezing imploringly. "Don't go back now; you already know where this will lead." Tony sighed, leaning in closer to whisper in my ear.  
"Who have you told?" he breathed.  
"Only Bruce," I replied softly.

"What are you two whispering over there?" Natasha asked, drawing everyone's attention to us.  
"Sweet nothings," I responded immediately with a mischievous smirk. Steve choked on his coffee and I giggled as the attention was once again transferred.  
"Are you protecting me?" Tony murmured.  
"I will always protect you, Tony," I responded, equally quiet. "As much as I can. But even I cannot protect you from yourself." I looked at Tony meaningfully and he broke, walking around the counter to stand before me so he could wrap me up in a rough hug, clinging to me and pushing my head into his throat, resting his cheek on top of it and swaying the both of us gently.

"Okay, something's going on here," Clint said. "We all know Ellie doesn't like hugs, and you're not her type, so what's the deal? Stark?" Tony sighed heavily into my hair as my hands pressed against his chest under my chin.  
"Pepper's getting married," Tony announced softly without letting me go. There was a chorus of sympathy and Tony tilted his head forward, burying his face further into my hair, clenching his fist in my curls against my neck.  
"You're not going to tell them the rest?" I whispered. Tony shook his head, kissing the top of mine briefly.  
"They'd only worry. It would get in the way," he breathed, pulling my hair so I tilted my head back and kissing my forehead. "And I love you too, Ellie."

I smiled as he slipped my head under his chin again. "I thought you were asleep," I mumbled. Tony huffed a laugh, rocking me again.  
"Not quite, Kid."  
"You know I don't love you romantically…"  
"Of course," Tony interrupted easily. "You've always made your assessment of my character quite clear; I would never assume that you thought I was desirable. But it's still nice to know that you do love me."  
"I have to," I replied, sliding my hands up Tony's chest to cup his neck, rubbing softly. "You're one of my boys." Tony laughed again, arms encircling my waist.  
"I like the sound of that…"

That night, I was tucked up in bed when there was a light knock on the door. I sighed, sitting up. "It's not locked," I called out. The door opened a crack and Steve looked in cautiously. "Cap," I greeted, rather surprised. "What can I help you with?" I asked gently.  
"Can we talk?" he asked, opening the door a little wider. I nodded, patting the end of the bed.  
"Sit down," I invited. I really expected him to deny the request, given his reserve, which is why I was quite shocked and concerned when he shut the door behind himself and sat at my feet. "Something's wrong," I remarked, watching him closely. He stared down at his folded hands, shifting unhappily, before he spoke.  
"I saw Peggy," he blurted. I remained silent until he looked up at me with tearful, piercing eyes. I sighed, scratching my scalp a little and pushing my hair back.

"Okay, Steven. What's on your mind," I asked resignedly.  
"You lied to me," he murmured, evidently hurt by the fact. "Why would you do that? Why did you tell me she was dead?"  
"Because she told me to," I stated plainly. Steve blinked, releasing a tear, and furrowed his brow in confusion. "I had already joined Shield when Auntie Peg was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When she found out, she contacted all the directors and told them that if you ever did turn up again, they would tell you that she had died if you asked. And she told me that if I ever met you, to tell you that she always loved you, and missed you, and that she was happy. I promised I would, and I'm not going to apologise for it, Captain." Steve nodded, looking down again.  
"I understand… It was so hard seeing her like that," he whimpered. Suddenly, his fortitude cracked and he crumbled, burying his face in his hands as quiet sobs shook his muscly frame.

"Ohh," I crooned, leaning forward and taking hold of his shoulders. "Oh, Steve," I hummed, tugging gently. He responded, turning to me and wrapping me up in his big arms, resting his forehead on my lap. I started rubbing his back and stroking his hair soothingly. "Oh, my poor, brave soldier, I know. I know, Sweetie."  
"You… you probably think I'm so weak now," Steve choked.  
"Absolutely not," I stated firmly, tapping him on the shoulder for emphasis. "I don't think you're weak, Sweetie. I think you're a person. You don't need to be Captain America for me, Steve. I love plain old Steven Rogers, the same way I love Anthony Stark and Clinton Barton, Bruce Banner, Natalia Romanova, Thor Odinson… I admire the Avengers, but I _love_ the people."

Steve looked up, giving me a shaky smile. "Yeah. We love you, too," he told me. I smiled, leaning down to plant a warm kiss on his forehead.  
"I know," I whispered, resting my cheek against his head for a moment. I sat up again and smiled a little, rubbing calming circles into Steve's back, kneading out a knot here and there until his breathing evened out and he started snoring lightly; just enough to be cute, not enough to be annoying. When that happened, I grabbed my second pillow and carefully placed his head on it, moving to take off his shoes and put his feet up on the bed before covering him with a spare blanket and getting back under my own covers, drifting off to sleep with a world-renowned hero sleeping on my feet.


	7. Breakfast

The next morning I woke up to find Steve had stretched out on the bed, pushing himself up so his head was cushioned on my abdomen with one arm over my hips and the other arm stretched above his head so his fingers were tangled in my hair. I smiled at the adorable picture, stroking his hair softly. He shifted under my touch, turning his head so my hand caressed the side of his lightly-stubbled face. "Steven," I crooned. The Captain stirred slightly, lifting his arm over the edge of the bed so his hand was tucked into the curve of my waist. "Steven," I tried again, drawing out his name and ruffling his hair gently in an attempt to rouse him. Steve sighed heavily and his wonderful eyes fluttered open. As soon as he registered his surroundings, he bolted upright, slipping off the edge of the bed, making me laugh. "Good morning, Hero," I greeted affectionately. Steve panted in shock, looking around the room before staring up at me with wide, guilty eyes.

"Ellie! I am so, so sorry! I never… I mean, I didn't…" Steve shook his head helplessly, wrapping his arms around himself until he realised that I was giggling like a maniac. I sat forward to comb my fingers through his mussed hair.  
"Steve; we talked, we fell asleep, that's all. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate in our interaction, Sweetie. I'm not upset at all. In fact, I'm really rather pleased that you feel so comfortable with me. You're not going to take it back now, are you?" Steve smiled with a relieved sigh, shaking his head.  
"No, I do. I mean, I am comfortable… with you. Here… Not that I'm saying I need to be in your bedroom or…" I giggled again as Steve started getting flustered and he smiled, taking my amusement good-naturedly.

"You really have no idea how to talk to women, do you?" I asked, pushing my messy hair out of my face. Steve shook his head, looking down shyly. I bent over and pressed a kiss to the side of his forehead. "I need to get changed; go sort yourself out and I'll see you at breakfast. Off you go," I encouraged, nudging his shoulder gently. Steve nodded and pushed himself up, going to the door and opening it just as Tony walked out of his room across the hall. Both men froze and Tony shook his head.  
"No way! You and Ellie?"  
"Don't be daft, Tony!" I called out. "We were talking, we fell asleep, nothing more. You know I'm the marrying kind." Tony looked at me past Steve and nodded.  
"Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense. Okay, see you both at breakfast," Tony said, heading off to go downstairs.

"Huh. He took that really well… That's not like Tony," Steve commented. "Is something wrong?" I sighed, rubbing my eyes.  
"Yes, but I'm working on it," I replied. I looked up at Steve and smiled at his concerned expression, getting out of bed and walking towards him. "Don't fret, Captain. I'm a strong girl; I can take anything you guys throw at me," I told him cheerfully. "Now off you go." I shoved him playfully out of the room and closed the door, locking it so I could get dressed. Natasha came through our joining door while I was pulling on my shirt. "Hey, Natasha."

"Hey. I heard you with Steve last night," she commented. I looked at her, sweeping my hair back and starting to plait it. "I just wanted to tell you… I'm good with men. I mean; I've made a living from it, but what you did last night… what you do for these boys…" Natasha shook her head, pushing my hands away and plaiting my hair for me. "I couldn't do that. And I admire you for it." I smiled, looking at Natasha's reflection behind me in the mirror.  
"Thanks, Tasha. But there are a lot of things you can do that I can't. I mean… being so seductive and everything… I don't have even half the confidence required for that! I'd feel so awkward… We've both got our strengths and weaknesses."  
"True," Natasha agreed, tying off my hair. "Come on, then. Breakfast."

As we were all eating and talking in the kitchen, a roaring pillar of light appeared outside the window and the Asgardians reappeared. "Finally," I sighed, standing to open the door for them. Thor led the group inside. "Breakfast?" I offered. Thor shook his head.  
"Not now, Ellie," he declined softly. "My friends, we have to talk."  
"You look like hell," Clint commented dryly folding his arms.  
"The rebellion has been chased from the castle," Thor informed us. "They are encamped on the outskirts of the realm. A war is brewing, not just between the rebellion and the kingdom, but between the nine realms. They know Asgard is torn, and they intend to take advantage of it."

"And _we_ intend to…"I let the statement hang there, waiting for someone to continue my sentence. Thor looked around at us all with his kingly gaze before staring into my eyes intensely.  
"We intend to reunite Asgard… and remove the false king by any means necessary."  
"Assassins; you're up!" I drawled loudly, turning and flicking my gaze over Tasha, Clint and Bucky and jerking my thumb at Thor over my shoulder. A meaty hand gripped my arm and I looked up at him.  
"It will take more than three assassins to prevent such devastation… Little Warrior," Thor rumbled lowly, unnervingly serious as his eyes bored into mine.


	8. The False King

We were taken via private jet to a secret passageway. Apparently to use the Bifrost to get back to us, Thor and the others had to fight their way through the city. No wonder they looked horrible. Anyway, we were sucked through the secret passage into an enormous camp. Waiting where we came out was Heimdall and I squeaked happily and threw my arms around his waist. "Hi, Heimdall!"  
"It is good to see you again, Lady Ellie," Heimdall replied, taking my behaviour all in his stride. I let him go and stepped back, taking in the surroundings. The rebellion had many people in it; and they were clearly poorly equipped. The clothes were dirty, armour ragged, and bodies malnourished.  
"This is our rebellion army?" I hummed, looking around before looking back up to Thor. "And what do the king's forces look like?" Thor's grim expression was answer enough and I exchanged a concerned glance with Steve, the soldier. "We're in trouble."

"Only if we go up against the king's army," Thor countered, attracting all of our attentions. "That is not our plan."  
"We have a plan?" Tony wondered. He was wearing his Iron Man suit.  
"Yes. We're going to sneak into the palace and kill the king."  
"We're going to sneak in?" Bruce echoed dubiously. Thor nodded. He led us all through the camp with Heimdall at his side and his four warrior companions directly behind him. We were ushered into a tent at the far back of the camp where magical balls of light floated at shoulder-level… Thor's shoulder-level, which is closer to my eye-level.

"Alright, Thor. What's our strategy?" Steve asked, crossing his arms across his chest sternly. I sat down cross-legged on the empty floor by Steve's feet, looking up at Thor like a pre-schooler at story time.  
"Sif, the Warriors Three and myself will lead a daring attack on the palace. Whilst we have the citadel guards distracted, the rest of you will infiltrate the palace by means of various secret entrances."  
"How are we supposed to find the entrances?" Tony demanded. Thor took a roll of parchment that Sif handed him and unrolled the scroll on the table in the center of the tent.

"I have chosen a path for each of you to follow and marked them accordingly. The Man of Iron and the Black Widow will use the protrusions of the architecture to mask their flight, and then they will enter via a concealed trapdoor in the side of the top spire. The Patriotic One and the two Bird Men will take this pass here, up the side of the cliffs, and make the jump to this balcony. There is a door that you may break through." Thor traced the paths with his fingertip, looking at those of us in question. "Lastly, Lady Ellie, the Soldier of Winter, and the Doctor will take this path underneath the palace and come up through a secret panel into the treasure room. When you are all inside, you must split up and search the castle. Once you have located the false king, you will use your tracking devices to summon the rest and you all shall remove the deceiver."

The rest of the meeting went through the rooms in the palace, and what we should all do. When night fell, Thor rallied his little army, and the siege began. Bruce, Bucky and I went through the side streets to circle around the golden castle and find the hidden tunnel into the palace. While we crept through the long, dark, dank passage, we were told of the successful arrivals of both the other teams. The only light we had came from my little pocket torch, which is why when the tunnel suddenly ended, I was unable to save myself from walking into the wall with a small bump. I sighed as Bucky lifted his arms and felt about the ceiling for the opening panel. There was a small grating sound like stone on stone and we all held our breath as Bucky carefully pushed on the roof, lifting a square up and sliding it sideways out of the way. Before we could say anything about who would go first, Bucky jumped, pulled himself out of the hole, and turned back, peering down at me over his mask and holding out his metal hand. I grasped it on both of mine and he cautiously raised me out of the tunnel, setting me beside himself and offering his hands to Bruce.

I looked around at the strange alien artifacts in the enormous treasure chamber we found ourselves in with mild interest. When Bruce had been helped out of the tunnel and the panel had been slid back into place, we all stalked forward carefully and made our way up the massive staircase, Bruce and Bucky pushed open one of the titanic doors and I looked out hesitantly before slipping through the gap. The two men followed me out and we traipse off along the corridor, alert for any signs of trouble. We reached a turnoff that had been shown to us on one of Thor's maps, and the three of us looked at each other. I smiled wistfully, shrugging. "This is my stop," I murmured. The new branch led directly to the inner chambers of the castle, and my talent for stealth meant that I would be the one to try and make my way through those halls and attempt to locate the false king.

"I don't like this," Bucky grumbled, shaking his head and staring at me with concerned eyes surrounded by black war paint. I smirked, rolling my eyes.  
"This is war, Buck. You aren't supposed to like it… Bye, boys." I sent a quick smile between Bucky and Bruce, turned on my heel and loped away down the dim hallway, without leaving any more room for discussion. I slipped through the hallways quietly, keeping my eyes peeled for anyone who looked even remotely regal. As I got closer to the grand hall, I heard shouting from inside. Pausing, I peeked out at the doors from behind a wall and watched as they were flung open and guards marched out with an angry voice following them.

"Destroy that idiot and his pathetic army or I will destroy you! And be sure to check the palace for intruders!" I ducked back and crouched down low underneath a table as a few soldiers marched swiftly past me. I held perfectly still until they had passed out of sight and looked back the way that they had come. There was no further movement, so I slunk from my hiding place and took shelter behind the now open door, listening. It was clear that I had located the false king, now it was a matter of trying to get him as undefended as possible, which meant drawing out any guards that he may have left.

"Bruce," I whispered into my earpiece.  
"Ellie, is something wrong?" Bruce responded.  
"I've found the pretender. He's in the throne room, but there are guards in here. I need you to release Hulk and draw them out for me. Please," I added.  
"Alright. Don't forget to contact the others," Bruce told me. A deep rumbling started up through my earpiece before it gave way to static. Somewhere to my right, a loud bang sounded and a slight tremor shook the floor.

"What is that?"  
"I don't know, Sire."  
"Well, go and find out! If the palace has been breached, I want these trespassers eliminated! Go, all of you, now!" A stream of guards flowed from the throne room and I pushed myself as far into the hinges of the mighty door as I could to avoid detection. The heavy footsteps faded away down the corridor, and I stepped out of my hiding place, ready to contact the others, only to come face-to-face with another person.

"Ellie?" I froze, staring wide-eyed at the tall man with Odin's sceptre absentmindedly held out towards me like a spear in loose hands as startled blue-green eyes examined me intently.  
"Loki," I whispered. He shifted his position so that the sceptre was held at his side, point resting against the floor. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts in the wake of this tremendous shock. I stepped towards Loki slowly and he watched me closely. "Loki, you… You Cur!" I screeched, kicking his arm so the sceptre flew from his grasp. "You scoundrel! You absolute _CAD_!" I threw everything I had into my attack on Loki; punching and kicking him viciously. Loki managed to block and dodge some of my strikes, but he was still getting a good taste of my fury in the hits that he took.

"Easy! Easy, Ellie! Calm yourself!" Loki protested through my barrage. Suddenly, he gripped my hand, stepped into me, and hooked my legs from behind, sending me falling to the floor with him on top of me, hands pinning my wrists to the floor on his knees. I struggled fiercely, snarling. "Ellie, cease!" Loki grumbled. I stopped, looking into his face angrily. I abruptly brought my knee up to connect between his legs violently and Loki's eyes widened as his breath rushed out of him. His grip on my wrists tightened and he lowered his head so his forehead was resting in the hollow between my lower ribs. I panted from exertion, still trapped under Loki as he drew deep breaths that hissed between his clenched teeth. Finally, he inhaled deeply and lifted his face to look me directly in the eyes. "Well, you're still as spirited as ever," he remarked wryly.

"I thought you were dead," I growled. As I said it, relief swept through me and I breathed in sharply. Loki, noticing the change in my demeanour, sat back, pulling me up with him before releasing my wrists. I looked him over intensely, taking in his black hair, longer and less slick than it had been before, his pale skin and slender figure dressed in black leather and gold plates, highlighted by green accents. "I thought you were _dead_!" I squeaked. Loki clicked his tongue sympathetically and lifted his hands. I stepped towards him and he gently pulled me to him. I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed tightly, tucking my face against his chest as he rested his chin on my head. "I thought you were dead," I repeated in a whisper, shaking with emotion. "I thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry," Loki murmured, stroking my hair softly, folding his arm around my waist. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ellie. It was a necessary deception, my dear. Thor rejected his claim to the throne, and I knew the only way I could get the people of Asgard to follow me was to take Odin's form and place. You could not have known, and any clear interest I showed in you would have only given rise to suspicion. I fabricated my demise for the good of Asgard, Ellie. I am so deeply sorry to have caused you pain, dear, sweet little mouse." My earpiece buzzed and I sighed, pressing the button.  
"Ellie? Is that you?" Steve asked anxiously. "You haven't checked in."  
"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm with the false king." Loki stiffened at my words, pulling back slightly to look down at my face.

"Do you need help? I can be right there," Steve told me earnestly, in spite of the fact that I could clearly hear the sounds of fighting through the earpiece.  
"No. No, I don't. It's Loki, Steve. He's alive," I squeaked again, pulling Loki closer again and pressing my face into his chest.  
"Loki?! Are you serious?" Steve demanded.  
"Yes," I replied. "Hang on; I'll get him to call of the attack dogs." I looked up at Loki and he sighed. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again.  
"It is done."  
"Thanks, Loki," I acknowledged. "Steve, get the others and meet us in the throne room. Get Thor first; he has to know."

"Alright, Ellie. But you be careful. Loki cannot be trusted. I mean, he pretended he was dead!"  
"I know; and I kneed him in the crotch for it." There was silence on Steve's end of the line while Loki's breath rumbled in his chest, expressing his displeasure with my advertisement of that fact. I patted him on the chest dismissively, making note of the fact that I was still cradled in his arms.  
"I'm going to get Thor," Steve responded after a while before disconnecting his earpiece.

"Wait," I said, pulling away from Loki so I could get a good look at him. He blinked, taken aback by my sudden distance. "If you took on Odin's aspect, what happened to Odin himself?" Loki thinned his lips coolly as his fine brows drew together, giving him a sinister appearance.  
"Odin was a fool," Loki hissed, curling his lip in distaste. "He was no longer fit to rule Asgard."  
"Loki, what have you done?" I whispered, covering my mouth with my hands as I stared at Loki, stepping back nervously.  
"I killed him."


	9. Leaving

There was, of course, an uproar when the rest of the Avengers showed up. Thor crushed his brother in an embrace that Loki quickly squirmed out of before they started growling at each other about Odin and Asgard and Loki's deception. The rest of the Avengers were understandably nervous at having Loki returned and talked amongst themselves and with Thor about the implications and potential dangers of the situation while Loki seated himself in the polished gold throne and lounged in it, watching the Avengers speak with tired disinterest. I, in the meantime, retreated to the shadow of the curtains by the window at the far side of the room and watched the proceeding silently, leaning against the wall with my arms and ankles crossed.

I was not interested in the politics of the circumstances; it was the emotion that had my attention. Loki was evidently displeased by the invasion made by Thor and his earthly companions; watching them discuss his behaviour and the threat he now posed with thin lips and narrowed eyes, in spite of his relaxed posture. Thor was concerned, not only for the welfare of his people or his brother, but for himself. It seemed that Odin had made a very touching speech before Thor left Asgard to live with Jane; but that speech was, in fact, given by Loki, who had slain Odin. It was somewhat disconcerting for him to think that Loki made a better father than Odin had been. Then there were the remaining Avengers, Sif, and the Warriors Three; none of which were particularly happy to discover that Loki was alive, and were all more or less set on either locking him away securely, or killing him for real.

I noticed when Loki closed his eyes, and moments later, the guards arrived. "I am afraid that I do have certain duties to perform regarding the management of Asgard," Loki announced smoothly with an undertone of irritation. "I would appreciate it if you would leave me in peace. I am expecting the return of a messenger from Nornheim at any moment." The guards surrounded the Avengers plus Sif and the Warriors, not noticing me in the shadows, and escorted them from the room, much to their disgruntlement. When the heavy doors closed behind them, Loki's position slumped into one of clear exhaustion and he held his head in his hand, sighing loudly. It was evident that he had either forgotten all about me, or had thought that I had been gathered up with the others and taken away. I took a silent step out of the darkness and into the starlight streaming through the window, looking out through the kaleidoscope of colour.

"Two years," I stated lowly, hearing Loki start behind me. I didn't turn to look, even when I heard him stand and approach me. His figure slipped into the edge of my peripheral vision, and still I did not turn, staring out into the vastness of space. "For two years I have mourned you," I continued, letting the emotions of those past years flow through me. Finally, I turned my head to look up at Loki, taking him in again as he watched me in return, uncertain. "Did you ever think about me?" I asked; my quiet, vulnerable voice surprising myself. I stared into his eyes contemplatively before spinning on my heel quickly and stalking towards the door. As I reached it and pushed, a deep, soft voice met my ears.  
"I never stopped." I hesitated for a moment, not knowing if the quiet reply was meant for me to hear. I turned my head slightly towards Loki before stopping myself and shaking my head dismissively, slipping through the door and shutting it on Loki and his solitude.

"Ellie." I looked up when Tony said my name and stepped into the room where the others were all waiting. "Where were you?"  
"With Loki," I responded simply without adding any sort of emotion to my speech.  
"I told you. I said that she would be with the pretender." I turned at Sif's bitter, accusing tone to find her dark eyes boring into me. "What did you know of his plot? You were in on it, of course. I doubt that Loki would leave his little Midgardian mouse pet in the dark. Never mind that it hurt your friend," Sif gestured to Thor who was now staring at me with uncertainty and a quiet distrust in his gaze. "You were a trickster all along. Manipulating everyone around you. Do you get a thrill out of bending people's emotions to your will? Does it please you, to feel some measly measure of control? Because you know that you will never be truly powerful. It burns you, doesn't it? All you will ever achieve is a place at the feet of a poser playing at being a king…"

Sif broke of suddenly when I lunged for her and slammed my fist into her perfect nose, feeling my knuckles crack as her bone crunched beneath my blow. I tried to hit her again, but a steel band wrapped around my waist and hauled me away as I snarled and screamed violently, kicking and wriggling. "You bitch! I never knew anything! You pathetic, miserable cow; you wish you had power! You have less than even I do!" I stopped my squirming as an acidic sort of calm flooded my body and I relaxed in Thor's hold. "You love someone who has never noticed. I would not be surprised if he thought you one of the men," I laughed cruelly as Sif glared at me, holding a hand to her bloody nose. "How does it feel to know that Thor prefers a gentle, sweet little Midgardian over you?" I wondered with a nasty pleasure and was rewarded when Sif started shaking with rage and hurt, eyes sparkling suspiciously as she blinked rapidly.

"That is enough, Elli," Thor said in a clipped, angry voice, turning away from Sif and releasing me carelessly, making me stumble before I turned on him with burning eyes, nursing my injured hand.  
"I'm leaving," I announced shortly, and Thor blinked at me, surprised.  
"What?" Bruce asked. Everyone in the room was staring at me and I lifted my chin proudly.  
"You heard me," I said firmly. I looked around at everyone before focusing my bitter ire on Thor. "What with you pulling me off to fight in your battle, that masculine warrior bitch picking at me every time I'm around, and your undead brother, I have had quite enough of aliens for a good long while! I'm going home," I huffed sharply. I stepped away towards the door when Thor's voice halted me.

"Heimdall answers to me and Loki, Ellie. If I say you are to stay, there is no way for you to leave." I looked back at Thor, lifting an eyebrow coolly as he returned my gaze stoically.  
"You would hold me a prisoner of your realm?" I challenged and Thor's face fell as he cringed.  
"No," he sighed, defeated. "I would not. If you wish to go, I will not keep you here." I snorted in irritation and walked away again.  
"You're really going to abandon us?" Steve called after me. I glanced at him over my shoulder in the doorway.  
"You're not an alien; you are welcome to join me, if you can't do without." I looked away again and made my way back through the castle, and the town, and over the rainbow bridge.

"I take it you know everything," I sighed as I entered the Bifrost dome. Heimdall inclined his head subtly. "Then you know that Thor won't trap me here. I'd like to go home, please," I told him with barely-held calm. Heimdall prepared the Bifrost with slow, deliberate movements, keeping his glowing eyes on me as he did so.  
"Are you certain that this is what you wish?" he wondered quietly, pushing his sword down and activating the Bifrost. I hesitated, Heimdall's gentle presence having blunted my anger quickly.

I took a breath to answer when a large boom echoed through the air and I whirled around to face the direction of the noise. "What was that?" I wondered, startled.  
"An explosion," Heimdall said, drawing his sword again. "Enemies are attacking Asgard!"  
"And you didn't see them?" Heimdall shook his head at me gravely.  
"I was watching you, I'm afraid," he told me, looking out across the cityscape and frowning. "I don't understand."

"What?" I demanded anxiously. Heimdall looked down on me with a grim expression.  
"The Chitauri…" I hissed, crinkling my nose, "and the Frost Giants." I blinked at Heimdall, thoroughly shocked. Another explosion split the air and we looked back to the city again.  
"We should go," I decided, swatting Heimdall's arm lightly and starting for the door.  
"Yes, we should," Heimdall agreed, large strides dwarfing mine as we headed back across the bridge.


	10. Cruel

"That's what normal Frost Giants look like?" I remarked as Heimdall and I entered the palace. The large, lumbering blue aliens were swinging clubs made of ice as the Chitauri skittered around, shooting at anyone who moved. "Loki is a midget!"  
"Really? That is what you have taken from this?" Heimdall asked me reproachfully, swinging his sword deftly for the Chitauri coming at us.  
"Hey! I'm an oddity; leave me be!" I complained in return, shooting one Frost Giant in the head as it lunged for me. It came crashing down before me and I scrambled up over its body, shooting a few Chitauri and jumping down again. I used my claws against another Frost Giant, ducking when it took a swing at me and taking a chunk out of its inner thigh before tearing its throat apart and moving on.

I made my way through the battle, seeking out my friends… if they were still my friends after what I'd said. I wouldn't be surprised if Thor never wanted to speak to me again… And Steve thought I'd betrayed them; that was clear… _I should have been paying attention_. A sharp, numbing pain bit into my calf and I stumbled, falling to one knee as a Frost Giant approached me. I looked down to find my calf pierced by a javelin made of ice. I turned and shot at the Giant, and it grunted when the bullets hit, but kept coming. I tried to stand, but my leg wouldn't obey me. Behind me, the Giant leaned down and grabbed the spear, dragging me backwards. I couldn't hold back the whine that I gave as I felt the fibres in my leg tear. I was picked up by the lance and squealed when it cut through the back of my calf and I dropped to the floor again.

I started shaking, whimpering as the beast towered over me. Just before it brought the spear down through my back, I rolled, aimed my gun, and fired. This time, the Giant jerked and crashed to the ground, fitting with the electricity my Taser punched him with. I sat up, took aim, and put a bullet through its eye. Panting and trembling, I sat staring at the creature as the sounds of fighting faded around me. I was surprised by the features of this Frost Giant. I could see similarities between it and Loki; sharp nose and angular jaw… and yet Loki was so very different from this thing… Grunting, I hauled myself slowly and painfully to my feet and limped off to find the others. On my way I once again met Heimdall and asked where the others were. He told me that Loki and the others were congregated in the throne room. I nodded and made my sluggish, aching way to the room.

When I arrived, the Avengers were standing around in a loose circle with the Warriors Three and Sif. Loki stood with his back to the door and I came up behind him as he spoke to the rest. "...messengers. I have tried diplomacy with these realms. The messenger from Jotunheim never returned. I think it is evident that peaceful negotiations have failed, given today's events."  
"Is everyone okay?" I asked softly. All eyes turned on me. None were particularly friendly.  
"I thought you were leaving," Clint remarked bitterly. I blinked as the edges of my vision started going fuzzy and my ears buzzed a little.

"I was. But Heimdall… and the explosions…"  
"We handled it well enough without you," Tony sneered. "After all; you're not an Avenger." I nodded lethargically, eyelids getting heavy.  
"I know…" I acknowledged. "I know…" I swallowed, shaking my head quickly in an effort to clear it. "… I…" The numbness that had been creeping up on me now gripped me tightly and I went limp, falling sideways as my injured leg collapsed beneath me, followed by the rest of me. Arms quickly wrapped around my torso before I hit the ground and I was cradled against Loki's chest. The world took on a dull grey tint and I could only just make out Loki looking me over with nervous concern.

"Ellie? What is it? What's happened?" he demanded quickly, kneeling so I was sitting on the ground, still held against him with one arm as his free hand cupped my cheek, keeping my heavy head tilted up to his face.  
"You're not like other Frost Giants…" I told him, my tongue sticking to my teeth and my mouth not seeming to want to open properly. I blinked rapidly, trying to focus. "Can you shoot people with ice too?" I wondered idly as even Loki's pale skin darkened and my vision turned to black…

I woke slowly, easing into consciousness. The room around me was a creamy marble; clean, quiet. Wide windows beside me let in a soft white light filtered through gossamer curtains. I was lying in a bed with crisp white sheets. Some sort of hospital room… Turning my head I found a familiar figure sitting in a chair beside me, leaning forward tiredly, bracing his arms on the edge of my mattress and resting his head on them. I sat up and Loki's head shot up immediately, staring at me with wide eyes. "Easy, Ellie," he said, stretching out a hand to touch my arm. "Slowly. You lost a large volume of blood, my dear." I looked Loki over silently. He was visibly exhausted, blinking heavily with eyelids surrounded by shadows, leaning against the bed for support.

"How long was I out for?" I asked, pulling away from his touch and tossing aside the bed sheets. I was still in full uniform, barefoot, with the lower part of my right pant leg cut away and replaced by a white bandage, slightly stained with blood.  
"Two days," Loki told me. "Ellie, please. Don't rush…" I ignored him completely, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed opposite him and carefully dropping to the floor, testing my injury. It was rather painful, but I could stand.  
"Give me an update," I ordered, taking a few steps away from the bed towards the window, wincing. "What's been happening?"

Loki sighed, sitting back in his chair again. "Your friends are worried for you…"  
"I don't care," I told him sternly, looking at him over my shoulder. "Tell me about the Frost Giants." I looked back to the window and stepped forward again, brushing aside the curtains and leaning against the glass, looking out over the damaged, beautiful kingdom.  
"There is not much to tell. It seems their attack was merely to test Asgard's defences. I do not know if they have been discouraged, or if they are now making plans…" Loki sighed heavily, groaning. I turned back to find him with his face buried in his hands, elbows propped up on his knees. "I tried, Ellie. In spite of what Thor and his friends think, I have tried to be a good ruler… a good king… I tried for peace…"

"I believe you," I told him softly. Loki lifted his head again to look at me. "How much time have you spent here with me?" I asked, walking around the bed, unable to avoid favouring my right leg, and crossing my arms over my chest, looking down at the Jotun. Loki looked away from me self-consciously and I shook my head. "You have bigger problems to concern yourself with than my wellbeing, Princeling," I drawled, heading for the door. Behind me, I heard Loki lunge to his feet.  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
"To the kitchens. I'm hungry," I replied. As I stalked down the corridor outside, I passed an open door and a voice called out from inside.

"Ellie!"  
"What, Bruce?" I sighed, irritated. The footsteps approaching me from behind faltered and I turned to look at the group now standing in the corridor with me.  
"Are… are you okay?" Bruce asked hesitantly.  
"No." Silence reigned for a moment before I huffed and started to walk away again.  
"Where are you going?" Steve asked.  
"To get food. I'm told I've been unconscious for two days," I responded curtly, still walking away.  
"Wait!" Natasha came up to me when I paused and looked into my eyes. "Go sit down. We'll bring you something to eat."  
"I don't want you to bring me anything, Natasha," I retorted coolly. "I can feed myself. Leave me be," I commanded firmly, turning and swiftly making my way back up the corridor again. No one tried to stop me that time. I remembered where the kitchens were from my previous stay in Asgard and found my way without trouble. One of the kitchen hands, a young Asgardian boy, recognised me.

"Lady Ellie!" he exclaimed. The whole kitchen looked over to me and offered their gestures of respect. I quirked an eyebrow.  
"Am I still a Lady by Asgardian standards?" I wondered.  
"Of course, Milady," the boy responded. "You are still friend to Prince Thor." I thought on that and stayed silent, considering the rough relationship I had at that moment with Thor and the rest of them.  
"Is it possible for me to get something simple to eat? An apple with some cheese and bread or something?"

"Yes, Milady." The boy rushed around and procured a little tray of my requested foods. I smiled at him gratefully and took the tray away. I slipped out of the palace using one of the many back ways I had familiarised myself with during my last stay and hid myself in a little garden, hidden amongst hedges and trees. After I had finished my little meal, I set my tray aside and laid down on the stone seat by a tiny pond, falling asleep soundly. When I awoke, I returned to the palace to find Loki, Thor and Steve standing around near the room I had been placed in. When they caught sight of me, the first emotion I noted was relief, followed swiftly by anger.

"Where in the Nine Realms have you been?" Thor demanded, stalking up to me and standing over me in an aggressive manner.  
"Asleep in the garden. If you were so set on finding me, it would have been easy enough for you to ask Heimdall, Thor."  
"Heimdall needs all his attention focussed on the enemies of Asgard," Thor grumbled. I frowned at him darkly.  
"What do you want from me?" I questioned tiredly, bracing my hands on my hips.  
"I want you to shed whatever foul mood has overcome you and return to being the girl we're all familiar with."

"Well, excuse me for being human!" I snarled. "I'm sorry, Thor, but I cannot be there for you all the time! You are all thoroughly exhausting and I can only take so much!" I glared at the three males before me angrily. "You have taken me for granted long enough," I stated lowly. "That's how it is. You call; I answer. You trust in that. You've grown used to relying on me… Can you tell me I'm wrong?" Thor and Steve shifted awkwardly, recognising the truth of my words.  
"I don't rely on anyone," Loki remarked.  
"You don't trust anyone," I pointed out.  
"Almost," Loki replied quietly, and I was immediately taken back to another conversation. One during which I was wearing quite a bit less clothing. I smirked, anticipating his statement.

"You trust me," I said as he continued,  
"I trust you." Loki and I shared a smile and I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. I sighed, scratching my scalp.  
"Is there somewhere where I can clean myself up?" I asked drearily. Loki held out his arm.  
"Follow me; I'll have one of the serving girls see to you." I nodded, obeying him and allowing him to escort me from the hallway.

"Hold on; I'll come with you," Steve said. Loki glared at him.  
"I can manage Miss Carter alone, Soldier." Steve returned Loki's glare with equal venom.  
"I don't trust you. Especially not with Ellie. You like her; that's even more dangerous to her than if you hated her like you hate the rest of us." Loki growled; I could feel is chest vibrating against my shoulder.  
"You're all dangerous," I told them. All three men looked back at me and I returned their stares apathetically.

"You think I'd be this way without you?" I challenged with a smirk, putting a hand to a gun at my hip and lifting my injured leg pointedly. The three men looked somewhat guilty.  
"We'd never hurt you, though," Steve protested weakly.  
"Not on purpose, I expect," I responded. Perhaps I was being a little cruel, but it wasn't untrue…  
"Come," Loki said after a pause, subdued. "Let's get you cleaned…"


	11. Missed You

The warm bath served to relax me, allowing me to reclaim some of my usual cheer and optimism. I was also thrilled to see Danira again, and we chatted happily while she brushed my hair for me. I was given a simple pewter-grey Asgardian gown to wear, along with plain black sandals. I felt quite refreshed when I was washed and dressed in clean clothes, but not quite enough to forgive the Avengers for the pressure they placed on me. When I walked out of the bathroom, I found someone waiting for me. "Bucky?"  
"I have something to show you," he told me, getting directly to the point and holding out a sheet of paper to me. I took it and unfolded it, tilting my head at the picture drawn there.  
"Is this me?" I asked. Bucky nodded and I looked at the signature at the bottom of the page; S. Rogers. "When did he do this?" I asked.

"A little before Thor arrived," Bucky murmured, staring at me in that vaguely unsettling way of his.  
"And you are giving this to me because…"  
"Because you seem to have forgotten how much you mean to the others. I thought you could use a reminder." I looked at Bucky blankly for a moment before sighing, holding out my arm and crooking my fingers at him. Bucky approached me slowly, looking wary, and I put my arm over his shoulder, pulling him down to me and hugging him, kissing his cheek before resting my forehead against his clavicle. Bucky cautiously put his arms around me, standing stiffly and awkwardly patting the back of my shoulder with his metal hand.

"You're a great friend, Buck," I mumbled softly.  
"I'm a monster," Bucky disagreed. I smacked him on the chest lightly.  
"No. If anything, you're Adam."  
"Adam?"  
"Frankenstein's monster. He wasn't really a monster; he was made into something he was never meant to be. Just like you." I felt Bucky tilt his head slightly, considering that.  
"I thought Frankenstein _was_ a monster," he muttered after a moment.  
"I don't think he was. He was trying to accomplish something good."  
"I meant the creature."

"The creature was lonely, not evil," I countered.  
"Am I lonely?" Bucky wondered huskily, shaking his head uncertainly.  
"You shouldn't be," I told him lightly. "I'm hugging you… and you aren't alone. We were both created by circumstances outside of our control; I just made a choice that you didn't get." Bucky nodded and his grip on me tightened. I smiled, patting his chest casually.  
"Thank you, Ellie."  
"Any time, Sweetie. You're one of my boys." Bucky shook slightly with a silent laugh and I giggled, pulling back from him and sighing. "Now I'd better go take care of the rest of my boys before they fall apart." Bucky nodded, releasing me instantly, and I smiled at him, walking back towards the room where the Avengers gathered, still carrying the picture.

I entered the room and the Avengers, Warriors Three and Loki looked at me warily. I held my picture out to Steve and he took it, opening it and blushing. "How'd you get this?" he asked quietly.  
"Bucky," I shrugged, smiling. "He reminded me of how I actually like you, so… what's going on?" I asked, moving to sit on the arm of Clint's chair easily, propping my injured leg up.  
"No news yet… You seem… cheerful," Thor said carefully. I shrugged.  
"Yeah, well, Bucky reminded me of how you actually like me, in spite of the fact that you can be total pains at times, so I guess I'm feeling a little less miffed. Let's see if you can keep me this way, shall we?" I chirped. The others all shared wary looks amongst themselves and I sighed. "Update, please."

"It would seem that Asgard's enemies are working to set aside their own squabbles in order to rally their peoples and march on the kingdom," Loki reported, shifting agitatedly and running a hand over his abdomen. I caught the movement and frowned, my thoughts flicking back through all the times he'd made the casual gesture when it meant so much more. Loki caught my frown and his eyes flashed at me warningly. I consciously smoothed my expression and waited for the conversation to continue.  
"What are we to do about it?" Hogun wondered impatiently. "Do we move on them?"  
"That would be unwise," Thor announced with a sigh, pushing himself up from his seat and standing beside his brother. "Have you any plans, Brother?" Loki shook his head, scowling in frustration.

"No… I have pieces of plans, no more than ideas, really. These are very recent developments, Brother. I have not yet had time to properly assess the situation and prepare a course of action," Loki growled absentmindedly, looking down at the ground blankly in thought. Thor started pacing and I couldn't help but smile as the pair seemed to fall back into a pattern of behaviour that I could only surmise had been developed through their lives together before Loki's parentage was revealed to them both.  
"You have not heard from any of the messengers you sent?" Thor inquired. Loki shook his head, not lifting his face.  
"None returned. We can only assume that they are all slain."

"We could go ourselves," Thor suggested. Loki glanced up at his brother then, blinking in surprise.  
"I beg your pardon?" Thor grinned at Loki, stepping forward and grabbing his arms.  
"Think about it, Brother. We take our friends with us, and we go to the other realms to discuss negotiations ourselves! We are diplomats, after all. And if they refuse to negotiate, then we will kill their leaders and show them that the strength of Asgard remains unbroken!" Loki laughed bitterly, pulling away from Thor and snapping any glimpses I had into their pasts.  
"What friends?" Loki snarled, shaking his head. "I have no friends."  
"Oh, ta, Princeling," I grumbled, crossing my arms defensively. Loki flicked his gaze over to me and met my eyes. " _I_ didn't fake my death, what are you cutting me out for?" I demanded. Loki sighed, running a hand over his hair.

"Then I suppose I have one friend, when she's not angry at me," Loki amended, turning his attention back to Thor again. "Hardly enough to take on a potentially fatal diplomatic mission, Thor; no matter how extraordinary Miss Carter is." Thor looked at Loki sadly.  
"Very well. I will go with you. Borrow my friends; they've come through for you before, Brother. I know they will help on this mission for the good of Asgard." Loki stared at Thor for a moment before nodding decisively.  
"For the good of Asgard," Loki echoed. "Your friends will agree to embark on this quest?" Thor looked around at the group imploringly and received nods and murmurs of assent. "Done," Loki declared, turning and sweeping from the room. "Make your individual preparations; I will see to the general supplies."

I followed Loki from the room, trotting to match up to his long, purposeful stride, which wasn't easy with a limp. He didn't acknowledge my presence until he turned into a room full of palace servants and ordered preparations to be made for the mission, after which, he took me by the arm and led me out to a discreet little balcony. "Ellie, why are you following…" Loki's speaking ended in a grunt as I pressed my hand against his abdomen and he winced, bending slightly and grabbing my hand, holding it still as he stared at me, breathing deeply.

"Did you think I would not notice, Loki?" I inquired lowly.  
"I hoped you wouldn't," he whispered, swallowing tensely. "Don't tell Thor." I snorted, rolling my eyes.  
"Princeling, when have I ever told Thor?"  
"You haven't," Loki allowed. "But I know you worry over me, over all of us, Sif aside. I'm never sure whether or not you'll betray my confidences if you think the others need to know my weaknesses."  
"Unless I think you're dying and they can actually help, or you're going to kill them, inadvertently or otherwise, your secrets are safe with me." Loki looked me over thoughtfully before nodding and releasing my hand, turning to gaze out over the city.

"You should go and pack what you'll need for our journey." Loki paused, glancing back at me. "If you are joining us; you didn't say anything when Thor asked," he noted. I smiled, shaking my head at Loki.  
"I didn't reply to Thor because I'm going as _your_ friend, Loki," I told him. Loki smiled slightly, inclining his head.  
"It's good to have you back, Little Mouse."  
"It's good to have you back, too, Princeling. I never thought you would be back." Loki winced, looking down guiltily.

"I am sorry, Ellie. I sincerely wish that you could have known. Things would have been easier for both of us if you did."  
"Why would that have been easier for you?" I wondered, confused. Loki sighed, shaking his head and putting his hands on the balcony railing.  
"It matters not. Go and pack, Ellie." I scowled at Loki's back, irritated.  
"Are you going to keep hiding things from me, Loki?" Loki frowned, looking at me from the corner of his eye.  
"You are perceptive; can you not think of a reason why I may have wanted you with me these past five years?"

"You were lonely?" I tried, shrugging uncertainly. Loki thinned his lips, looking down and I stared at him as the realisation dawned on me. "Oh my gosh; you actually missed me," I breathed, startled.  
"Of course I missed you," Loki snapped, turning to face me again. "I spent months in your company, and then there was nothing for five years. I had some adjusting to do; and it didn't help that as soon as I came back here, my father-figure was sentencing me to live the rest of my days in solitary confinement, only allowing me to live because of Frigga's wishes. Yes, I missed you, Ellie. Every day." I sprang forward and threw my arms around Loki, nuzzling into his chest as he folded his arms around my back, instinctively curling his body over me protectively.  
"I missed you, too, Loki," I murmured. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're alive."  
"Then that makes one of you." I growled at that, smacking Loki on the chest sharply.

"That's not true; Thor is so happy to have his brother back."  
"I am not his brother," Loki retorted coldly, narrowing his eyes at me. "He is not my brother." I flicked my gaze over Loki with a small smile.  
"You were calling each other 'Brother' before," I reminded him quietly. Loki blinked, staring down at me blankly. "Your habits betray you, Princeling. Deep down, you still love your brother as much as he still loves you. He told me that you saved his life. If you cared as little as you claim to, you would have allowed that Kursed to slay him." Standing on my tiptoes, favouring my injured leg, I put my hand behind Loki's neck and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before dropping to my normal height and leaving to ready myself for the mission.


	12. Ice

We were scheduled to leave at first light the following morning, so most of the Avengers went to bed early to conserve their energy. I had been unconscious for two days, and had had a nap earlier, so I wasn't quite ready for sleep yet. Instead, I chose to wander around the palace aimlessly, enjoying the architecture and artworks. Walking through the nobles' quarters, I heard movement in one of the bedchambers. I walked up to the door and pressed my ear against it curiously. "No," I heard Loki rumble. I knocked on the door, trying to rouse Loki without waking anyone else. "No," Loki growled again. I sighed and tried the doorknob. It turned and I opened the door, walking over to the bed where a blue-skinned Loki squirmed, frowning in his sleep, obviously distressed. I clicked my tongue, shaking my head.  
"Not this again," I sighed. Bracing myself for what I assumed would be a violent reaction, I approached the bed and put my hand on Loki's arm, calling, "Loki!" The reaction was instantaneous and vicious. Loki sat up in a blur of movement with a feral snarl and latched his hand around my throat, squeezing.

I stared into his deep crimson eyes as I scrabbled at his hold on me, my throat aching with pressure and stinging with cold. Loki blinked and let me go with a strangled gasp, flinging himself up from the bed and backing away from me as I coughed, shaking his head with a horrified expression on his face. After I caught my breath, I spoke softly. "Nightmare or memory?"  
"Memory… Always memories," Loki breathed shakily, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle.  
"Chitauri?" I wondered. Loki nodded, frowning and pushing the heel of his palm against his forehead.  
"Chitauri, Jotuns, Asgardians… They're all against me; everyone is," he panted, upset.  
"I'm not," I reminded the prince gently, lowering my hand from my throat.  
"WELL YOU SHOULD BE!" Loki roared, making me jump in surprise as he glared at me before whirling around and stalking over to the ornate mirror on the wall by the windows.

He stared at his reflection tensely, breathing raggedly. "You should be," he reiterated softly. I pushed myself up from the bed, watching Loki closely. "I'm a monster, a nightmare… a villain…" I stepped up behind Loki and stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms over his shoulders, meeting his reflected gaze with a small smile.  
"I'm not scared of you, Loki," I told him. I turned my face to his and brushed the frosted tear tracks from his cheek with the backs of my fingers. "You look good in blue," I remarked, pecking his cheek. I let him go, backing away casually as his normal, pale colouring spread out from the spot where I'd kissed him. "Goodnight, Princeling. I'll see you in the morning." Loki nodded silently, swallowing, and I left his chambers to go to my own.

The next morning, we all congregated on the front steps of the palace, saddling horses and loading packs of food, water and weaponry. "What happened to your throat?" Tony asked me as he helped me heft my packs up onto my horse, a dark bay named Helfin.  
"What?" I wondered, tugging the straps secure and stepping away from the horse, pushing my loose hair out of my face with a sigh. Loki glanced over to us, listening.  
"Your throat," Tony repeated impatiently, grabbing my arm and pulling me over to yank down the collar of my uniform. I had exchanged my ruined trousers and boots for Asgardian replacements.  
"Hey!" I protested, drawing away from him and holding my hand up to the blotchy red, purple and black skin at my throat.  
"That looks like frostbite," Tony stated, turning his narrowed eyes on Loki. "What did you do to her?" he demanded.

Everyone paused, looking at me, Tony and Loki. Loki shook his head wordlessly, brow furrowed somewhere in between anger and guilt. "It was an accident," I told Tony.  
"No, an accident would be stepping on your toes. Grabbing you by the throat and squeezing; that's not an accident, Carter," Tony growled, stepping towards Loki aggressively. Clint and Steve moved to join him, obviously ready to take a chunk out of Loki. Loki curled his lip, clenching his fists as green light rippled over his hands. I snarled, springing into place between the Avengers and the prince.  
"I said it was an accident!" I barked. "Back off!" The Avengers blinked at me in surprise, and I saw Loki staring at me blankly by my shoulder.  
"Ellie… if Loki's done something to you…" Steve faded off uncertainly and I scowled at him.

"You nearly punched me out by accident once, Captain. Hanging out with super-powered beings is always going to be dangerous; I learned that a long time ago. Back off." The Avengers obeyed, stepping away and going about their preparations again. I sighed, rubbing my eyes, and turned to face Loki. "You okay?" I asked.  
"You needn't defend me, Carter. I can handle those fools easily enough," Loki huffed haughtily. I raised a brow at him, thinning my lips impatiently.  
"Loki, I am in no mood for your blustering." Loki frowned at me and turned back to Sleipnir. "Does Thor know that Sleipnir isn't yours?" I inquired idly, stroking the horse's neck. Loki halted, glaring at me from the corner of his eye.  
"No. I haven't told him. It's not his business."

"It wasn't mine either; you didn't have a problem telling me."  
"I trust you. I don't trust Thor."  
"I do," I said, smiling as Sleipnir lipped at my collar. "You should, too. He loves you. Ah!" I hissed as Sleipnir's whiskery muzzle brushed my frostbitten skin, making it sting sharply. Loki's self-assured, defensive manner fell away and he placed his hand on my back, clenching his jaw anxiously. I shrugged him off and moved away again, saying, "The sooner we get moving, the sooner we can get this nonsense sorted out and go home…"

We were taken via Bifrost to the realm of Jotunheim. I was struck at once by the icy bleakness of the place; looking over to Loki to see what this realm did to him. He remained in his usual form, but there was a tension in him that wasn't even present when he was fighting with the Avengers. Loki caught me looking and narrowed his eyes at me coldly before turning his gaze away. Without a word, we all rode forward, Thor and Loki taking the lead. I fell in just behind Loki, just in front of Steve and Fandral. We rode through towering ice structures towards a cluster of icy spires that rose sharply ahead of us. I bit my lip, shifting uncomfortably as my traumatised calf throbbed painfully with the pressure of riding, but I kept my silence. We arrived at the spires, and I discovered that it was like some sort of hall, Jotuns appearing on either side to watch us as we rode up to the risen platform upon which sat a Frost Giant that I assumed was in charge and halted.

"We are envoys from Asgard here to negotiate peace between our realms," Loki announced softly and calmly, showing absolutely no sign of weakness before the others of his species. I felt a tremendous amount of pride swell in my chest for him; I knew how difficult being in Jotunheim amongst the kin who had abandoned him would be. I nudged Helfin forward so I was positioned at Loki's left side to offer him what emotional support I could, just back from him in submissiveness to his position.  
"We know of you, Loki Laufeyson," the Jotun leader rumbled sinisterly. Loki remained unreadable, blinking slowly but otherwise unresponsive. "Do your fellows know the truth of your heritage, False King of Asgard?"  
"We are all aware that Loki is a Jotun by birth," Thor declared from his place at Loki's right, a faintly menacing defensiveness underlying his words. Loki cast a warning glance at his brother and Thor bowed his head slightly in deference.

"You have heard it, I am sure; but have you seen his Jotun form?" the Frost Giant's leader wondered, smirking with contemptuous amusement. Loki took a deep breath and the others glanced at each other uneasily, uncertain where this line of questioning was leading. But I knew, and Loki knew, and he did not like it. "Show them, Trickster," the Frost Giant commanded simply. "Show them, or our audience ends now." Loki shook his head slowly, furrowing his brow faintly. "Show them," the Jotun growled insistently, glowering down at Loki.  
"Why would you have me change my form?" Loki asked, his tone never altering from the soft, cool address he had started with.  
"Because it is one thing for your companions to know of your difference, it is quite another for them to witness it for themselves. You know this, or you would not be so reluctant for them to see you. Show them, and we shall find out just how united Asgard's envoys truly are…"

Loki's composure cracked slightly and his breath quickened as he glanced at Thor, swallowing anxiously. Thor stared back at Loki with a guilty sort of worry and suspicion in his countenance. Loki looked past Thor to Sif, Hogun, Volstagg and Fandral who all met his gaze with curiosity and coldness. "I'm waiting," the Jotun leader snarled lowly and Loki looked up at him, caught between disdain for the being before him and dismay over his own surprising vulnerability. I know that nobody had touched on this nerve of Loki's before; no one had ever asked to see his Frost Giant form… No one except me… I nudged Helfin softly so he stepped towards Sleipnir and my knee bumped against Loki's calf. Loki looked down at me and I stared back into his eyes calmly, silently giving him all my support. Loki sighed, bowing his head towards me and closing his eyes. Colour started seeping out from his eyelids, nostrils and lips, spreading across his face, raising ridges along his skin.

Taking a deep breath, Loki opened his eyes, studying me silently for a moment before turning his face up to the Frost Giant Leader. The Jotun leader sneered down at Loki with a perverse pleasure. "Look at them." Loki obeyed, tilting his chin up defiantly as he turned his face to Sif and the Warriors Three who stared back at him with evident shock. Loki then turned his eyes on Thor who looked back at his brother with a mixture of shock, pity and wonder. Loki flinched slightly at Thor's intense emotional gaze and I subtly brushed my knuckles against his arm soothingly. Loki looked up at the Jotun leader once again, hardening against further injury.  
"So, may we negotiate now?" Loki demanded, voice calm as ever. The Frost Giant's leader smiled wider and shook his head.  
"No. I don't think so. I think you've wandered into a dangerous situation, Runt. I think we'll remove you from the picture now and save ourselves the hassle when we take Asgard."

Loki's eyes widened and he ducked, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down over Helfin's neck as the others reacted similarly and I heard the whistling sound of multiple projectiles soaring just over our heads. Once the whistling stopped, Loki released me and threw his hand out towards the Jotun leader. There was a flash of silver and I looked up at the Frost Giant as he stared at Loki. The Jotuns around us all moved to attack swiftly and I turned Helfin quickly to follow along with the others, but not before I caught sight of the blood welling and dripping down the Jotun leader's chest. Everything around me was a flurry of sound and motion and I was swept along, grimacing at the pain in my leg as I struggled to keep pace with the rest of the group. "We need to get out of here!" Thor roared.  
"We can't take the Bifrost! Heimdall would never risk the safety of Asgard!" Sif called in response.  
"Follow me! I know a way out!" Loki shouted sternly, spurring Sleipnir to the head of the group and arcing our path away. I was glad that Helfin was determined to stay with the herd because I was no longer in control of the horse's movements; it was enough for me to simply remain mounted. Our path wound through many frozen pillars and cliffs until we came to a crack in the ice. Loki urged his mount forward and the two of them disappeared into the shadow. The other horses and riders followed and I flinched as the light flashed around us and I felt the now familiar feeling of leaving my insides behind me as we were transported instantly to another realm. The horses were pulled up and everyone waited tensely to see if we were followed.

When it became apparent that we weren't, everyone started to relax, dismounting and examining our surroundings. "Where are we?" Sam wondered.  
"This is the realm of Nornheim," Loki replied coolly, stroking Sleipnir's neck affectionately.  
"Is it safe to camp here?" Natasha asked, peering into the strange vegetation around us.  
"It is for the moment," Loki confirmed. "We are far from the Nornheim residents, and this area is very secluded. I've been here before many times without any problems arising."  
"Ellie, what are you doing?" Steve inquired as I hunched over Helfin's neck. "We're camping here tonight."  
"I'm stuck," I whimpered, pushing my fingers against my eyes to chase away the moisture there.

"What's wrong?" Steve demanded in concern, approaching me and my horse quickly, laying his hand on my knee.  
"My calf is playing up. Just give me a minute; I'll be able to get down once it stops hurting so much."  
"Don't be silly; come here. Let me help you," Steve countered, sliding one arm around my waist. I let myself flop against his shoulder, wincing as he carefully pulled me from the saddle, lowering me to the ground. "Are you all right?" he asked, looking down at me with his arms locked around my back, supporting most of my weight. I nodded, lowering my head and resting my forehead against his chest.

"Not my first war-wound, Cap," I reminded him softly. "Just sit me down and I'll be okay." I hissed as Steve helped me to sit on the ground, stretching out my injured leg. Steve crouched in front of me, watching closely as I pulled off my boot and pushed up my pant leg to reveal the inflamed, weeping tissue of my calf. "Damn; I popped my stitches," I growled impatiently. "Steve, in my pack I've got some bandages. Be a dear and fetch one for me," I requested quietly. Steve nodded and immediately moved to do my bidding. I sighed tiredly, leaning back and tilting my head until I bumped it against something soft. I opened my eyes to find Bucky sitting behind me with his eyes locked on me intently. His non-metal hand rested hesitantly on my shoulder in a gesture of support and I smiled, leaning back against him with a sigh. "Thanks, Bucky. You're a sweetie." Steve returned with the bandages, seeming unsurprised by the way I was leaning on Bucky. "Ta, Mate," I acknowledged, taking the bandages from him and looking down at my leg again with a frown.

"It looks swollen," Bucky commented in his almost-whisper voice, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against my elbow. "You have thin legs."  
"I have thin everything, Bucky. That's why people still think that I'm a teenager," I grumbled impatiently. "But you're right; it is swollen."  
"What do we do? We don't have any ice," Steve remarked worriedly.  
"No, but we have a Frost Giant. Loki!" I called out gently. Loki glanced over to me from where he stood looking out over the cliff edge we were set on and furrowed his brow in concern when he saw me sprawled on the ground between Bucky and Steve. I held out my hand and Loki obeyed my silent request, stalking over to me quickly and taking a knee, grabbing my hand gently. "I need your help," I told him. "I need ice." I nodded at my leg and Loki looked down at it before looking up at me with his lips thinned in displeasure.

"So you need me to be a Frost Giant again," he rumbled, tightening his grip on my hand.  
"Only a little bit," I replied sheepishly. "Please, Loki? It really hurts," I pouted. Loki shifted awkwardly, flicking his eyes over my two companions reluctantly. I pulled on Loki's hand so he bent towards me and whispered in his ear. "I let you use me as a human heat-pack; you owe me, Princeling."  
"Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the better trickster," Loki sighed so the other two heard, letting his hand turn blue and laying it against my calf softly. I flinched at the contact before sighing in relief as Loki's cool skin started soothing my injury.  
"That would be me," I hummed, responding to his earlier comment. "Remember; I manipulate people in a nice way. And for mutual benefit."

"How does this situation benefit me?" Loki challenged. I grinned at him.  
"Oh, that's easy. Secretly, you like being the hero. And now you feel better about yourself because you're helping the damsel in distress." Loki stared at me blankly for a moment before flicking his gaze up to Bucky and curling his lip aggressively. I turned my head to see Bucky staring at Loki's blue hand. I sighed, lifting my hand and covering Bucky's eyes. "Don't stare, Buck. It's rude."  
"What does that even feel like?" Steve wondered uncomfortably, also staring at Loki's hand.  
"Cold. And soft; Loki's got really lovely skin," I told him easily, latching my hand onto Loki's sleeve when he tried to pull away from me. "And it's nicer than ice because it doesn't melt."

"Of all of us, you were the only one who wasn't surprised by Loki's Jotun appearance," Thor commented, making me realise for the first time that everyone's attention was now on me and Loki's blue hand. The colour faded from his skin and Loki wrenched himself away from me forcefully, rising swiftly and gracefully to his feet and staring around at the others in defiance. "You've seen it before; haven't you?" Thor continued, looking from his brother back to me. I nodded, glancing up at Loki quickly, trying to gauge what his reaction might be.  
"A couple of times before; yes," I confirmed when Loki remained expressionless. Thor stared at me for a moment before turning his attention to Loki.  
"I'm your brother," he said, hurt playing across his features. "Why would you show Ellie and not me?"

"You're not my brother…"  
"I _am_ your brother, Loki!" Thor insisted, approaching Loki swiftly and seizing him by the shoulders, searching his eyes. "I never once thought anything else; not even when I found out what you really were. I am your brother, Loki; even if you are no longer mine. You should be able to trust me." Loki blinked at Thor in surprise, lips parted as he shook his head wordlessly.  
"Don't be too hard on him, Thor," I advised, making an attempt to stand which ended in failure as my leg gave way before I even got higher than a crouch. I whined with a mixture of pain and frustration and Loki pulled away from Thor, kneeling beside me again and laying his hand over my calf softly, letting the skin turn blue. "To me, Loki was already an alien when we met. It's easier to show how different you are to someone who already knows, I'd imagine."

"When is the first time my brother shared his Jotun form with you, Ellie?" Thor demanded, standing over me.  
"Thor, sit down; you're hurting my neck," I huffed. Thor dropped down beside me and Steve and Bucky moved away to give the three of us some degree of privacy. "Are you alright with me talking about this, Loki?" I asked softly, pushing his hair out of his face. Loki bowed his head, thin-lipped and brow furrowed and I continued. "The first time I saw Loki's Jotun form was when he was in the Chitauri dungeon," I told Thor. Thor took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.  
"And after that?" he asked hesitantly.  
"When we were with the Ides and we didn't have any anaesthetics we could use on Loki, we had to operate on him while he was conscious." Loki's frown deepened as he listened to me, clearly remembering the pain he was put through, and he laid his forehead against my scalp, shifting so he sat behind me with his chest pressed against my scapula. "Then last night, when he did this," I added, tilting my head back so Thor could see the handprint on my throat, "and today. That's all."

Thor nodded thoughtfully, looking at his brother curiously. "So… it shows when you are in pain?" Loki growled, breath tickling my ear, sliding his arm around my waist so his free hand rested against my side.  
"Only when it's extreme," I told Thor quietly. "He usually just turns a little grey." Thor nodded, standing with a sigh.  
"I'll be watching for that, Brother." Loki said nothing, turning his head to watch as Thor walked away to join the others.  
"How is your leg feeling?" Loki asked softly.  
"Better now," I smiled, laying my head against Loki's shoulder. Loki shifted so I was sitting in front of him, taking the bandage from my hand and starting to wrap my limb himself. He secured the end and sighed, sitting back and looking down at me.

"Are you all right?" I nodded, pushing myself up slowly and testing my injured leg.  
"Yep; I'm fine. Ta, Loki."  
"I don't remember you ever being so kind before," Sif remarked. Loki glared at her, standing coolly.  
"Of course you don't," he rumbled quietly… Everyone set up what they could for the night. It was cold and I sat by the little fire shivering as Steve rubbed my arm in a vain attempt to warm me up. Suddenly, Steve's arm was withdrawn from around my back and something soft and heavy was draped over my shoulders. I looked up at Loki as he arranged the folds of his cloak around me carefully. "I don't feel the cold," he murmured softly, sitting at my other side and staring into the fire. I smiled, laying my head against his shoulder until he shifted, wrapping his arm around my back so my head was on his chest. I gave Steve a reassuring look as he watched me with Loki intently, taking his hand, and turned my gaze to the fire crackling softly as my eyelids grew heavy and I slowly drifted into sleep.


	13. Fever

When I awoke the next morning I shifted uncomfortably, wondering what the weight on my body was until I opened my eyes to find myself looking at Loki's emerald linen-clad chest with his hand under his head so my head rested on his arm and his other arm draped over my ribs. I looked down at myself and followed the blue-clad arm curled over my waist to find Steve snuggled up behind me with his face pressed into my back as he snored quietly. "Good, you're awake." A whisper caught my attention and I turned my head in time to be blinded by a white flash. I scowled, rubbing my eyes and looked over to find Clint grinning at me with Sam standing behind him, camera-phone held ready. "Morning, Kid," Clint greeted.  
"Hi," I mumbled tiredly, shifting to try and free myself without waking either of the men lying beside me. As I sat up, both arms tightened their hold on me, pulling me down again.  
"I had no idea Loki was so cuddly!" Sam chuckled.

"I'm not as surprised as I should be," I sighed. I looked over to the pair of bird-men watching me and shrugged. "What do I do?" I asked.  
"Lie still and smile," Sam told me, raising his camera-phone in front of his smiling face. I frowned again as he took another picture; this time without flash.  
"Oh, I've had enough of this," I grumbled, wriggling around and sitting up quickly, startling Steve and Loki into wakefulness.  
"What is it; are we under attack?" Steve demanded, sitting up sharply and looking around.  
"No; you and Loki just wouldn't let me go," I told him, standing and hissing as my calf throbbed sharply, making me lift my foot from the ground to keep my weight from the limb. Loki and Steve glanced at each other and Loki stood quickly, his armour magically reappearing as he did.

"I think it's sweet how you let your guard down around your girlfriend," Clint mocked, half-playful half-aggressive, smirking at Loki.  
"'Tis a pity you cannot let your guard down around your little strumpet," Loki retorted bitterly, flicking his gaze over to the sleeping Natasha and back.  
"What did you just call her?" Clint demanded, stepping forward and taking his bow off his back.  
"Strumpet," Loki repeated coolly. "At least my choice has high enough standards to keep her maidenhood intact. How many men has the spider bedded merely for the sake of something to do?"  
"Well, I'm bugging out here," I decided, turning my back on the two and flicking my hands dismissively. "I'm too tired and sore for this nonsense." I limped over to the far side of the clearing where the horses were pegged and greeted Helfin affectionately, stroking his neck as I looked through my bags for an antiseptic cream and a fresh bandage.

"How dare you insult Natasha like that?!" Clint snapped, loud enough to wake most of our companions. I looked back at them over my shoulder, choosing to remain with the horses rather than getting in the middle of yet another conflict. "At least Natasha has never fathered monsters!"  
"Neither have I!" Loki snarled. There was a pause as he realised what he said and all of his anger seemed to drain away, leaving him pale and shaken.  
"Loki," Thor said softly, standing and looking his brother over closely. Loki stared straight ahead over the cliff, making no acknowledgement. "Fenrir, Jormungandr… They are yours, are they not?" Loki glanced at Thor from the corners of his eyes and slowly shook his head. Thor blinked rapidly, nodding pensively. "And Sleipnir?"  
"No," Loki murmured, looking down. "I have no children. You assumed, and I didn't correct you…"

Silence reigned for a moment until Thor broke it. "I'm sorry, Brother." Loki shook his head indifferently, stooping to retrieve his cloak from where I had slept.  
"It matters not. We should move. Pack up; it's a long way back to Asgard."  
"Does this mean we have to ride again?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably. Loki looked at me blankly and nodded.  
"Tie Helfin to Sleipnir and ride with me."  
"Alright," I agreed, sitting down to tend to my leg wound. I unwrapped the bandage and flinched as I saw the raw flesh and infected discolouration. "Loki, how long do you think it will take to get back to Asgard?"  
"A day or two, if we make good time," Loki responded distractedly. "Most likely more; the realms are unstable and we are not exactly popular at the moment."

Loki sighed and looked over at me again, frowning in concern. "Miss Carter, are you unwell?" he demanded.  
"I may be, by the end of two days," I answered. "The antiseptic seems to be ineffectual on this particular infection."  
"Was your wound infected when we left?" Loki inquired, crouching down beside me and laying his cool hand against my calf. I shook my head.  
"Not to my knowledge, no." Loki looked into my eyes seriously, concern showing in the tense set of his jaw, and I smiled, shrugging. "Don't worry yet, Loki. With a little luck, I'll be able to fight it off on my own anyway."  
"Luck hasn't been particularly favourable towards us recently, Mouse," Loki murmured. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Loki, stop darkening my optimism," I complained. I pushed Loki's hand away from my leg and set about smoothing antiseptic over the wound before binding it with a fresh bandage. As I did, Loki took Helfin's reins and tied them to Sleipnir's saddle horn. Once everyone had packed their things, they mounted. I looked up at Sleipnir, biting my lip uncertainly and Loki's long-fingered hands encircled my waist.  
"Ready?" he asked, his lips just grazing the tip of my ear. I nodded and Loki lifted me easily, setting me on Sleipnir's back side-saddle and mounting up behind me. We adjusted ourselves so my knee was over his and his arms were around my ribs, holding the reins. This meant that my side rested against his torso and I sighed, laying my head against his chest comfortably. With one final look around, Loki nudged Sleipnir forward and our group departed.

"This is a treacherous path," Loki warned me after some moments of silent riding as I chewed on some bread and cheese as a portable breakfast. I tilted my head back to look up at him, offering him a bite of my food.  
"Metaphorically, or…"  
"We shall have to go on foot in certain places," Loki elaborated, biting the sandwich in my hand.  
"Ah," I huffed, nodding around my bite of sandwich. There was another short pause until Loki swallowed his mouthful.  
"I can carry you, if you think you are unable to walk…" I clicked my tongue, shaking my head up at Loki with a smile.  
"No, Loki; I can walk. But thank you; that's very sweet of you to offer." Loki said nothing, keeping his head up and watching our surroundings.

"Really, I never knew Loki had the capacity for such gentleness…" I tilted my head, listening as Sif whispered loudly to Thor and the Warriors Three. "He was never so caring to any of us in our childhood. You must remember, Thor. We used to wonder over Loki's strange behaviours; preferring to read over hunting, avoiding our festivals and celebrations… What tricks do you think he is playing with the Midgardian? He has no respect for her people or her realm; why does he treat her so?"  
"I do not think it is a game, Sif," Thor replied in a quieter tone, obviously making more of an attempt to be discreet. "I believe Loki genuinely cares for Ellie Carter." Loki's arms tightened around my ribs briefly, and I knew he was listening as I was.

Sif snorted derisively. "He can't! That plain little child?"  
"That plain little child has been a better friend to Loki than any of us even _tried_ to be," Thor growled lowly. "We tried to change him, make him more like us; and when he didn't alter his preferences for our benefit, we mocked him… No, Sif. I do not think Loki is playing Ellie. And I think he always had the capacity to care. We just never let him." Sif scoffed again.  
"Thor, this is _Loki_ we're talking about! All he ever did was envy us and cause trouble without ever trying to improve himself…" I had heard enough and reached into my saddle bags to pull out a water bottle. Popping the top, I leaned around Loki, aimed, and sprayed water all over Sif, making her squeak in surprise. When the bottle was empty, Sif glared at me murderously and I stared back at her with a bitter curl to my lip.

"We can hear you," I grumbled, turning away again and shoving the bottle back into my bag. I felt Loki shaking and looked up to find him smiling brightly, clearly amused. Taking the reins in one hand, Loki slipped his fingers under my palm and lifted my hand, ducking his head to press a gentle kiss against my fingers before releasing me and readjusting the reins. I smiled contentedly, resting my head against Loki's chest again. After a few minutes more, Loki halted Sleipnir and the group came to a stop behind him.  
"The next portal is just on the other side of these cliffs," Loki announced. I stared at the deep canyon in front of us. There was a shallow shelf across the divide against the face of another cliff that towered above us. Loki dismounted and reached up to put his hands around my waist and gently bring me down from the horse.

"You've known Sleipnir longer than you've known me; if this rock gives way, which one of us would you choose to teleport to safety?" I asked Loki, holding onto his arms and staring up into his eyes nervously. Loki said nothing, rolling his eyes and freeing himself from my grasp. "You're not filling me with confidence here, Princeling," I drawled as he unfastened Helfin and held the reins out to me. Loki sighed, standing over me.  
"I do not wish to tempt fate with postulation, Mouse," he murmured, brushing his thumb across my temple to push a lock of hair out of my face.  
"Fair enough," I acknowledged, bowing my head. Everyone dismounted and we started to ease our way across the rock shelf. Steve was at the fore, followed by Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Sam, Bruce, Loki, me, Sif, Thor, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg; each of us leading a horse.

I had my back pinned to the cliff behind, shuffling along in an awkward sort of crabwalk. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Bruce were on the other side of the pass and I had just passed the halfway point when a shudder went through the stone and everyone froze. Turning my head, I looked down at the cracks spreading out from beside my back foot, past Helfin's hooves to Sif and her mount. Swallowing tensely, I pulled Helfin forward slowly and held his reins out to Loki. "Take him; keep moving," I ordered lowly. Loki shook his head.  
"Ellie…"  
"Take the horse, Loki," I hissed aggressively. Loki huffed, staring at me and accepting Helfin's reins, slowly drawing him and Sleipnir away and leading them safely to the other side. I looked back at Sif and held out my hand. "Pass me the reins," I said quietly. Sif carefully drew her horse along, pausing every time the stone trembled, and finally managed to pass the reins to me.

I pulled the horse along carefully and held the reins out to Loki, who had stepped forward to take them. He led the horse to the other side again and I stepped away from the cracks. Sif took a cautious step and a few loose pebbles fell from the edge of the shelf. The cracks spread further again, stretching out to meet my feet and Thor's on the other side of Sif. Sif shifted her weight to take another step and the rock gave way. "Sif!" I screamed, throwing myself forward to land on my front as my fingers tangled with the Asgardian's. I cried out as Sif's weight caught on my arm and she shouted as her side slammed into the cliff wall. I stretched out my other arm to take her wrist and Sif's free hand wrapped around my wrist. I whimpered as her heavier frame started dragging me forward through the spilt. "Help, help, help…" I pleaded softly.

Suddenly, there was a weight pressing down on my legs and arms curled around my waist as another figure moved at the edge of my vision on the other side of the break. Meaty hands wrapped around mine and Sif's and I sighed in relief as some of her weight was taken from me. Slowly, the arms around my waist started pulling me backwards and the hands moved further down Sif's arms as she was lifted higher until they could grab her forearms and pull her up. Our fingers were pulled apart, and I was suddenly hauled back so I was sitting on the edge of the gap with Loki's arms encircling me tightly as he sat back against the cliff face. I looked up to find Sif sitting at the edge of the break in front of Thor, panting as heavily as I was. Green light engulfed my vision and I was suddenly sitting safely on the other side of the crevasse, still held in Loki's arms. "Go back," Loki called out to Thor and the rest still on the other side. The group started shuffling back and Loki stood, lifting me to my feet and turning me to face him, cupping my face in both his hands. "Are you hurt?"

"Only a little; I'll be fine," I responded softly, experiencing the familiar tingling feeling of excess adrenalin leaving the bloodstream. Loki nodded and released me, turning to watch as Thor pulled Sif back to the other edge of the crevasse. When they were safely on the other side, Loki vanished, reappearing next to Thor and Sif.  
"Sif," Loki said softly and held out his arms to her. She shifted uneasily, frowning, and Loki thinned his lips in displeasure. "I will take you across the divide," he added. With a glance back at Thor, Sif stepped forward and Loki turned her back to him and slipped his arms around her shoulders. They disappeared, materialising beside me. Without a word, Sif broke out of Loki's loose hold and threw her arms around my neck, holding me tightly. I was startled, to say the least, but after a moment, I put my arms around her ribs, smiling. Loki watched us with an undecipherable expression before teleporting back to the other side again.

Sif pulled away from me with a warm smile and we both turned to watch as Loki brought the horses across one by one before bringing Volstagg, Thor, Hogun, and lastly Fandral across. As soon as Loki released Fandral he stumbled, falling to one knee and pressing his knuckles against the earth, breathing heavily. Thor took a step towards his brother, but I darted forward quicker, kneeling in front of Loki as he trembled with exhaustion, skin pallid and shining with a light sweat. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he sat back on his heels, shaking his head. "Not your skin," he told me huskily.  
"What does he mean?" Thor asked, taking a knee beside us both. Loki flicked his gaze up to Thor's face coolly and I replied.  
"When his energy has been drained through magic, he'll siphon someone else's if their skin touches his. He's taken some of mine before; during the battle in Miami." Loki lowered his head again, frowning uncomfortably and pressing his hands against the ground again.

Thor sighed, holding his hand out to Loki. Loki looked at the offered hand before raising his eyes to meet Thor's guardedly. "Take my energy, Brother," Thor said softly. Loki shook his head, curling his lip slightly in bitterness. "Brother, please; let me help you," Thor pressed. When Loki looked unconvinced, I rolled my eyes impatiently.  
"Loki, you either take Thor's energy now, or I give you mine whether you want it or not." Loki gripped Thor's hand suddenly and Thor flinched, staring at Loki as he climbed fluidly to his feet, standing over Thor and looking down on him blankly. I stood and Sif approached behind me, clearly intending to separate them. I put my hand out to stop her, taking her wrist. She looked at me anxiously and I shook my head.

"Loki won't hurt him," I assured her quietly. Sure enough, it was only moments later that Loki released his grip on Thor and turned away, looking down. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye coolly.  
"Satisfied?" he asked lowly.  
"Quite," I confirmed casually, releasing my hold on Sif and crossing my arms. "Where do we go now?"  
"Mount up and follow me," Loki commanded quietly, walking over to Sleipnir. The others all did as they were instructed without complaint and I looked up at Helfin's saddle, biting my lip nervously. A gentle hand touched my shoulder and I looked up to find Steve smiling at me warmly.  
"Ride with me," he said. I sighed in relief and smiled, nodding.

"Thanks, Cap," I agreed, following him and leading Helfin as Loki mounted quickly and turned Sleipnir away, nudging him on. The group fell in quickly and I hurriedly tied Helfin to Steve's horse's saddle horn as he spurred him to follow. Loki led us into a small hollow in the ground where he and Sleipnir both vanished through the portal. We all followed and found ourselves in a vast, red canyon blurred with smoke and flickering with flame.  
"This is Muspelheim. Be cautious; this place is crawling with fire demons," Loki warned us. "If Heimdall won't collect us, it means that they must be nearby…" Our convoy continued to wind its way slowly through the maze of natural stone, the heat making me exceedingly uncomfortable as my hair was soon plastered to my neck and I kept needing to peel myself away from Steve.

Dusk fell and Loki pulled Sleipnir up. "There is still about a day's travel to go from here; we should camp for the night," he informed us. As soon as I slipped off the horse's back, I sat down and held my face in my hands, breathing deeply. I was awfully hot and it was making me feel rather nauseated and my head ached terribly. "Ellie, are you okay?" Steve asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off immediately, squirming away from him.  
"Too hot," I panted, pulling my hair up over my head away from my neck. My leg throbbed and I bit my lip, sliding off my boot and pushing up my pant leg and sliding down the bandage to examine the inflamed wound with its oozing yellow pus. I swallowed tensely and covered it quickly before anyone else saw it.

A fire pit was found and everyone gathered, passing food around. Bucky, sitting beside me, held out a piece of jerky to me and I shook my head, declining the offer. "You've hardly eaten today, Ellie," he said in his whisper-voice.  
"I don't want any food, Bucky," I insisted quietly. Bucky peered at me closely, frowning with anxiety.  
"You look flushed," he told me, leaning over so he could press his non-metal hand against my forehead. I pulled away from him and had to put my hand out to brace myself when the motion made my head spin.  
"Ellie, what's wrong?" Bruce asked, squeezing my shoulder. I pushed his hand away.

"I'm just too hot, that's all," I explained, blinking rapidly. "Could I have some water, please?" I asked softly.  
"Of course," Bruce said, waving to one of the others. While he waited for the water, he shifted towards me and pressed his hand against my forehead, grabbing my arm to hold me still when I tried to back away from his touch. "Ellie, you have a fever," he told me quietly, sliding his hand down to my neck.  
"It's too hot," I complained, pushing at Bruce's hands. "Go away; it's too hot and my head hurts."

"Ellie, you're not well," Bruce told me in his gentle, soothing voice. "Here; I have your water." I took the bottle from Bruce's hand eagerly with both of mine and gulped the contents quickly, pouring the last remnants over my head. "Ellie, I need you to tell me what's wrong," Bruce pushed.  
"I'm fine; I'm just too hot," I sighed, panting and looking up into Bruce's eyes from under my eyelashes.  
"Check her leg," Loki ordered sharply from his place on the other side of the fire.  
"Right; of course," Bruce agreed, reaching out to me again. I slapped his hand away, hissing and baring my teeth at him.  
"I said I'm fine!" I snarled aggressively. "Just leave me alone!"  
"Ellie, please. I'm trying to help you…"

"I don't care," I squeaked, bowing my head and grabbing at my scalp, whimpering.  
"Check her leg," Loki repeated in a low, dangerous voice I hadn't heard in a long time. I glanced up at him past my arm and he stared into my eyes sternly. "Don't fight, Miss Carter." I glared at him resentfully, baring my teeth at him aggressively and growling. Bruce carefully slipped one hand behind my knee and the other under my ankle and eased my leg out straight onto his lap. I winced, sitting back, and watching as he pushed my pant leg up to reveal the wound. He took a startled breath, looking up at me with wide eyes and a worried frown.  
"El, why didn't you say anything?" he wondered softly.  
"I'm fine," I snapped.  
"No, you aren't," Bruce refuted. "This is a serious infection. Loki, we need to get Ellie somewhere where she can be taken care of; given antibiotics and saline and so on."

Loki nodded, standing. "The next bridge takes us to Midgard," he informed us. "Heimdall can take us from there. Pack up; it will take several hours to get there."  
"Is it safe to travel at night?" Sam asked. Loki glared at him coldly.  
"No, it is not. But if the doctor believes that Miss Carter is in danger, we shall have to brave the darkness and hope that nothing untoward happens on our way."  
"I'm fine; I just need some sleep," I argued, curling up on my side with my arm over my head, whimpering quietly at the pain.  
"That's right, El. You go to sleep, and we'll let you know when we're ready to go," Bruce soothed, patting my side. I pushed his hand away clumsily.

"Don't touch me; it's too hot," I groaned, wondering why the others didn't seem to understand my discomfort. I was hovering on the edge of slumber when a hand touched my shoulder and I flinched away from the contact, struggling to blink my eyes open.  
"Ellie, we have to leave now," Thor told me gently.  
"Okay, bye," I sighed, closing my eyes again.  
"No, Little Warrior; you need to come with us," he said, putting his hands around my arms and pulling me into a sitting position. I frowned, trying to pull away.  
"Thor, it's too hot to go anywhere," I grumbled. Thor smiled at me sympathetically.  
"I know, but we have an important journey to make." I sighed, nodding, and Thor lifted me to my feet, keeping his paws locked around my arms to support me.

"I'm so tired," I mumbled, blinking rapidly to try and clear the fog from my mind.  
"Ride with me," Loki said, touching my shoulder softly. I shrugged him off, shaking my head.  
"No, it's too hot," I denied plainly.  
"You cannot ride alone," Loki told me firmly, scooping me up bridal-style and setting me on Sleipnir's back. I whined unhappily, trying to push him away weakly as he mounted behind me and put his arms around me. "Let's go," Loki ordered, and Sleipnir started moving.  
"Let go of me," I hissed, trying to wriggle out of Loki's clutches. In response, his arms tightened around me, holding me against his torso. "No! Loki, it's too hot!" I complained, pushing at the leather sticking to my side.

Suddenly, the armour vanished in a ripple of green light, leaving less uncomfortable green linen. I stopped fighting for a moment until that material started to heat up against me, too, and I struggled again. "Loki, go away!" I snarled, trying to push him back from me. The linen vanished, and I found my hands pressed against something cold and soft and blue. I leaned into the cold automatically and sighed in relief, wrapping my arms around it and laying my face against it as it soothed my aching head and eased my nausea. I hummed contentedly, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep. I woke again when there was a rough jolting and I whimpered as a hollow feeling gripped my insides for a moment. The cold surface I was leaning against moved, and I felt myself falling until two cold bands wrapped around me under my shoulders and knees. There was a quick to-and-fro motion and a slight breeze against my face until I was laid down on something soft and Loki's voice was talking sharply.

"Fix her. She is useful, and I want her back in working order." I was lifted again and plunged into what felt like water, but it burned with cold and I squealed, trying to fight my way out. When my shoulders were pressed down I screamed, trying to claw at the restraints get away from the stinging. I was picked up again and wrapped in something soft before being placed on a flat surface and held down again while my calf was split open again and scraped out and burned with something sticky and I cried, unable to help myself. Finally, something sharp bit into the side of my neck and numbness spread through me, blacking out my vision and stopping the pain.


	14. There Will Be War

When I opened my eyes, all I could see were fuzzy blobs of colour and light. After a few moments of blinking and eye rubbing, my sight cleared and I found myself in an Asgardian bedchamber… the same chamber I had occupied before we left for Jotunheim. I stretched, cracking my joints and my spine, before pushing off the covers. I was dressed in the clothes I had travelled in, but they smelled as if they had been dunked in soapy water along with me. My skin felt clean, although there was a lingering numbness throughout my body. My throat was stinging and I realised that I was extremely thirsty. I clambered awkwardly out of the bed and flinched when my calf protested slightly. I limped over to the door and opened it, stepping out to find a familiar blonde figure seated in a chair beside the door. "Steve?" Steve looked up at me, wide-eyed, and jumped to his feet, pulling me into a tight embrace.  
"Ellie, thank god you're alright," he sighed heavily, cupping the back of my head in his hand and rubbing my scalp. I blinked, startled by the uncharacteristically flamboyant display of affection, patting his back hesitantly.

"Um… yeah… I'm okay… Are you?" Steve pulled back from me with a warm smile, nodding.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, Ellie."  
"Ellie?" Steve stepped aside to reveal Bruce standing in the hallway behind him. I smiled at him with an awkward little wave.  
"Hi, Bruce- Oh!" I gasped as the usually reserved doctor threw his arms around my shoulders, curling his fingers in my tangled hair.  
"We thought we'd lost you," Bruce whispered. I thought about that, frowning as I petted Bruce's shoulder. I concentrated on the jumbled memories I had of recent events and sighed.  
"It was the infection, wasn't it? I took a fever." Bruce pulled back from me and nodded, peering at me closely.  
"What do you remember?" he asked seriously.

"I remember experiences more than actual events, but I think I can piece it together. I noticed that my leg was infected in the morning, when Loki was bickering with Clint, but there wasn't anything I could do about it, so I just put antiseptic on it and wrapped it up. Then there was the whole cliff debacle, and Steve let me ride with him into Muspelheim… I think that's when the fever set in; I remember being unbearably hot and you wouldn't leave me alone… Then you told Loki that I needed medical care, and I fell asleep while you all packed up the camp… I rode with Loki after that… He used his Jotun form for me, didn't he?" I blinked at the two Avengers curiously and they nodded solemnly. "I fell asleep while I was riding with him… And then I'm guessing we took the Bifrost here, and Loki carried me to the healers who put me in an ice bath and cleaned my leg again… They tranq'd me, didn't they?" I asked, rubbing the sore spot on the side of my neck.  
"Yes, they put you under," Bruce confirmed.

"It was the best way to give you a deep sleep in order to facilitate healing." I glanced over my shoulder at the deep voice and smiled.  
"Hello, Thor."  
"Ellie," Thor greeted, striding forward and taking my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs across the backs gently. "You had us worried for you, Little Warrior." I shifted awkwardly, lowering my gaze to the floor.  
"I'm sorry; I did not want anyone to worry over me."  
"Why not?" I glanced up as Tony came walking down the corridor with his hands shoved into his pockets. "You never stop worrying about the rest of us; it seems only fair that we should take a turn."

Tony came to a stop beside me as Thor released my hands and smiled at me affectionately. "We've taken you for granted before, Kid. Not gonna happen again. How're you feeling?"  
"Better," I replied, grinning.  
"That's my girl," Tony drawled approvingly, ruffling my hair.  
"Oh, good. You're awake." I blinked in surprise as Sif approached us with a kind smile, holding a tray in her hands.  
"Hi, Sif," I greeted uncertainly.  
"The healers told me that you would awaken soon; I thought you might be thirsty." Sif held out the tray towards me and I took the glass of water immediately, quickly sculling the drink.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," I sighed, refilling the glass from the pitcher on the tray and smiling at Sif gratefully before sipping the water.

"You are most welcome," Sif acknowledged, placing her hand on my shoulder and squeezing softly.  
"So how long was I out for this time?" I inquired.  
"A day and a half, or thereabouts," Steve told me.  
"Right; I need a bath," I decided, finishing my water.  
"It has been prepared for you," Sif told me, turning. "Come with me." I blinked in surprise again, nodding.  
"Oh. Right; thank you." I followed Sif as she walked away, falling into step beside her with a final glance back at the Avengers outside my room. "So… are we good now?" I asked.  
"I think we've always been good; isn't that the point of your Avengers?" Sif responded with a confused frown.

"No, I mean you and me," I explained. "Since we started off… Well, I suppose we started off with a strong dislike of each other."  
"Because you are strong, for a Midgardian, and intelligent, and I couldn't understand why someone like you, with the moral compass I was sure you must have, could be so fond of… someone like Loki Laufeyson." Sif glanced at me from the corner of her eye hesitantly, gauging my reaction. I nodded slowly, chewing my lip pensively.  
"Yes, I see your point," I acknowledged.  
"Do you?" a low, soft voice inquired and Sif and I halted, turning to face Loki where he stood on a balcony overlooking the palace. Loki flicked his bright green gaze over Sif briefly before trailing them along me and fixing his eyes on mine. I sighed, rolling my eyes and pushing my hair back.

"Come on, Loki," I groaned tiredly. "We all know how dangerous you are; you have to understand how that looks."  
"Oh, I do," Loki confirmed, stepping inside and standing in front of us with his hands folded before him, looking down on me with a mocking sympathy. "Of course I understand, Little Mouse. I'm sure everyone wonders what someone as good, kind and loyal as you are can see in someone as treacherous, manipulative and sinister as I." Loki started walking forward slowly, smirking at me with that predatory edge to his movements and expression that I had thought he no longer felt the need to use on me. "The answer is very simple, though." Loki halted right in front of me, towering over me, and wrapped his hand around my jaw, holding me tightly. "I am useful to you," Loki hissed sharply, flashing his teeth at me. He released me, stepping away with a condescending smirk when Sif tried to land a blow on him, and vanished.

There was a pause as I drew a deep breath through my nose before I put my hands over my eyes, shaking my head. "And now he hates me again," I grumbled.  
"Oh, let him," Sif huffed dismissively. "Whatever else he may be, Loki is no fool. He knows better than to harm you when you have such powerful friends."  
"That would be perfectly acceptable, apart from the fact that I _like_ Loki, Sif," I contradicted, dropping my hands and tilting my head back. Sif sighed at me, giving me a look of bemused sympathy.  
"Well… I daresay you will set everything to rights again. But after you take a bath." I smiled at Sif tiredly and she returned it genuinely, guiding me down the hallway again.

"Hi, Bucky," I greeted, smiling as I caught up to the Winter Soldier in the corridor after I had washed and dressed in a deep green Asgardian gown.  
"Ellie, I'm glad you're alright," Bucky murmured softly. His brow furrowed slightly as he stared at me. "You seem troubled." I sighed tiredly, taking Bucky's metal arm in mine and walking along with him slowly. He rolled his wrist awkwardly, but I ignored it.  
"Yes. Loki is upset with me, so I need to go and set things straight again… He's a lot of trouble, that boy."  
"Then why bother?" Bucky asked simply. I blinked up at him, huffing an incredulous laugh.  
"Because he's mine, Bucky! Loki is mine, same as the rest of you."

"What does it take to become one of 'yours'?" he wondered. I smiled, looking down and shrugging.  
"I don't know. I suppose they just have to speak to my soul." We passed by the throne room and I heard Loki's voice growling at a servant. I sighed again, releasing Bucky's arm and smiling at him wistfully. "I have to go in. I'll see you later, Buck." I slipped inside the throne room and stood by the door as Loki paced in frustration in front of the throne steps. "Loki." Loki glanced up at me sharply and narrowed his eyes, looking back at the serving girl cowering before him.  
"You are dismissed." The girl fled and I watched her go before turning reproachful eyes on Loki.  
"What was that for?" I demanded. "You frightened the poor thing."  
"I frighten many people, Mouse. I have a reputation," Loki drawled indifferently, stalking up the steps and lowering himself fluidly onto the throne.

"Yes; I know," I agreed lowly, striding forward into the middle of the room and crossing my arms. Loki stared down at me blankly.  
"What do you want?" he demanded coolly.  
"I want to talk to you," I said, stepping closer towards the throne. Loki tilted his head.  
"About what?"  
"You know what," I growled. "You're upset with me." Loki smirked again patronisingly.  
"Now, why would I be upset with you, my dear?" he purred menacingly.  
"Because you heard me agreeing with Sif about you." Loki nodded shortly, casting his eyes away from me disinterestedly.

"I will admit that I was… a little surprised to see you engaging so well with Sif, given your previous relationship."  
"Seems she is grateful to me for saving her life," I hummed. Loki looked at me from the corner of his eye. I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes. "Loki, listen to me. Do I think you're dangerous? Yes, absolutely. I have the scars to prove you are, and you nearly succeeded in taking over my planet. But do I think you're evil? No; not even remotely. You've protected me far too well for me to believe that." Loki snorted dismissively, looking away again. "Loki, please. We've been through this before; you know how I feel about you."  
"I thought I did; but you've played me before."  
"Yeah, well I never know exactly where I stand with you either, Princeling; so I don't know what you're sulking about," I snapped impatiently.

Loki curled his lip, looking down at me harshly. "You needed help, Miss Carter, and you fought me," he hissed accusingly. I blinked in surprise, shaking my head.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"When we were travelling back from Jotunheim, and you contracted that infection. I was trying to help you, and you pushed me away." I quirked a brow at that.  
"And how many times have you pushed me away, Loki? Both literally and figuratively," I challenged.  
"You were Thor's friend; I didn't know that I could trust you… I thought you trusted me…" Loki's stare was bitter and resentful and I sighed again, shaking my head.

"I do trust you, Loki. I pushed everyone away… The truth is; I don't have your dangerous reputation. I constantly struggle to prove myself to everyone, including you! And you and the Avengers have so many troubles; I can't afford to show any weakness. I can't need anyone; I'm here to help _you_. So I'm sorry that I didn't cry out for you in my sickness, Loki … But I'm doing the best I can here." There was silence for a moment as Loki examined me from the corner of his eye, his fingers resting against his lips thoughtfully. Finally, he sighed, standing and descending the steps, passing by me to stop before the windows and look out over the kingdom. I hissed at his disregard of me, snarling. "What more do you want from me, Loki? I will not kneel to you."  
"I do not want you to kneel, Miss Carter," Loki rumbled quietly, refusing to look at me. "If that is what you believe, then you cannot hold me in the same regard that you hold your Avengers. And you never have."

"Is that what you think?" I gasped, gobsmacked. "Loki, can you truly not see how fond I am of you?" Loki said nothing, staring out of the window, and I growled, stamping my foot. "Dammit, Loki!" I screeched, finally drawing his gaze. I shook my head at him, frowning sadly and breathing shakily. "How many more times must you break my heart before you are satisfied?" I asked softly. I turned on my heel and stalked towards the door with my head held high in defiance.  
"There will be war." I halted just in front of the door and turned my head, listening to Loki's low voice. "The Jotuns, Chitauri, probably more besides," he continued. I turned to face him and found him looking out of the window again, standing tensely. "This… This is not what I wanted. Everything has fallen apart…"

"Well, that's what happens when you use lies and deceit to get your way," I drawled unsympathetically, pacing to the centre of the room and folding my arms again. Loki huffed a bitter laugh, shrugging.  
"And now you are angry with me for being upset, but I don't know what you expect of me. It's not as if I've ever done this before…" That tugged at my bleeding heart and I sighed resignedly, closing the distance between us and slipping my arms around Loki, laying my cheek against his back as his hand folded over mine automatically, drawing my hand across his abdomen to his stomach.  
"I expect you to accept my gestures of affection for what they are," I murmured. "I expect you to understand that I am not particularly demonstrative and I prefer to be left alone when unwell… I expect you to have a little faith in me, Loki. I deserve that."

"No," Loki mumbled. I tilted my head back to examine him curiously, but he continued to avoid eye contact. "You deserve more than that, Mouse. You deserve a hero." I laughed softly, shrugging.  
"So be a hero." Loki swallowed, bowing his head.  
"I don't know how," he breathed. I smiled at him warmly.  
"Yes you do," I replied. "Use your infamous intellect to find a way out of this mess. I know you can." Loki sighed, turning and putting an arm around my shoulders, stroking my hair with the other hand.  
"I will try, Mouse. But there will be war nonetheless…"


	15. Battle Plan

"Heimdall reports that The Chitauri are using their vessels to transport our enemies' armies to Asgard," Loki said. The Avengers, Sif and the Warrior's Three were all gathered around a table sporting a holographic map of Asgard in the throne room. Loki stood on the bottom step to the throne at the head of the table, and I sat on the table beside him, looking over the map curiously. "At the moment, we expect to be facing the Chitauri, Jotuns, residents of Nornheim and Fire Demons from Muspelheim, but there will likely be more once the realms learn that we are at war."  
"Have we a strategy?" Thor inquired. Loki grimaced bitterly, exhaling audibly.  
"Not exactly. It will depend on how our enemies arrange themselves. Ideally, we will send small teams whilst the battle rages to eliminate their leaderships, but we cannot really form any specific plans until we know what we are fighting against."

"Well, if that is the case, then we shall have to decide what areas of Asgard we should fortify," Sif suggested. Loki narrowed his eyes at the warrior woman and she stared back at him coolly.  
"We must, of course, keep the treasure vault defended; it will not do to allow our enemies to gain access to further weaponry that could be used against us," Loki stated, pointing to one of the red spots on the holograph. "And the palace will be the most easily defended place in Asgard; though we cannot trust the loyalties of all the civilians. I am not the only trickster in the realm." Sif and the Warrior's Three made disbelieving scoffing sounds and Loki looked at them with a cold, sharp smirk and darkly amused green eyes. "I am the best; I am not the only," he purred unsettlingly. "I believe that we should make the grounds before the palace the battlefield. We will have places for archers and long-distance fighters on the balconies and other vantage points, and due to the landscape, we should be able to contain the damage reasonably well. I would propose that we send those who are not gifted in the arts of war or healing to the outskirts of the city and use concealment spells to hide them. Then we can attract our enemies' attention by positioning our army before the palace."

Loki sighed heavily, leaning on the edge of the table. "There is, however, another issue to consider. We shall be drastically outnumbered. I know our people can manage multiple attackers, but the odds are against us."  
"We've still got some Shield people on hand, right?" I asked, looking over to Steve, who I knew would probably have the best knowledge on the subject.  
"We do; yes," he confirmed.  
"And if the legendary Captain America put out a call for aid, do you think we could haul 'em over here?" I inquired. Steve shifted awkwardly, but he nodded.  
"Yes; I think I could get a few people out here…"  
"Great; you should do that."  
"What about that Ides place?" Tony asked me. I shook my head.

"The Ides put me in prison, Tony. I'm not exactly in their good books here," I denied.  
"If we can get more people to fill in our armies, our chances may be improved," Loki hummed pensively.  
"I'll head back to Earth and put the call out," Steve decided, looking at Loki seriously. Loki met his eyes and nodded.  
"I would appreciate that," he agreed.  
"So, where will we all be in this battle? What are our positions, Loki?" Natasha inquired. Loki quirked a brow in mild surprise.  
"You would allow me to direct you? Do you not fear that I may try to have you eliminated?"

"I don't think anyone was really worried about that until you said it out loud and proved that you were thinking about it," I sighed exasperatedly, tilting my head back lazily and closing my eyes with a slight frown. Loki chuckled softly.  
"Oh, you know I'm always thinking about that; I'm the trickster," Loki rumbled quietly, brushing his hand over my neck, which still bore his mark, and sliding my hair back. I swallowed nervously, looking at him uncertainly. Since our return to Asgard, he had been acting most strange, and I wasn't sure whether or not he meant to harm me now… "But it would not be beneficial, so you are in no danger from me," Loki continued smoothly, pulling his hand away from me and turning his attention back to the map. I slowly covered my throat with my hand, clearing it awkwardly and watching as Loki detailed his ideas to the others.

"Since they possess the skills for subtlety, I thought it would be wise to place the three assassins in guard of the civilians, along with a few of the palace guards. The Warriors Three should be placed in defence of the treasure room; we cannot have our enemies getting hold of any of the weapons contained within. Thor should take the command of the main army, and the Soldier should lead what fighters you may get from Midgard… The Hulk may fight where he will…" I ducked my head to hide my amused smile and Loki gave me a light, backhanded smack against my thigh without missing a beat, "and the man with the wings and the Man of Iron should do what they can to defend against aerial attack." I crossed my arms, listening thoughtfully.  
"And where does that leave you?" Steve wondered.

"I will take a small group and make an attempt to take down the enemies' leadership. I believe that Sif should do the same." Sif nodded, apparently having no qualms with her placement. Loki started marking everyone's places on the map, leaning over the holograph, and I leaned in with him, subtly pressing my fingers into the side of his belly. His breathing hitched and he jammed the thumb of his free hand into my injured calf painfully, making me shift and pull back.  
"And Ellie?" Sam asked.  
"Miss Carter may be placed with the warriors providing cover from the palace." I quirked my brow at Loki.  
"Okay, here's a question: Why?" I asked.  
"Because you are small, injured and weak and I do not want you anywhere where you may prove to be a distraction," Loki told me in a clipped voice, looking at me with a stern expression.

"Hmm…" I hummed, narrowing my eyes at him.  
"And what does that mean?" he huffed impatiently.  
"It means we'll see," I replied cryptically. Loki snorted dismissively, straightening.  
"That is all that I am able to report currently. I will inform you of any further developments. In the meantime; if you would return to Midgard and summon your forces, I think it would be wise, Captain," Loki announced, addressing first everyone, then Steve alone.  
"Steve; can you make sure to bring back more guns and ammunitions, please? If there is to be a battle, I'll need as many of those as I can carry."  
"Of course, El. I'll bring them to you myself," Steve confirmed obligingly.  
"Thanks, Cap," I acknowledged, smiling at him gratefully.

"That is all for this meeting, unless anyone has any further questions or comments," Loki stated. I put my hand up and Loki lifted a brow at me quizzically.  
"Can I braid your hair?" I asked cheerfully. Loki clicked his tongue in mild irritation and looked around at the others.  
"Any _serious_ questions or comments?" he invited. When no one said anything, he nodded and swiped his hand across the table. "Make your preparations."  
"Actually, I do have a serious question," I said, making everyone pause.  
"No; you may not braid my hair!" Loki snapped angrily, curling his lip up over his sharp teeth viciously and glowering at me sharply.

"While that is disappointing; it doesn't answer my question," I hummed; crossing my legs so my toes just nudged Loki's hip. He took a subtle step away from the touch and tilted his head inquisitively. "Why can't I go to destroy enemy command? I'm just as stealthy as you are, and probably more so than Sif; no offence intended," I added, holding my hand out to the warrior woman in placation. Sif shook her head, shrugging casually.  
"None taken; you are correct," she replied. I nodded and looked back at Loki calmly, awaiting his response.  
"You are injured; your abilities are limited," Loki retorted plainly.  
"I think you and I need to speak privately," I told him smoothly. Loki narrowed his eyes at me, thinning his lips unhappily, but he inclined his head.

"As you wish."  
"Kid, is there something you're not telling us? Because you know you can trust us, right?" Tony asked, walking over and putting his arm around my shoulders supportively.  
"Oh, you know all there is to know about me," I assured him. "I'm a Hufflepuff; honesty comes with the territory," I added, shrugging.  
"Then what are you hiding?" Steve wondered, looking over at Loki suspiciously. I smiled at the captain sweetly.  
"I keep your secrets; what makes you think I'm going to tell you his?" I laughed pointedly.  
"Are you in danger?" Thor asked, stepping closer to me and Loki.

"We're all in danger, Thor. But I'm not afraid of Loki; if that's what concerns you," I told him placidly. Thor glanced between me and Loki, scrutinising us both intently before he nodded, satisfied with his inspection, and left, followed by Sif and the Warriors Three. The Avengers were slower to leave, trailing out in a sluggish line until Tony was the last left. He gave me one last affectionate squeeze and let me go, leaving the room and closing the large doors behind himself. Before I had the chance to turn back to Loki, his fist was in my hair, pulling on the roots hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to rip any out, and he tilted my head back, standing over me and glaring down his nose at me.  
"What are you playing at, Mouse? Hurting me while we are in the middle of a battle plan? Are you trying to anger me? For if so; you are succeeding most strongly and you mayn't wish you had."

"I was making a point, Princeling!" I hissed in return, lashing out and running my nails down the side of his neck. He flinched, pulling back from me in surprise, and I broke his hold on me, stepping back and clenching my fists. Loki touched his fingers to his neck where I'd scratched him and I rolled my eyes, snorting. "You're not bleeding. Now, can we talk, or are you in one of your moods?" I asked lowly.  
"I don't have 'moods,'" Loki scoffed, lowering his hand. I smirked at him knowingly.  
"Yes you do," I disagreed, slowly stepping closer to him. "You're as tempestuous as I am," I said, stopping within arm's reach of him and looking up at him confidently. Loki looked at me from the corners of his eyes darkly for a moment before laughing softly; breaking the tension he had held.  
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked softly, crossing his arms casually and putting most of his weight on one foot in a relaxed manner. I sighed, looking down and rubbing at my scalp. Defusing Loki's wrath was a challenge I was used to; this next one could be problematic.

"I want to talk about your condition," I said softly.  
"My condition," Loki echoed expressionlessly.  
"Your stomach problems," I elaborated. Loki growled in expression of his displeasure, but he didn't interrupt me. "I'm worried about you, Loki."  
"You needn't be," he told me quietly, but with a slight edge to his tone.  
"Then you needn't be concerned about me," I responded quickly, looking up at him. Loki shook his head, not moving from his casual position in spite of the now tense set of his shoulders.

"That's not the same," he rumbled lowly.  
"How so?" I challenged, lifting a brow and crossing my arms.  
"I have strength and magic that you do not possess," he reminded me firmly. "I will not be a distraction to anyone." I smiled bitterly at that, shaking my head.  
"You really don't know me, do you?" I drawled. "Do you honestly think I'm going to be able to concentrate knowing that you're out there, risking your life behind enemy lines with a weakness that none of your allies are aware of, while I'm locked away; the princess in your tower?"  
"Providing cover for your allies doesn't thrill you enough; is that it?" Loki asked, lifting a brow at me challengingly. I scowled, shaking my head.  
"No; I'd much rather be watching your back myself. Put me in your squad, Loki. I'm a big girl- figuratively speaking- I can handle it."

"And what of your leg?"  
"And what of your gut?" I retorted impatiently. "I can bind my leg and take some painkillers and all will be well enough," I continued. "What about you, Loki? How will you protect your soft, white underbelly?"  
"I have managed well enough so far; no one else has noticed my weakness…"  
"No one else cares the way I do," I interrupted sharply. Loki sighed, but he didn't deny me. "You need someone to look out for you, Princeling." Loki shook his head quickly, straightening his posture and lowering his arms.  
"Don't tell the others," he ordered. I quirked a brow again, miffed.  
"Loki, I already told you that your pride would be your death…" Loki shook his head in denial.

"No, it won't. If Thor finds out that I am not… _wholly_ healed, he will worry and become distracted. He cannot know, Ellie. You can't tell the others…" Loki fell silent, staring down at me intensely as he waited for my response. Finally, I took a deep breath and sighed.  
"So instead of your pride, you won't let your vulnerability be known to protect _Thor_?" I summarised. Loki nodded silently, watching me closely, trying to gauge my reaction. I clicked my tongue, pressing my fingers against my forehead and wincing. "You need help, Loki," I muttered. "You can't go out there by yourself."  
"I'll have a team with me," Loki murmured, tucking my hair behind my ear and sliding his fingers under my jaw to tilt my face up.

"They won't know you like I do," I argued, dropping my hand and looking into Loki's blue-green eyes unswervingly. Loki hesitated for a moment and sighed.  
"If I do not take you by my side, you will follow at my back, won't you?" I smiled slightly.  
"Hm; perhaps you do know me after all," I purred. Loki huffed resignedly and nodded.  
"Very well; I will take you on my team."  
"Wonderful," I remarked smugly before lowering my head again and massaging the bridge of my nose and the edges of my eye sockets.  
"What's wrong?" Loki demanded softly, taking my elbow in his hand and laying the other on my shoulder.

"Headache," I grumbled. "I'm still chasing off the last of this infection. I could probably use a nap."  
"Come; I will escort you to your chambers," Loki told me, sliding his arm around my back and gently guiding me from the room and down the hallways. "It seems as though you may still have a slight fever," he commented quietly, laying his cool hand against my forehead. I sighed, pressing my face further into his palm.  
"I think I'm still burning the last of the medication off, too," I hummed. Loki opened the door to my bedroom and led me over to the bed. I lay down on top of the blankets and Loki kindly shut the heavy velvet curtains to shut out the light for me before walking over to the door.

"Loki." Loki paused, turning his face to me with his hand on the doorknob. "Will you sit with me a while? I think you could use a break, too." Loki stared at me, running his tongue over his bottom lip absentmindedly as he thought before he closed the door and walked over to me, moving to the end and crawling up the bed to sit beside me against the bedhead, armour vanishing. My bed sank under his weight, making me slide towards him and I sighed, shifting awkwardly as I tried to find a comfortable position. Loki's arms twined under mine and he hefted me up so I was lying with my head cushioned against his chest and his arm curled around me to cradle my torso supportively. I smiled, looking up at Loki and he smiled faintly. I let my head fall again, shutting my eyes, and felt Loki's body chill suddenly against my warm skin. I cracked my eyes open as Loki started stroking my hair gently and found my sight blocked by his blue arm. I smiled again, stretching my arm across his abdomen and laying my hand over the line of scar tissue I could feel under his tunic. Loki sighed comfortably and started humming softly, sending me quickly into slumber as his voice vibrated against my ear.

A light tapping sound brought me to the edge of consciousness and Loki hissed, "Quiet! Miss Carter is sleeping!" There was a click and a creak as the door opened and I heard Steve's voice, low and warning.  
"What are you doing with her?"  
"After our conversation, Miss Carter expressed a desire to take a nap. I escorted her here, made sure she was comfortable, and I was going to leave, but she asked me to stay with her. What are you doing here?"  
"You're not the only one who cares about Ellie," Steve growled, his voice sounding closer. "I came to check on her. What did you talk about?"  
"Never you mind," Loki rumbled quietly, his thumb brushing over my cheek softly. His skin wasn't cold anymore. "What is said between Miss Carter and myself is none of your concern."

"It is, actually," Steve argued. "Ellie is one of us. She was my friend before she was yours, and if she has managed to convince you to allow her to take a place on the frontlines, I should know about it."  
"Miss Carter will be joining my team and helping me to take down the enemies' command," Loki told Steve shortly, his arm tightening around my back, pulling me more firmly against his side. I squeaked softly, shifting and stretching. Loki hushed me, patting my side soothingly. "Sleep, Little Mouse," he whispered. I hummed, settling again. But I was listening.  
"You're taking her into the danger," Steve growled at Loki accusingly. "Have you no heart at all? She's just a girl." I felt Loki shaking as he replied.  
"I did not bring her here," Loki stated lowly, his deep voice menacing and cold. "I did not ask her to come; you brought Miss Carter here. I would have been perfectly happy for her to be kept safe and sound in her own realm, far away from here… If you had not brought her here; I would have left her alone."

"And what would you then?" I asked, my voice grating with sleep. I cleared my throat, stretching again, and rolled onto my back, blinking my eyes open to look at Loki with a sigh. Loki looked down at me blankly and I smiled slightly. "What would you have done if I had not come at Thor's call? What would have become of you?" Loki thinned his lips, flicking his eyes away from me.  
"I imagine that I would either be trapped in Asgard's dungeons, or slain by your Avengers."  
"And Asgard?" I prodded.  
"Unprepared and undefended; Asgard would fall to the invaders." I nodded, satisfied, and turned my face to Steve, smiling sleepily.

"Hello, Steve. Was there something you needed?" I asked, slowly sitting up on the edge of my bed, stretching again. Steve shook his head.  
"No; I just came to make sure you were well, and to tell you that I'm leaving for Earth now." I stood up immediately and wrapped my arms around his torso, smiling as his arms folded around my back automatically.  
"Good luck, Steve," I murmured.  
"I'll be back soon, El," he replied, scratching through my curls. I hummed contentedly, tilting my head so he scratched closer to my neck, making him chuckle. We disentangled ourselves from each other, and with a final smile, Steve was gone. I sighed, rubbing at my eyes, and Loki's hands rested gently on my shoulders.  
"So it starts…" I mumbled, covering his fingers with my hands and squeezing softly.


	16. Theme Songs

There was a knock on my door as I tied a ribbon around my head as a headband to keep my hair out of my face. "It's open," I called. Natasha opened the door and stuck her head through.  
"They're here," she announced and I quickly followed her out of the palace to wait on the steps as the new group made their way along the rainbow bridge into the city. I smiled, waving at Steve as he approached and he waved back, a sack thrown across his broad shoulders. As they got closer, I picked out a couple of familiar figures and squealed excitedly, loping down the stair to meet them. I jumped and was caught by Phillips easily as he chuckled softly, swinging me from side to side before setting me down. Eric grabbed my arm and tugged me to him, kissing my scalp and slinging his arm over my shoulders.  
"Everything okay, El?" Eric asked brightly. "Captain America told us you'd had a bit of a rough time lately."  
"I got stabbed through the leg; no big deal," I responded casually.

"You got an infection and nearly died, Ellie; don't make light of it," Steve called over his shoulder and I rolled my eyes.  
"Yes, Captain," I groaned.  
"And this is why we should never go to war without our partners," Phillips sighed.  
"Me partner or him partner?" I asked, pointing to Eric.  
"Eric's not my partner; he's my husband," Phillips retorted, pushing my face playfully as I gasped.  
"So you actually tied the knot?! Why wasn't I invited? I hooked you up in the first place!"  
"Well, we would have invited you," Phillips drawled, "but there is no postal service to Asgard."

"Aww, I missed it!" I complained, stamping my foot. "That sucks! You have to tell me all about it, though. Where it was, what the ceremony was like, how sexy and stylish you both looked; everything!"  
"When all this nonsense is over and we can all go home, we'll tell you every girly detail, alright, Missy?" Eric said and I nodded, beaming happily.  
"'Kay," I agreed.  
"Ellie?" I started at the familiar yet unexpected voice and looked around until I caught sight of a blonde woman looking at me in surprise.  
"Sharon!" I exclaimed, freeing myself from Eric's grip and throwing my arms around her as she laughed, quickly hugging me back. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever! How are you, Cuz?"

"I'm fine; I had no idea you'd be here! When you weren't at the summoning, I figured you'd got out!"  
"Nah; I've been playing with the Big Kids for years now. Thor came and got me when all this trouble started."  
"Indeed I did!" Thor declared, smiling at me. "Is this a friend of yours?"  
"This is my kinda-sorta cousin. She's also one of Peggy's great-nieces. Our grandmothers were sisters, so… yeah…" Sharon laughed softly and I shook my head, smiling.  
"You never told me that," Steve mumbled, glancing at Sharon quickly.  
"Couldn't find the right time to bring it up," she responded apologetically. Steve grunted, walking away, and Sharon and I exchanged a 'look' before she went after him.

"So, if Thor came and got you, are you the Ellie I've been hearing so much about?" I looked at the woman standing beside Thor with caramel eyes and nutty brown hair and a bag through which several scientific-looking devices were poking out and beamed.  
"Oh my gosh; are you Jane?" I asked excitedly. Jane nodded, smiling back at me and I laughed happily. "Wow; it's so good to finally meet you! Thor's told me so much about you!"  
"Aw, well, it's good to meet you, too," Jane responded, stepping forward to hug me. "Thor tells me that you and Loki are very close," she continued, pulling back again. I hummed uncertainly.  
"It's complicated," I sighed. "Speaking of, though… Hi, Loki!" I called as the aforementioned trickster descended the stairs to meet us. He ignored me, focusing instead on Jane.  
"Jane Foster; I did not know that you would be joining us," he drawled.

"Loki," she replied before laying a quick slap across his face. "That was for faking your death," she growled before stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his torso. "And this is for saving our lives." I stared in pleased shock as Loki stood stiffly with a resigned look on his face and Thor smiled affectionately at the two.  
"Thor?"  
"Mm?"  
"I love your sweetheart. If you don't keep her; I will," I informed him. Loki flicked his gaze over to me with an unimpressed look and Thor laughed.  
"I assure you, Little Warrior, I have every intention of keeping my beloved Jane."  
"Awww!" I cooed, folding my hands over my chest. "That's so sweet! Loki; why don't you ever say adorable things like that about me?"

"I should have destroyed the Bifrost," Loki sighed heavily, running his hand over his hair and looking out into space wearily as I giggled. "Thor; make your woman release me."  
"Jane; let go of Loki," I said with a laugh, putting my hand on her shoulder. She smiled, pulling away from him.  
"Right; where can we set up? By the way, Ellie, these are Dr Eric Selvig, Darcy and Ian." I nodded to Jane's three companions and Thor whisked them all away to do whatever scientific things they were going to do.  
"She seems brilliant," I remarked happily. Loki hummed noncommittally and I grinned. "You like her, don't you?" I questioned knowingly, nudging him with my shoulder. Loki looked down at me and smirked.  
"I do find her quite amusing; yes," he admitted. "But she is Thor's woman. We are not friends." I hesitated before speaking again.

"You know I'm Thor's friend, right?" I asked, and Loki nodded. "And I'm your friend too, am I not?"  
"I like to think so," Loki murmured, looking me over searchingly. I shook my head.  
"No, Loki. I know where your thoughts lead you. Don't think; feel," I insisted, twining one arm with his and laying my hand against his chest. "I am your friend, aren't I?" I prodded, tilting my head and staring into Loki's eyes intently. Loki's expression softened and he lifted his hand to my face, scratching through the curls behind my ear.  
"Yes, My Dear. I do believe you are."  
"Good."  
"Do you count me as your friend?" Loki wondered curiously and I grinned.  
"Of course I do; you're one of my boys," I informed him cheerfully and he chuckled softly, shaking his head.  
"You are so strange," he sighed, looking away again and sobering as he examined the troops Steve had enticed to our cause.

"Not as many as I would have wished for," he mumbled, his hand covering mine where it curled in the crook of his arm. "But anything to swell our numbers."  
"Shield has fallen," I said softly. "There are few we can trust now."  
"Trust is a luxury I cannot afford," Loki rumbled quietly, curling his lip slightly.  
"Then you no longer trust me?" I inquired. Loki glanced down at me again and I met his gaze steadily. "It would explain a few things; you haven't been the same since I developed a friendship with Sif."  
"Sif despises me," Loki snarled, crushing my hand and making me wince. "She never liked me. All our lives, from childhood, we were always competing; always vying for attention… for respect… for affection… And she always won. Anything I had, she took from me. My brother, my father, my so-called friends…" I looked at Loki nervously as his manner shifted to the aggressive, calculatingly enraged being I had known once before; when we had tried to kill each other… in another life… "She would poison you against me…" he growled lowly. I shook my head.

"Only you could do that," I replied softly. Loki blinked in surprise, releasing his hold on my hand as that dangerous energy fell away from him as suddenly as it had re-emerged. I slipped my arm from his and walked away without another glance, calling out, "Steve, Sharon! Wait for me!" as I followed the pair. They turned and I smiled as I caught up to them, falling into step with them happily. "So, I take it that the two of you have met afore now," I said.  
"She was my neighbour," Steve huffed. "She told me she was a nurse."  
"Shield assigned me to watch over him," Sharon explained. "Before everything fell apart." I frowned at that.  
"I'm a little insulted that they didn't ask me," I grumbled, pouting slightly.  
"You went home to Australia," Steve reminded me gently. I shrugged.  
"You know I would have come back if you needed me, Steve. All you had to do was call."

"Yeah. To be honest; I wish I'd remembered that when we were out looking for Bucky… Things probably would have gone a lot smoother with you around." I looked Steve over contemplatively for a moment.  
"Someday you're going to have to tell me what happened when I was away," I sighed.  
"Someday I will," he promised. "Here; this is for you," Steve continued, taking the sack off his shoulder and holding it out to me. I took it and looked inside before grinning.  
"Oh, yeah. These should last for a while," I cooed excitedly, taking a handgun from the bag and examining it. "Thanks, Cap."  
"I told you I'd bring them to you myself," Steve said, patting me on the back.  
"You're a sweetie," I told him, hugging his arm.

I retreated to my room with my iPod and decided to entertain myself by choosing theme songs for the Avengers and Loki. I was flicking through songs when Tony appeared in my doorway. "What are you doing, Kid?" he asked, amusement plain in his countenance.  
"I'm choosing theme songs for you," I told him. "I've already got yours."  
"Oh, yeah? What's that?" I grinned at Tony and shifted through my songs until 'I'm sexy and I Know It' started pulsing through the room. Tony laughed, nodding. "Sure; I can get behind this," he agreed, moving to the music. Before I knew it, he was giving me my own little private show, dancing and singing along to his new theme song while I laughed happily. Although, I did have to stop him when he started stripping. The song ended and Tony chuckled, tossing his shirt onto my bed and shoving his hands into his pockets. "What else you got?" he wondered.  
"I've got Loki's."  
"You've got Loki's what?" Loki asked, leaning on the doorframe casually and giving Tony a quizzical look when he noticed his lack of shirt.

"I've got your theme song."  
"Theme song?" Loki echoed, lifting a brow. I nodded.  
"Yeah. The song that best describes you," I said, flicking through my songs. Fall Out Boy started playing and Loki listened closely as I started singing along clearly. "I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words… This ain't a scene, it's a god damn arms race… I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress." The chorus came up and I started jumping around enthusiastically, waving my arms about and shaking my hair while Tony laughed at me and Loki smirked, brow furrowed in slight befuddlement. "I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate, oh so intrica-a-ate, ye-eah! I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate, oh so intrica-a-ate, ye-eah!" I stopped jumping around and grinned at Loki cheerfully. "You can't argue with that, Princeling," I told him.  
"No, I suppose not," Loki agreed, inclining his head coolly.  
"Who else have you got?" Tony asked. I looked at him and shook my head, pressing my hands against my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I can't concentrate with your nipples staring at me," I laughed.  
"Well, I can't say that I blame you," Tony responded, flexing his pectoral muscles. I squealed, knocking my palm against my forehead and Loki rolled his eyes, waving his hand as green light rippled over his fingers. Tony's shirt reappeared on his torso.  
"That's enough of that," Loki reprimanded. Tony snorted, crossing his arms.  
"You're just jealous because I made Ellie go all girly." Loki lifted a brow again and smirked.  
"Well, we'll see which one of us can stir Ellie most," he purred, stalking over to me slowly and cupping my cheek in his hand. I looked into his eyes, swallowing nervously, and he winked before his armour and undershirt vanished, leaving him with a bare torso.  
"Aaah…" I breathed, starting to get a little overwhelmed while Tony watched on closely, scowling.

"I know, My Dear," Loki rumbled sympathetically, taking my hand and laying it against his abdomen as he stepped closer, bowing his head over mine and pressing his chest against my shoulder, tucking my hair behind my ear and trailing his fingers down my spine to my hips. "Once you've seen me in my undershorts, anything less is a little disappointing, but with your friend here as well…"  
"Hey, keep your pants on and let the girl go," Tony growled. Loki chuckled, breath tickling my ear and raising the hairs on my neck as he backed away, clothes thankfully reappearing. I stood frozen, skin prickling as I shivered.  
"Not to worry, Stark. I know how to treat a lady," Loki snickered, looking me over. I blinked rapidly and Tony tilted his head, frowning in concern.  
"El, you okay?"  
"Can you both just keep your clothes on, please?" I whispered.  
"I think we broke her," Tony hissed, glancing back at Loki.

"Have you tried turning her off and back on again?" Loki drawled disinterestedly. Tony glared, taking a step towards Loki.  
"Reindeer Games, I swear, if you've done something to her, the whole team will come down on you; your brother included."  
"I have never touched Miss Carter in any way immodest, Stark. That's your specialty."  
"Not with Ellie, it isn't," Tony denied.  
"Then you don't find Miss Carter attractive?" Loki challenged mischievously.  
"Of course I do; she's gorgeous! But she's not my type. Now, can we go back to discussing theme songs?"

"Oh, good grief; yes!" I sighed in relief, turning back to my iPod. "Well, Steve comes with his own theme song anyway," I giggled, playing the Captain America song. "Bruce gets an Imagine Dragons song," I added, finding the song and singing along with it. "When the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold. When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all and the blood's run stale. I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you. But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come; this is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide; it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide; it's where my demons hide. At the curtain's call, it's the last of all. When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you made. Don't wanna let you down but I am hell bound. Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come; this is my kingdom come…"

I sighed at the somewhat mournful lyrics and shrugged. "One of my ambitions is to help Bruce find a happier theme song. But for now, it fits."  
"Who else?" Tony asked.  
"I think Bucky's is Phoenix, from Fall Out Boy again." I put on the song and sang along again. "Put on your war paint. You are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down. Strike a match and I'll burn you to the ground. We are the jack-o'-lanterns in July setting fire to the sky. He-ere comes, this rising tide. So, come on! Put on your war paint. Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope-to-dies. Silver clouds with grey linings. So we can take the world back from a heart attack. One maniac at a time, we will take it back. You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start, so dance alone to the beat of your heart. Hey, Young Blood! Doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix, then I'll raise you like a phoenix! Wearing our vintage misery. No, I think it looked a little better on me. I'm gonna change you like a remix, then I'll raise you like a phoenix! Bring home the boys and scrap scrap metal the tanks. Get hitched; make a career out of robbing banks because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks. You broke our spirit is the note we pass… The war is won before it's begun. Release the doves; surrender love! Wave the white flag… Hey, Young Blood! Doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix, then I'll raise you like a phoenix! Wearing our vintage misery. No, I think it looked a little better on me. I'm gonna change you like a remix, then I'll raise you like a phoenix! Put on your war paint!"

"You're right; that sounds like Bucky," Tony agreed.  
"I think Natasha's is 'Become the Beast' by Karliene," I hummed thoughtfully, finding the song and playing it. "I've always been the hunter; nothing on my tail, but there was something in you, I knew, can make that change. To capture a predator, you can't remain the prey. You have to become an equal in every way. So look in the mirror; tell me, who do you see? Is it still you or is it me? Become the beast; we don't have to hide. Do I terrify you? Do you feel alive? Do you feel the hunger? Does it howl inside? Does it terrify you? Do you feel alive? Splinters of my soul cut through your skin and burrow within, burrow within. Splinters of my soul cut through your skin and burrow within, burrow within…"  
"Sinister," Tony remarked, nodding thoughtfully.

"Clint would be 'I'm Alive' off the Black Butler anime," I continued, finding the song. "Nothing I say comes out right. I can't love without a fight. No-one ever knows my name. When I pray for sun, it rains. I'm so sick of wasting time but nothing's moving in my mind. Inspiration can't be found. I get up and fall but I'm alive, I'm alive! Oh yeah. Between the good and bad, that's where you'll find me; reaching for heaven. I will fight and I'll sleep when I die. I'll live my life; I'm alive!"  
"Yeah, I get that for Legolas," Tony agreed.  
"Thor can have 'Coming Home,'" I decided, flicking through to Skylar Grey and waiting until the chorus to sing along. "And the blood will dry underneath my nails. And the wind will rise up to fill my sails. So you can doubt and you can hate, but I know no matter what it takes I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home…"

"Seriously? For Thor?" Tony asked sceptically. I smiled at him sagely.  
"You don't know Thor the way I do any more than he knows you the way I do," I told him.  
"Alright," Tony conceded, inclining his head. "Alright, I get it. You're the group confidante."  
"I don't remember signing up for that gig, but okay," I drawled, scrolling through my music list. "I still haven't decided on one for Sam yet, and I've been considering Sif and the Three, too. I mean, Sif has got to be 'Fight Like a Girl,' but I'm not sure about the others. I'll find something eventually, though."  
"And your song?" Loki wondered quietly. I smiled wistfully, scrolling down my list and clicking 'The Call.'

"It started out as a feeling which then grew into a hope which then turned into a quiet thought which then turned into a quiet word. And then that word grew louder and louder 'til it was a battle cry. I'll come back when you call me. No need to say goodbye. Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friend are as you head off to the war. Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light. You'll come back when it's over. No need to say goodbye. You'll come back when it's over. No need to say goodbye. Now we're back to the beginning, it's just a feeling and no one knows yet. But just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget. Let your memories grow stronger and stronger 'til they're before your eyes. You'll come back when they call you. No need to say goodbye. You'll come back when they call you. No need to say goodbye…"

"Well," Tony huffed after a moment. "I'm glad you came back, El. Get some rest; things are just heating up." I nodded.  
"I know." Tony smiled, clapping me on the shoulder and heading for the door. He looked at Loki sternly and Loki narrowed his eyes at Tony, walking over to me and putting his hand on my shoulder, facing his back to Tony.  
"You know I was only teasing you, don't you, Mouse?" he checked quietly. I nodded again and Loki smiled, sliding his hand down my arm as he turned away and left with Tony, closing the door behind himself.


	17. Time's Up

There was a light knock at my door and I sat up, rubbing my foggy eyes. "Come in," I invited. The door opened and Bucky stepped soundlessly into the room, shutting the door behind himself. I sighed, propping the pillow up behind my back and patting the bed next to me. Bucky accepted my offer, moving quickly across the room and climbing onto the bed beside me, looking down at me with that conflicted expression on his face. "When you're ready, Buck," I told him, taking his metal hand in mine with a smile and leaning my head sideways against the bedhead. Bucky's fingers curled around mine and he stared down at our interlocked hands blankly for a few moments. Finally, he drew a deep breath and spoke in his usual whisper-voice.  
"How did you adapt? How did you go from person, to weapon, and back again?"  
"I never lost myself," I told him plainly, drawing his gaze to mine. "They never took that from me. You were… You were unmade, Bucky. You couldn't even recognise the people you loved. I always knew where my heart was; the question was whether I should follow my heart or my orders."

Bucky nodded slowly, looking away as he mulled that over. "How is Steve?" he asked. "Is he still worried about me?"  
"Of course," I responded. "But he's fine, Bucky. He trusts you, you know."  
"I'm not certain that that is wise," Bucky almost growled, scowling down at our hands, twisting his wrist so the moonlight reflected off the metal ridges.  
"At the moment, are you fighting any impulses to kill me?" I challenged and Bucky blinked up at me in surprise, shaking his head.  
"No."  
"Would you have killed me before?" Bucky swallowed and nodded. "Would you have hesitated?"  
"No," he confessed, bowing his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Would you kill me now?" I pushed. Bucky shook his head quickly without lifting it.  
"No; I… I couldn't."  
"Then I think you're adapting just fine," I assured the soldier, lifting my free hand to pat his back. "You can't expect it to be smooth sailing, considering what you've been through."  
"You don't know what I've been through," Bucky rumbled bitterly, looking up at me darkly.  
"Would you like to tell me?" I asked. Bucky swallowed again, frowning indecisively. "You don't have to, if you would prefer I didn't know," I reminded him gently, smiling warmly.  
"They wiped my mind," Bucky blurted hurriedly, as if afraid that he'd lose his courage and be unable to confide in me. "They electrocuted me until everything went blank… I didn't even know my own name… And I didn't care."

"And not caring is the worst part," I murmured understandingly. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath, nodding, eyes narrowed in distress. "Hydra is a cruel beast, Bucky," I soothed, tucking his hair behind his ear and squeezing his hand. "I have never been unmade, but I know what it is like to question _everything_. We've all had our identity crises; some worse than others. Loki, for example. Finding out that he was adopted from another race; a race generally viewed as monsters. My crisis came when I realised that I would never have the things I wanted; I'd never have magic, I'd never be important, I couldn't even save myself, let alone anyone else…"  
"But that's not true," Bucky protested, frowning at me worriedly. "You are important. You're important to Steve. You have saved lives. Maybe you don't have magic, but you do have worth." I smiled.  
"Exactly. If everything can change for me, don't you think things could be different for you, if you let them?"

Bucky fell silent for a few moments before shrugging, shaking his head. "I don't know how," he whispered faintly. I smiled at him, taking my hand from his and putting my arms around his shoulders, resting my forehead in the curve of his neck.  
"Just follow your heart. Your brain can be confused; believe me, I know that. But your heart remembers, Bucky. You remember Steve, and how much you cared for each other. So just focus on him. He'll keep you straight, Buck."  
"But I don't want him to worry more than he does already," Bucky sighed, tilting his head back against the wall.  
"You don't have to tell him about this, Bucky," I pointed out gently, sitting back again. "Just follow him." Bucky's lips twitched and his eyes lightened as soft crinkles appeared in the corners.  
"That skinny kid from Brooklyn. I'll follow him." I grinned, shrugging.  
"Well, he's always led me right."

Bucky's mouth curved into a small, but genuine smile and he nodded to me respectfully. "Thank you, Ellie. This was helpful."  
"Well, I hope so," I yawned, scrubbing at my eyes again. "I'm amazed that anything I just said actually made sense, to be honest." Bucky huffed a faint laugh and stood, walking around the bed again.  
"Goodnight, Ellie," he bid me softly.  
"Goodnight, Bucky. Sweet dreams," I wished him in return. Bucky hesitated a moment before bending to press a soft kiss to my forehead and leaving quickly. "Well, that was unexpected," I muttered to myself as I once again snuggled down under my blankets, shutting my eyes with a weary sigh and letting myself relax.

I was awoken during the night by the sound of a table being bumped, followed by a muffled grunt. Footsteps padded away outside my door and I closed my eyes again only to reopen them when the footsteps came back. I listened to the pacing down the corridor for a few moments before deciding to get up and investigate. I opened my bedroom door and stood in the frame, waiting. The hallway was dark and a figure was making its way towards me through the shadows. When it was close enough, I recognised the person and sighed. "Bruce." The scientist jumped, blinking up at me. "Why are you not abed?"  
"I'm just… a little nervous," Bruce admitted, shrugging. I clicked my tongue, pushing my door open wider, and jerked my head.  
"Get in the bed," I commanded. "You're going to sleep whether you want to or not."  
"No, Ellie. I couldn't disturb you…"

"I'm already disturbed, now get in the bed or I'm going with you to yours. I don't trust you to go back and get some sleep without supervision; you and Tony both have self-destructive tendencies, which I'm assuming are a side-effect of genius… I'm cold now, Bruce. Get in the bed." After a slight hesitation, Bruce obeyed my demand, walking into my room and slipping under the doona, leaving the sheets underneath to me. I climbed into my bed again and curling my arm with Bruce's to keep him in place.  
"Are you sure about this, Ellie?" he wondered.  
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I muttered in response.  
"No, no. You're fine."  
"Then I'm sure; now go to sleep!" I huffed, burying further into my blankets.  
"Goodnight, Pet," Bruce mumbled, scratching my scalp.

"Oh, so I'm 'Pet' now, am I?" I asked, smiling in amusement.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think…"  
"No, I like it. I'll add it to the list."  
"List?" Bruce echoed curiously. I nodded against my pillow.  
"My list of names. I'm Steve and Tasha's 'El', Thor's 'Little Warrior', Clint and Tony's 'Kid', Loki's 'Little Mouse', and now your 'Pet'."  
"I didn't realise that we all had such different ways of calling you," Bruce murmured, chuckling softly. I hummed lightly. "Goodnight, Pet," he repeated quietly.

When I woke up the next morning, Bruce was sprawled out on his back next to me with his mouth slightly open and his arm over his eyes. I smiled, releasing his arm and getting out of my bed, grabbing a dress from my drawers and leaving to go to the bathroom, running a bath for myself and rejoicing over the fact that Norse Gods do have indoor plumbing. I cleaned myself up, washing my hair, and dried off quickly, dressing in my deep blue-green Asgardian gown. When I went back into the bedchamber, Bruce was still fast asleep and I smiled, leaving to find some breakfast. I found the Avengers in a little dining room near our bedchambers and joined them, sitting in between Steve and Sam. Moments later, a plate of ham, eggs and toast was set before me by a completely silent Bucky. I smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Bucky. You're a sweetie." Bucky nodded to me and went to fetch his own food from the set-up at the end of the room.  
"So, any news on when we can expect our enemies to arrive here?" Sam asked, munching through his own breakfast.

"Shouldn't we wait for Bruce and maybe the Warriors and Sif to get here before we start discussing this?" Tony suggested.  
"And Loki, since he's probably the most informed of us here," I added, staring at Tony pointedly. Tony snorted, rolling his eyes and sipping his drink. "But you'll probably be waiting a while for Bruce to make an appearance."  
"Why? Where is he?" Natasha inquired, nibbling on a piece of toast.  
"My room." There was a loud cough and we all turned to look at Thor as he patted himself on the chest, putting down his dripping cup.  
"Sorry," he rasped, shaking his head. "I was shocked. I had thought that *cough* you and Loki were *cough* developing a more intimate relationship. I had not realised *cough* that Banner had already claimed your affections *cough cough*."

I quirked a brow at that, propping my cheek on my fist and narrowing my eyes wearily. "I'm not intimate with Bruce. Aside from the fact that I don't want the Hulk to make an appearance in my bedroom, I'm not intimate with anyone. But he was nervously pacing in the hallway outside our rooms last night, so I forced him into bed to make him get some bloody sleep! And he's still there, because I was right and he needed it. And I'm grumpy today because I was woken up by people twice last night and I'm tired; so unless you really need to know something, don't ask me any questions today. I will hurt you."  
"Fair enough," Sam said, sliding his teacup towards me. "You clearly need this more than me."  
"I do; thank you," I agreed, taking the offered drink and taking a gulp of the refreshing brew. It was then that Loki appeared in the doorway, his face grim, and stood there until we were all looking at him. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "How long have we got?" I groaned.

"A day; they'll be here by nightfall. We must commence the evacuation of the civilians," Loki announced quietly… As the sun set, I was standing on a balcony, looking out over the realm as dark ships started flowing in from the sky. Loki entered my peripheral vision and we both stood silently, watching the enemy figures begin to swarm through the deserted streets of the city, searching. Suddenly, the small bands of soldiers we had positioned throughout the land started to engage, encouraging the enemies to move towards the palace grounds; where we wanted them.  
"When do we start?" I asked lowly, not turning my gaze away from the approaching armies. Loki sighed, running his hand over his head.  
"We wait until your Captain makes his charge. Then we move out while the enemy is preoccupied." I nodded my understanding and caught Loki examining me from the corner of my eye. "You don't have to do this, Mouse," he murmured gently. I smirked faintly, shaking my head.

"Yes I do," I replied softly. Loki sighed again, leaning forward against the balcony railing and I looked at him, lifting my brows in slight surprise. Loki's long, dark hair was pulled back severely in a thick ponytail at the centre of his scalp. I grinned and Loki glanced at me, frowning in confusion.  
"What is it?" he asked.  
"You look great with your hair pulled back like that. Are you sure you won't let me braid it?" Loki's lips twitched and he rubbed his eyes with his fingers.  
"Perhaps I will someday."  
"Someday," I echoed wistfully, looking out at the darkness before us as the archers around us started firing. "I hope so." Loki straightened, hesitantly putting his arm around my shoulders, and I tilted my head, resting it against his chest as I watched the warring figures below.


	18. Casualties

"We should prepare ourselves," Loki remarked, taking a deep breath. I nodded against his chest.  
"Aye; we should," I agreed. Loki sighed, patting my ribs.  
"Come." We broke apart and I followed him from the balcony down to the ground level and into the small room where we'd stored out gear. Sif was there already, running a whetstone down the blades of her double-ended sword-staff thing. She inclined her head seriously as Loki and I entered and I nodded to her, moving across to my gun belts. There, on the table before me, was my earpiece. Loki and Sif both received earpieces themselves; courtesy of Tony Stark. I started buckling my gun and ammo belts about my person; two around my hips with one gun each and multiple clips hung from them; two over my shoulders, one gun each, lined with clips; two guns in my boots, clips wound on leather straps around my thighs.

With a sigh, I settled the belts around my body and activated my earpiece. "Carter: Online," I announced plainly, pulling on my clawed gloves with a sense of reassurance.  
"Hey, Kid. Welcome to the Thunderdome!"  
"Trust you to open with a sassy remark, Stark," I snorted, rolling my eyes.  
"Loki: Online."  
"Sif: Online," Sif echoed uncertainly. I glanced over at the other two, fully equipped and ready for war, and a wisp of song ran through my mind.  
 _'Drink with me to days gone by. Can it be you fear to die?'_ I shook my head as a voice sounded in my ear.  
"Just in time; we're making our charge now."

"Which one's that?" Sif asked.  
"Captain America," I told her.  
"We should go and collect the others in our groups," Loki sighed, making his last dagger vanish. I nodded, leading the others out of the room to the small side door at the back of the palace where the other ready sneaks were waiting. Phillips approached me immediately, looking me over with a regretful, caring smile.  
"You've always looked so much smaller covered in guns," he remarked, running one of my twin braids through his fingers.  
"Only because you're used to seeing them on hulking man-mountains like yourself," I retorted playfully, grinning and shoving at his chest with my palm. "Where's Eric?"

"He's on a balcony with a sniper rifle and barrels of bullets," Phillips informed me.  
"He's not coming with us? He's one of my most trusted companions," I hummed in puzzlement, half addressing Phillips and half addressing Loki.  
"He is not one of mine," Loki rumbled. "As I understand it; he is not your partner, either. This one refused to let you go without him." Phillips and Loki stared at each other, and while I was not entirely certain what passed between them, I am reasonably sure that it contained a mutual respect for the other's fighting prowess and desire to watch over me. I rolled my eyes again, shaking my head.  
"Sif, do you ever have problems with the men wanting to look after you in battle?" I asked, looking at the warrior woman as she organised her troops.

Sif glanced over to me before lifting her eyes to the ceiling pensively. "Yes; I suppose the Three do tend to watch my back more than each other's… but they know better than to let it take over or get in my way."  
"Huh. Wonder why."  
"Natural instincts?" Sif suggested with a shrug. I smiled slightly, inclining my head.  
"Perhaps," I agreed.  
"Are we all ready?" Loki inquired sternly, his eyes scanning over everyone in the room. We all separated into our groups; mine being led by Loki and the other by Sif. "Good." Loki waved his hand and the door opened silently. We all filed out, keeping low to the ground, and with a nod to Sif, Loki took us out into the streets of Asgard, Sif and her group going in the opposite direction.

The fighting was loud; there was screaming, and creatures roaring, and explosions, gunfire, metal clashing. It reminded me of the battle in Miami, only so much more. "Like as not; if they have means of communication, the main command will be at the edge of the realm, far from the fighting," Loki commented as we made our way through the streets, occasionally picking off stragglers. "However, the second level of command directly responsible for the positioning of troops will be closer to the battlefield. The question is whether it will be more effective to take out the overall command, or the closer command."  
"Who's to say they won't have back-ups for the closer command should something happen to them?" Sif's voice replied over the comms. "We should go for the real leaders."  
"I had thought so," Loki agreed. "But I think we could cause some real damage to the enemies faster if we took out their middle men."

"Why don't we do both?" I asked. "Go for the middle men first, then head on out to the top dogs?"  
"What happens if the middle men alert the 'top dogs', as you put it?" Loki challenged.  
"Like as not, they'll think we're just trying to cut things off there. So, we leave people to cause trouble for the middle men, and take our elite off to finish the real powers that be." Loki glanced at me from the corner of his eye, stabbing what I think was a Nornheim-whatsit in the face as it approached him from a side street.  
"Her theory is not invalid, Loki," Sif remarked.  
"Thank you, Sif," I said, smiling.  
"Sometimes I think you're a lot smarter than people give you credit for," Phillips commented from his place at my right. I frowned at him.

"That's only because people confuse not caring with not knowing," I grumbled, annoyed.  
"I have always thought Miss Carter's high level of intelligence rather self-evident," Loki drawled, turning down another street. I brightened again.  
"Thank you, Loki."  
"Turning here," he announced, gesturing for our group to take a street that led in the direction of the battlefield. "We will attack the second level of command, then split our groups and continue to the main command, as Miss Carter suggested."  
"Understood," Sif replied. "Turning here." We all turned off our earpieces once communication ceased. As we approached the battlefield, the sounds of fighting grew louder, punctuated with the deep booming that signified the impact of a large projectile. As we crept swiftly along a street running parallel to the battlefield, I caught glimpses between the buildings. The once pristine grounds had already been churned to blood-blackened dirt and debris.

I spotted Tony and Sam both flying overhead, shooting at the enemy, and there was a flash of lightning not far from where we were which was a clear indicator of Thor's presence. "Should we ask those already active in battle if they know where the command is?" I asked Loki. Loki pressed his earpiece.  
"Can anyone see where the orders are coming from?" he asked quickly. There was a slight echo in my own piece.  
"What, can't you use some sort of freaky magic trick to find out?" Tony huffed.  
"I could use one to crash your suit," Loki retorted aggressively. "You are not so important to my plans that I am unwilling to sacrifice you, Stark."  
Tony snorted. "If you did that, Ellie would kick your ass. Wouldn't you, Kid?"  
"I doubt that I could if I wanted to, without taking him by surprise," I responded. "But I would certainly be very choked up if he killed you. Not like I'd cry or anything, but still."

"Gee, thanks, Sweetheart. You made my day," Tony drawled.  
"Seriously, though; where should we be heading?" I asked sternly.  
"There's some sort of set up to the north of the palace," Sam cut in. "Looks like the orders are coming out from there, judging from the little scouting people around it. There are a few ships that seem to be serving as their army tents."  
"Ta, Falcon. That's helpful," I acknowledged.  
"Any time, Sweetie."  
"Sif, did you get that?" Loki demanded.  
"Yes; heading north," Sif confirmed.  
"Good," Loki stated before pressing his earpiece. I did the same, sighing.

"Well, this is going to be fun," I muttered sarcastically. We skittered along the edge of the battlefield as projectiles flew, dirt was scattered and blood was shed. I had all of my focus on keeping up with the group, avoiding obstacles and reaching the metallic ships I could see before us that I couldn't tell you precisely what happened. I can tell you that it was loud, muddy and I received injuries that I don't even remember getting. We made it to the ships and broke inside. Both Loki and Phillips entered in front of me, and I stuck close to my partner, protecting his back.  
"Stay behind us, Carter. You're our cover," Loki informed me as we rushed into the hallways, picking off the soldiers that confronted us there.  
"Not my first fight, Loki. You don't have to walk me through this," I growled impatiently, shooting an unfamiliar creature coming up on Phillips's left while he took out the one on his right. Loki glanced at me quickly before turning his focus on our surroundings again.

The next few moments consisted of Loki barking out orders over the comms to our group whilst I tried to keep an eye on him whilst having Phillips's back and protecting myself while the strange alien creatures flooded the hallways, screeching in their own tongues and attacking us with Chitauri spear-things, laser guns like blasters out of Star Wars and all sorts of bladed weapons and heat rays and I'm not even sure what else. We fought our way to the control panel at the centre of the ship and Loki tossed a little metal ball to me. "Jane Foster created these. She called it a 'Pinch'. It is supposed to disarm electronics whilst leaving organic bodies and mechanics untouched. Press the button, destroy the controls, and leave. I'm going to the engines. Anali, Haror, with me." Two of Loki's underlings broke off from the fighting and followed Loki down another corridor deeper into the ship.  
"If I set this off, our comms will go dark," I pointed out, weighing the bomb in my hand as Phillips kept the surrounding aliens at bay for me.

"Miss Foster told me that our comms will restart soon afterwards; something about a collaboration with Stark," Loki told me.  
"We have separated, Loki. If I set this off, and you need help, you won't be able to…"  
"Arm the pinch, Carter!" Loki snapped. I pressed the button on the ball and wedged it into a gap between consoles.  
"Armed and placed; let's get out of here," I said, shooting an approaching alien and stalking past Phillips who fell into step with me easily as we fought our way out with the rest of our group. We exited the ship just as a blast that shimmered like heatwaves pulses out from the ship. I winced as my earpiece crackled and buzzed, pulling it from my ear as those around me had similar reactions. Any Chitauri within range of the pinch collapsed and I smirked at the unexpected effect the charge had on their cyborg bodies. That smirk quickly faded as I looked around in an attempt to locate Loki in the still struggling soldiers around me.

Sif appeared at my side with her group not far behind her. "Where is Loki?" she demanded, stabbing a Jotun in the belly before cutting its throat. I shook my head, shooting a couple of… I'm not sure; but I think they were fire demons… as they clambered over the rubble I was sheltering beside.  
"I have no idea; he went to the engines with two other Asgardians before I set the pinch off, and I haven't seen him since." I shoved my earpiece back in my ear, waiting for the electronics to start up again. There was an explosion not far off and I blinked in astonishment as everything within its radius started to crumble in on itself before vanishing in a flash of light. "That is not Stark technology," I muttered to myself.  
"Carter, focus!" a sharp voice commanded as something shoved me to my knees and an icy blast went over the top of me.

"Oh, there you are," I sighed as Loki tossed a dagger at the Frost Giant that had attacked me. "Did you know the pinch would take out the Chitauri?" I wondered as we pushed ourselves to our feet again and I shot another alien coming up behind him. Loki shook his head, looking around vigilantly and Phillips stood at my back, reloading his handguns.  
"No, that was a fortunate by-product of our attack; but they are not dead, merely unconscious." There was a crackling in my ear and I smiled as the comms went back online.  
"…deer Games? Kid? Can any of you hear me?"  
"We can now, Tony. The pinch wiped our comms; they only just rebooted," I replied to the voice.  
"You okay, Ellie?" Steve asked, breathing heavily.

"I'm fine, Cap. You just keep yourself alive; let me worry about my own hide." I pressed the button to disconnect my earpiece and looked back at Loki, Sif standing just behind him readily. "What now, Loki?" I asked.  
"Sif; you and your group remain here and take care of the middle men. You take my squad, too. I don't want to risk too many of us being seen going for the upper command. Carter, Phillips; you'll come with me." Phillips and I nodded and Sif began relaying the plans to the others before diving back into the fray. "Are you ready to continue?" Loki asked.  
"We are," Phillips confirmed as I nodded determinedly. We launched ourselves back into the fighting in order to get away from the battlefield. As we went, I was only half paying attention to the transmissions going through the comms until a panicked voice caught my attention.  
"Cap's been hit! I'm going to get him."  
"Careful, Falcon," Tony warned. "Watch your wings… On your left; left!"

"Mayday, mayday! I'm going down! I'm going…" The transmission cut off in static and I stopped in my tracks, turning to try and locate Sam, pressing my earpiece.  
"Sam?" I asked anxiously.  
"He's gone, Kid," Tony stated grimly and I gaped in shock at the violent abruptness of it all.  
"Steve," I choked, shaking Phillips's hand off my arm as he tried to pull me along.  
"Thor's got him; he'll be fine. Shoulder wound; I think," Tony grunted.  
"Tis but a flesh wound," Thor panted. "The Captain will be fine."  
"Carter; we have to go!" Phillips growled, seizing me by the shoulders and roughly pushing me in the right direction. I blinked, shaking my head to clear it, and shot at a couple of creatures attacking Loki ahead of us. We slipped into the surrounding streets again and I moved on autopilot, attacking anything that moved that was not Phillips or Loki. If I hurt any soldiers on our side, I couldn't tell you. I have no idea. As we got closer to the rainbow bridge, the concentration of enemies got stronger.

"Patrols," Loki growled. "We must be getting close. Stay down, Carter. Take this." I was handed a device that was alien in appearance, with a texture that made my skin crawl at its unfamiliarity. "When the time comes, you infiltrate the ship, destroy it, and you come back to us. Do not sacrifice yourself for any reason; you are far too important, Carter. Earth's Mightiest Heroes would be lost without their little mascot."  
"Is that some roundabout, stoic way of begging me to stay alive for you, Princeling?" I cooed teasingly, smirking. Phillips chuckled as Loki glowered at me until a purple flicker off to my right drew my attention. I turned my head with a curious frown and yelped as a trio of alien archers took aim at me with arrows lit by purple fire.  
"Take cover!" Loki snarled. Phillips dived behind a wall and Loki shoved me carelessly to the ground, raising his arm over his head in a sweeping motion. A screen of green light formed before him as a bowstring snapped. I looked up at Loki, my vision of him obscured by his swaying cape as the light before him rippled, and stared as the dark green material swung down to reveal a black arrow shaft embedded in Loki's lower-right abdomen.

I gaped in absolute astonishment as two more arrows flew, the purple light flashing through Loki's shield and hitting him in quick succession; upper-right, upper-left abdomen. Loki lowered his arm, the green light vanishing instantly, and I surged to my feet, lifting my guns and firing rapidly at the archers, emptying my mags into them viciously. I turned away from the bloody masses to find Loki standing frozen with his hands pressed against his belly between the arrows. "Loki?" I spoke shakily. Loki lifted his bright blue eyes to me, swallowing tensely. "Please tell me you're faking." Loki's lips twitched in a weak smile as he shook his head slowly.  
"Not this time, Mouse," he murmured huskily. I darted forward as he fell awkwardly to his knees with a grimace, sliding behind him and letting him lean back against me with his head on my shoulder, tugging his body over to shelter behind the wall with Phillips. Phillips himself crouched over us with his weapons at the ready.  
"You fool!" I hissed at Loki. "They were aiming at me! You should have let them get me! You're a better fighter than I am!" Loki shook his head quickly, staring up at me.  
"No. No, Mouse. Not you. It couldn't be you." I shook my head in confusion.  
"What are you talking about? Of course it could be me. It should have been me."  
"You shouldn't even be here," Loki argued, panting and trembling. "The Captain was right; I led you into peril… I couldn't… live with myself if something happened to you, my only friend… My Little Mouse." I clicked my tongue impatiently.

"Sappy nonsense; you're supposed to be an infamous strategist, Loki!" I pressed on my earpiece. "Hello! Can anybody hear me? Help!"  
"Ellie! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Tony demanded sharply.  
"Not me; it's Loki. There were these archers, and he protected me, and… Tony, help!" I pleaded as Loki hissed in pain, squirming.  
"Hang on, Kid. We'll be right there. Come on, Big Man. Your favourite ragdoll needs our help." The transmission ended and I disconnected my earpiece, turning all my attention on Loki, smoothing his hair back soothingly and kissing his forehead.  
"You're an idiot, Loki. I am seriously beginning to question your reputation as an evil genius."  
"You think me… evil?" Loki slurred in between breaths.  
"You know I don't. Certainly not after this display of weakness; sacrificing yourself for a mere pawn? Hardly the stroke of a master chess player. Your soft heart betrays you, Princeling."

"And yet yours is hard as steel and cold as ice," Loki hissed in retort with a strained grin. "You are… softer than I am, Mouse. Your bleeding heart had you imprisoned." I heard a familiar whooshing sound and looked up as Tony hovered over us, pounding footsteps approaching as Hulk drew nearer. "Mouse." I looked down at Loki as he grabbed my arm, squeezing painfully and staring at me intently. "We must abandon the mission. You cannot go. We need you… More than you know."

"Alright, Rock of Ages. Let's get you to the infirmary. Hulk; grab him."  
"Gently," I insisted as Hulk moved to follow Tony's instructions. "Gently, Hulk. Be careful." Hulk snorted, carefully lifting Loki with both hands and tucking him into his arm as Loki cried out softly at the aggravation to his wounds. I stood and Loki grabbed my shoulder.  
"Don't risk your life, Mouse. Come back with us." I shook my head, slipping out of Loki's grasp.  
"I can't, Princeling. We have a mission. I can't give up now. Go," I told Hulk, looking up at him. "Go now; get him to safety."  
"Kid, you…"  
"I have a quest to go on, Stark. You know how I feel about quests," I said, half-playful and half-serious. Tony sighed, shaking his head.  
"Be careful, Ellie. I don't want to lose you."

"There are always casualties in war; but I have no intention of becoming one. Come on, Phillips. We've got a kingdom to save." I turned and rushed away quickly with Phillips's footsteps behind me, ignoring Loki's protests as Hulk carried him in the opposite direction. We crept quickly towards the massive ships that swarmed around the end of the rainbow bridge. Phillips and I halted and I scowled. "There is nowhere to hide on the bridge, and we have no way of causing a distraction."  
"Yes we have," Phillips disagreed, pulling a high-tech looking bomb from his belt. "We can time these explosions; draw their attention away from our crossing." I smiled up at my partner fondly.  
"I love you."  
"I know. Here; take these. Set them for two minutes. Meet me back here."  
"Yes, Sir," I acknowledged, taking the offered bombs and slipping away in amongst the buildings. "I hope these folks took all their valuables with them," I sighed as I scattered the explosives before going back to the bridge. Phillips joined me moments later and we waited until the fiery blasts erupted.

"Go," Phillips encouraged, nudging me forwards, and we raced down the bridge as quickly as our modified legs could carry us.  
"You know, I never could have done that before the operations," I panted as we caught our breath, sheltered by the dome directly beneath the largest ship; a black monstrosity of a strange design. "Now we climb?"  
"Now we climb," Phillips confirmed. I turned and dug my claws into the golden dome, scrambling up the cracks like a rat and perching on the top, waiting as Phillips followed at a slightly slower pace. Phillips knelt and cupped his hands. I stepped into them and he threw me into the air where I sank my claws into the ship, digging in with the toes of my boots. I clambered up the side of the ship until I reached the sealed gap of the door and applied one of Stark's devices to open it. I hauled myself inside quickly and pulled a chord from my belt, securing it and dropping it to Phillips as guards approached me.

I huddled in amongst some pipes, shooting at them until Phillips joined me and we finished the aliens off. "Plant the bomb and let's get out of here," Phillips said briskly. I nodded and we loped off down the corridor.  
"You know which way we've come? Because I am hopeless at directions…"  
"Yes, Carter. I remember," Phillips sighed, longsuffering.  
"Oooh; this looks important," I grinned, poking my head into a room full of blinking lights and technological monitor-things. I slunk inside and armed the bomb, carefully lodging it in between two monitors.

Thirty seconds.

There was a shout and I looked up to find a Chitauri standing over me with his gun aimed. There was a sharp bang as Phillips fired his weapon and chaos bloomed. I darted towards the door, firing, when suddenly there was a sharp crack and I paused, half turned to look back. There was a shove against my ribs and I fell through the door as something spluttered wetly. I sat up quickly, looking back inside at the smoky interior. "Phillips?" I called hesitantly, crawling inside the doorframe. I froze when I came upon the bodies just inside, skin bubbling and smoking with acid leaking from one of the technological monitor-things. "Phillips!" I whispered, staring at the pale hair and vacant, familiar eyes of the closest body, his lower-jaw, neck and shoulder already dissolving. Swallowing dryly, I closed the lovely eyes with a pained frown and stood, running back the way we had gone. Arriving at the open door, I jumped, landing on the dome and tumbling down the side to land in an awkward heap on the bridge as the ship above me exploded, the fire and shrapnel causing a chain of explosions and damages throughout the ships. The line fell in flames and smoke and debris as I huddled next to the dome, too shocked to move. I do not know how long I sat there, heart fluttering and limbs cramping, but ships started flying overhead, leaving Asgard, and the bright sky faded into twilight. Finally, I roused myself, ignoring my multiple injuries, and made my slow, lonely walk back to the palace.

Mission Accomplished.


	19. Not Done Yet

When I arrived at the palace steps, half crumbled and scattered with filth and debris, I limped my way in between the wounded, healers and dead bodies and went inside without acknowledging anyone. After I had wandered down the hallway, only vaguely aware of where I was, a voice called out to me urgently. "Ellie!" I looked up slowly as a blond man pushed his way through the crowd towards me and threw his arms around my neck in a strong hug. It took a moment for me to respond, sluggishly lifting my arms and curling my fingers in Eric's shirt. "Where have you been?" he demanded, pulling back to look at me. "Why weren't you answering your comms? We've been trying to contact you since the ships blew up! Where's Jamie?" I gasped sharply, looking at Phillips's husband regretfully.  
"Eric… I… I'm so sorry," I whispered as his face paled and his eyes widened in dread.  
"He… he's not…"  
"Gone," I stated firmly, thinning my lips and staring into his eyes. "Killed protecting me; I didn't even see it coming… I couldn't do anything… I don't know what happened… I'm so sorry, Eric."

I expected him to push me away, blame me for his loss, scream at me and tell me he never wanted to see me again. Instead, he pulled me against his chest, buried his face in my hair, and started sobbing, squeezing me tightly. I stayed still, patting his back and ignoring the moisture dripping down my scalp and the aching in my battle-worn body. Eventually, Eric stopped crying so violently and released me, sniffling and wiping his face on his sleeve. "Sorry, El," he mumbled, breathing shakily. "I'm just… a bit shocked…"  
"So am I," I sighed, rubbing at my eyes. "Don't apologise, Sweetie. I understand."  
"No you don't," Eric denied, giving me a pitying look. "You've never married; you don't understand. You're just a child." I took a deep breath, blinking in surprise that Eric would say something like that to me as if I did not love as deeply as he did, and he stepped forward to press a kiss against my scalp before walking away silently.

I shook my head with a frown, groaning in pain and exhaustion before taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders, lifting my head defiantly and stalking towards in infirmary with purpose. When I turned into the room, I found that the outer doors had been opened and canopies erected to expand the space for the influx of wounded warriors. I caught the arm of a passing healer and looked her in the eyes intently. "Where is Loki Laufeyson?" I questioned in a low, serious tone. The healer turned and pointed to one of the screened-off sections.  
"He's in there; they're having trouble getting him to submit and allow them to remove the arrows."  
"Yeah, that sounds like Loki," I huffed, releasing the healer and slipping through the crowd to reach the partitions and enter. The three healers contained within turned to look at me sharply.  
"Who are you? What are you doing in here?" one of them queried sternly.

"Ellie!" Loki groaned and I shoved past one of the healers to stand at his bedside, looking him over with a worried frown.  
"Loki," I murmured gently, crouching by the bed and stroking his hair, squeezing his shoulder.  
"You're alive," he panted, giving me a strained, yet genuine, smile. "I've been asking; no-one knew what happened to you."  
"I blew up command and Asgard's enemies bugged out," I told Loki with a grin. "It was a good plan."  
"It could have got you killed," Loki growled, arching his back and gritting his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as a wave of pain wracked his body. I looked on helplessly, bowing my head to rest my forehead against his.  
"It could have, but it didn't… Loki, you need help. Why won't you let the healers help you?" Loki sagged against the bed again, panting heavily, swallowing dryly as I straightened again.

"I had to know where you were," he rasped. "I had to know if I had sent you to your death."  
"You didn't send me, Loki. I defied you. I do that a lot." Loki laughed weakly.  
"Only you could get away with that." I smiled, nodding.  
"I know. But why did you have to wait for me?" Loki took a deep, shuddering breath.  
"When they put me under, I might not waken again. I had to know what had happened to you before that." I wanted to argue, to tell Loki to think positive, but I was battered and bruised in more ways than one, and I recognised the truth of his words. Instead of protesting, I took a deep breath and met his eyes steadily.  
"I am alive, our enemies are vanquished, and I am safe, Loki. Mission accomplished. Quest successful. Battle ended. Now sleep," I droned soothingly. One of the healers approached with a syringe and gave Loki an injection into the side of his neck. Loki hissed, blinking up at me as his pale green eyes started to turn glassy and his eyelids grew heavy. I smiled at him affectionately, pressing a kiss to his forehead and stroking his hair. "Go to sleep, Loki. You need your rest." Loki's eyelids fluttered closed and his breathing evened out.

"Miss, you need to leave now. We'll take care of your friend," the only female healer told me, taking me by the shoulders and guiding me from the room.  
"Wait," I protested, pulling from her grasp and turning back to the bed. "I'll take his personal belongings, if he has any on him. He'll want them safe." One of the healer's sighed as the other cut through Loki's leather armour and tunic to reveal his wounded torso. I flinched at the sight of the arrows stuck into him like a macabre pincushion as the female healer looked through the folds of his clothing, producing nothing but a sheet of paper. I blinked at the oddity of that, taking it when offered and leaving the room placidly. "Thank you," I acknowledged absently. The healer nodded in reply, offering me a serene smile before disappearing back inside as I stared at the paper. Paper; not parchment. I unfolded the well-worn page carefully and huffed in astonishment as I read…  
My Dear Loki,  
I know this missive will not reach you, but writing this simply helps me to release my feelings…

I reached into my bra, the safest place I had, and pulled out a small slip of parchment, unfolding it and running my thumb over the words inked there…  
He Knows…  
I took a deep breath, folding both notes and tucking them into my top again, looking around to search for any familiar faces. I started wandering through the infirmary, peering at all the wounded as I went until a familiar voice groaned and I looked around quickly. A dark-gold mop of hair caught my attention and I pushed my way through the bustling bodies until I reached the bedside and took hold of the limp hand. "Steve!" I exclaimed, cupping his face and staring at him anxiously as his beautiful eyes opened slightly and focused on me.  
"Ellie; you're alive," he whispered breathlessly. I smiled gently, giggling softly.  
"You seem so surprised," I remarked.  
"They told me Loki was here," he moaned, crushing my hand in his and trembling. "Nobody said anything about you, but if Loki was here… You were with him, Ellie. He was meant to protect you."

"That _is_ why he's here, Steve," I informed him darkly. "Too many people are too concerned with protecting me. I am just another soldier." Steve snorted, smirking faintly.  
"You never were, El. I think you know that." I looked down, thinning my lips unhappily.  
"Well maybe I should have been," I muttered bitterly. Steve choked suddenly, squirming in pain and I looked at him with concern, peeling his torn uniform away from the ragged flesh of his shoulder. "Have you been tended to yet?" I inquired. Steve shook his head.  
"There are soldiers worse off than me, El. I'm not in immediate danger."  
"You are if we don't control this bleeding," I refuted sternly, pulling my hand from his and stalking over to the nearest healer. "Where are the bandages, and what do you have for pain relief?" I asked without preamble.

"Over by that far wall," the healer said, nodding her indication. "There are plants there, the leaves of which are powerful analgesics."  
"And what sort of dose would I give to a Midgardian?" I asked.  
"Someone your size? Half a leaf."  
"What about a decent-sized adult male?"  
"A full leaf; perhaps a leaf and a half depending on body mass."  
"And the leaves are administered…"  
"Orally; have them chew and swallow."  
"Thank you," I acknowledged, rushing away to fetch the necessary equipment. I returned to Steve's bedside with an armful of bandages and a handful of leaves. I took one and tore another in half, offering them to him. "Chew and swallow; these are pain relievers," I ordered, dumping the bandages on his lap and shoving the rest of the leaves into an empty pouch on my belt.

Steve did as he was told and the tension started to leave him almost immediately. I took some of the bandages and pushed them into the gaping wound, pressing firmly to stop the bleeding before binding it firmly. "Can you wriggle your fingers?" Steve nodded, wriggling, and I nodded. "Listen, Sweetie, I would love to stay with you, but they'll need all the help they can get here…"  
"Go, El. I'll be fine; help the others." I smiled, bending and pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek before turning and swiftly weaving my way through the crowd. It was selfish of me, but I wanted to see if there were any more of my friends in amongst the wounded before I set to work properly. That was how I found Clint, Natasha beside him, pressing a bloody cloth to his head.  
"What happened?" I wondered anxiously, taking in his pallid complexion and trembling body. Natasha looked up at me briefly before returning her gaze to Clint.  
"They found us. We lost a few people, but we managed to fend them off until the Chitauri collapsed and the rest of them retreated."

"Huh. You'd think the Chitauri would have fixed that flaw by now," I drawled.  
"What flaw?" Natasha wondered without looking away from Clint.  
"Take out the mothership and render the soldiers useless," I shrugged. Natasha blinked, looking up at me again, but it was not she who spoke next.  
"You took out the mothership?" I met Clint's gaze and smiled, nodding.  
"Yep. Proud of me?"  
"Very," Clint confirmed, holding out a shaking arm towards me. I bent, tucking my shoulders under the limb and setting my head on his shoulder where he could kiss my head affectionately.  
"Any idea where Bucky is?" I asked after a few moments.  
"Hiding somewhere," Natasha shrugged. "I'm sure he needs some quiet to recover now." I nodded understandingly, straightening.  
"Well, I'm going to get to work. Do you need anything?" Both assassins shook their heads, smiling at me weakly.  
"Are you sure you're okay, Ellie? You look like you've been through a lot," Natasha asked. I smirked, laughing faintly.  
"Haven't we all?" I wondered lowly, slipping away before either assassin could say anything more.

I was at work in the infirmary for hours, giving pain medication, strapping breaks, and stopping bleeding; always moving, always busy, never pausing until the world around me tilted and I fell to my knees in between two beds. I blinked rapidly, trying to right myself as my weak limbs failed and I crumbled onto the floor again, breathing raggedly as tears threatened to overwhelm me. Gentle hands caught my shoulders and I looked up into a familiar face. "Sif," I gasped.  
"You've done more than enough, Ellie. Come with me; you need rest." I nodded my agreement, not that I could resist as she lifted me to my feet and practically carried me from the wards, through the corridors and to my own room. Once there, she sat me down on the bed and went to the bathroom, running the bath for me. When it was full, she came back, took me into the bathroom, and left, shutting the doors behind herself. I awkwardly peeled off my sticky, tatty uniform and slipped gracelessly into the blissfully warm bath, sighing in relief as the rose-scented waters soothed my aching, exhausted form, slowly dissolving the grime and blood from my battered skin.

When the water started to cool, I used what little strength I had reclaimed to climb from the bath and wrap myself in a bathrobe, leaving the bathroom and falling, still soaking-wet, onto the bed, willingly letting sleep take me. I awoke what must have been hours later to a gentle tapping on my door. I tried to tell the person knocking to come in, but my tongue was thick with weariness, and all I managed was a wordless noise. The doorknob turned anyway and Bruce peeked in, blinking behind his spectacles. "Bruce," I sighed after freeing my tongue, sitting up clumsily.  
"Sif told me you were in here; I thought we could eat together." I nodded and he slipped inside with two bowls of stew on a tray. Setting it down on the covers, he climbed onto the bed beside me, our sides touching as we each claimed a bowl and started eating in silence. As the food started to reawaken my sluggish thoughts, I noted that Bruce was clean and dressed, still smelling faintly of musk, so he must have bathed recently, as I had.

"Who sent you from the infirmary?" I wondered between mouthfuls. Bruce blinked at me.  
"Did you see me there?" I shook my head.  
"Didn't have to. I know you, Bruce. You'll not sit back while people need help. You couldn't, any more than I could." Bruce smiled at me warmly.  
"You have a very kind view of me, don't you?"  
"I know you," I repeated firmly. Bruce sighed tiredly, rubbing his eye.  
"Natasha made me leave. She's even more convincing than you are, you know."  
"She's prettier than I am," I responded thoughtlessly. "She knows how to use it." Bruce paused, looking up at me sharply.

"Do you honestly believe that?" he inquired softly.  
"Believe what?"  
"Do you honestly believe that Natasha is prettier than you are?" I nodded easily, shrugging.  
"Honestly and truly. I don't look like Tasha."  
"No, you don't. But you are pretty, Pet."  
"Oh, don't get me wrong; I am not unhappy with my looks!" I assured Bruce earnestly. "I just think Natasha is prettier."  
"Then you're wrong," Bruce said simply, making me blink. "There is nothing wrong with you, Ellie. You are every bit as pretty as Natasha is." I thought about that for a moment, uncertain.  
"You really think so?"  
"I really do," Bruce confirmed. I smiled at him fondly.  
"Love you, too, Bruce." He chuckled softly, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks as he returned his attention to his food. I did the same, still smiling contentedly.

For the next few days, Bruce and I worked with Asgard's healers to help the wounded. It was hard work, not only because of the physical strain, but because we couldn't save them all… I couldn't save the world; no matter how I might wish to… I checked in on Loki every day; asked the healers about him. He remained unconscious, pale and still, blue and grey tints evident in his skin. The healers could not give me a definitive answer on whether or not he would live. It depended on whether or not Loki was strong enough to heal. Knowing his pre-existing condition, I was concerned. But I could not save him if I tried. So I did what I could where I could. Steve was in pain, but he was healing quickly, thanks in part to his super-soldier body. I was pleased to note his rapid recovery and spent time with him during the breaks I got in between working. Clint was released after two days with a dressing on his head and strict instructions to take it easy.

I was changing the dressings on one soldier's hand almost a week after the battle when a commotion started up near the far end of the room. I looked up, frowning in curiosity until I realised that the fuss was coming from Loki's ward. I was up in an instant with a hurried apology to the soldier I was abandoning and sprinting down the corridors. I slid into the partition opening, shoving the material out of my way impatiently to see inside. There, Loki was standing with one hand clamped firmly around a healer's throat, snarling at her aggressively. "Loki!" I exclaimed sharply. Loki looked at me briefly with crimson eyes before turning his gaze on the healer in his grasp.  
"They took something from me," he growled quietly. "Something precious to me. I want it back." I pulled the paper from the bodice of my violet gown and held it out to Loki silently. He took a deep breath, stepping back from the healer and slowly releasing her. I jerked my chin towards the exit. She obeyed, leaving immediately as Loki stood staring at the paper in my hand.

"Where did you get that?" he rumbled softly.  
"I took it when they stripped you to heal you," I responded. Loki reached out, plucking the sheet from my fingers, and I dug into my bodice again, pulling out my tiny scrap of parchment. Loki looked up from my letter and blinked, eyes returning to their usual shifting blue-green as he hesitantly took the parchment from me, smoothing it open carefully. With a deep breath, he handed it back to me, green light rippling across the surface. As I watched, the familiar letters shifted, changing into something else.  
I Know…  
I looked from the parchment back to Loki, smiling faintly. "Sit down," I said gently. "All this fuss; you've probably popped a few stitches now." Loki sighed heavily, stiffly lowering himself onto the edge of the bed and leaning back against the pillows.  
"How long was I unconscious for?" he inquired as I tucked my parchment away and sat beside him.  
"Almost a week… We didn't know if you would wake up." Loki looked at me curiously as though trying to determine what I had thought of that and I shook my head, rolling my eyes and wrapping my arms around his neck. "You scared me, Princeling." Loki folded his arms over my back silently, resting his cheek on my scalp.

"Why do you carry my note with you, Mouse?" he finally asked.  
"Because… I found it reassuring, I suppose. I hadn't considered the fact that you had written the note yourself; you were dead at the time, but… I wanted you to know, Loki."  
"I did know," he murmured.  
"But I never said…"  
"You didn't have to," Loki interrupted, brushing his hand over my hair. "I saw it. I knew. I know." I smiled, relaxing and listening to Loki's steady breathing as he distractedly played with my curls. After a little while, Loki started shifting uncomfortably and I sat up, looking at him.  
"Are you in pain?" I asked gently. He nodded, shifting again.  
"I'll go fetch a healer for you… I've got work to do, Loki…"  
"What work? You are Thor's guest; what work have you?" Loki demanded.

"Work I set myself, Princeling," I explained. "I am helping with the healing work." Loki smirked, shaking his head.  
"Always looking after others, Little Mouse." I grinned, shrugging.  
"Would you love me otherwise?" I wondered playfully.  
"Not as much."  
"I'll get a healer," I sighed, sobering again. Loki nodded and I left the room, finding the closest healer to send and returning to my work.


	20. Watch Over Me

As soon as the numbers in the infirmary started to go down, I was dismissed from the wards. Steve and Loki were both released to recover in their own quarters. I was sitting at a quiet breakfast with Thor, Jane, the Three, Tony, Sif and Bruce one morning when Loki walked in, standing stiffly in the doorway. "Brother, are you unwell?" Thor inquired in concern, rising.  
"I am as well as can be expected, given my injuries," Loki replied coolly.  
"Should you not be recovering in your room?" Loki shook his head impatiently, stepping closer.  
"No, Thor. What we _should_ be doing is considering the future of Asgard." Thor took a deep breath, seating himself again.  
"You wish to discuss the throne."  
"I wish to know your intentions. You abandoned your kingdom in favour of being a 'good man' and living a normal life with your love before. Have you decided against that this time, or is it still your intention to reside in Midgard?" Thor sighed, looking at Jane pensively.

"I have a duty to Asgard, of course…"  
"But your heart isn't in it, Brother," Loki commented softly.  
"And I suppose yours is?" Sif challenged. Loki turned his bright green eyes on her piercingly.  
"Where else would my heart be, Sif?"  
"If you wish to take the throne, Loki, say so," Thor demanded. Loki turned his gaze back to him calmly.  
"If _you_ wish to reclaim the throne, Thor, the people will not follow me."  
"They are unlikely to follow you anyway," Fandral pointed out. Loki narrowed his eyes at him. "Everyone knows that you are Jotun, Loki." Loki clenched his fists, green lights flickering along his fingers.  
"If Thor chooses to abdicate again, Asgard shall need a new ruler. Have you been raised and educated since early childhood to become the King, Fandral?" he challenged in an icy tone.

"Asgard has not yet been made aware of Loki's accomplishments protecting our realm," Thor rumbled pensively, folding his hands before himself. "During the post-battle celebrations, we will make it known that Loki was responsible for the plans which led to our victory. Then we shall see whether or not the people will be receptive to having Loki as their King."  
"In the meantime, if you will make all the necessary arrangements for the celebrations and tributes to our fallen, I shall see what can be done about the rebuilding of Asgard's homes and defenses."  
"Of course, Brother." Thor agreed to Loki's suggestion amicably. "If you need any help…"  
"I'll be sure to speak with you," Loki drawled, turning and stalking from the room with all of his usual grace. I watched him go, noting the stiff way he held his torso, and sighed, taking another bite of my toast.

"You okay, Pet?" Bruce inquired gently at my huff. I smiled at him tiredly.  
"I'm fine, Bruce. Perfectly healthy, thank you."  
"And Loki?" the doctor continued shrewdly. Thor glanced at him sharply before turning his vivid eyes on me. I laughed faintly, shaking my head.  
"A matter of time, I think."  
"I concur. Will you manage?"  
"Better than you would. Don't worry, Bruce. I'll keep an eye on the Hulk's favourite playmate."  
"Don't let him bully you away," Bruce warned. "Loki needs help as much as the rest of us."  
"Yes, I know," I sighed, picking up my teacup. "You do keep me busy." I sipped my tea.  
"Forgive me, but what are you both talking about?" Thor finally interrupted.

"Loki's eventual breakdown," I responded plainly, setting my cup down. "He's injured, exhausted and intent on proving himself worthy of the throne. That is not a combination that will end well, Thor." Thor sighed, shaking his head gravely.  
"I should speak to him…"  
"He'll just cut you down, same as the rest of us," Tony snorted, rolling his eyes. "If that psycho wants to tear himself apart, let him. I'd not lose any sleep over it."  
"In spite of the fact that it was his careful planning and protective instincts that got us through this war with minimal casualties and no damages to the other realms, including Earth?" I challenged darkly. Tony shrugged.  
"Hey, I know you and Loki are close, Kid, but the guy threw me out of my own window. It's not exactly something you forgive and forget."

"But you'd forgive and forget if he threw you out of someone else's window?" I asked, amused by the statement. Tony shrugged, looking at me, deadpanned.  
"It's the principle," he insisted, unable to keep his lips from twitching faintly. I laughed, shaking my head.  
"Alright, Stark. I'll not argue." Thor rose with a heavy sigh.  
"There are arrangements that need to be taken care of… Ellie, may I speak with you?"  
"Of course," I agreed, standing and allowing Thor to usher me from the room.

We walked down the hallways in silence for a few moments before Thor spoke. "Ellie, might I presume to ask you to watch over Loki? If he is in danger…"  
"He'll not confess it until the danger is upon him, Thor, whether I watch him or not. You know how prideful Loki is." Thor looked at me grimly.  
"Then you will not?" I quirked a brow at that.  
"Of course I will. I'm just asking you not to make Loki's health my responsibility. Your brother is old enough to make his own choices."  
"But he will listen to your council." I laughed, pushing my fingers through my wild curls and shaking my head.  
"Would that it was so," I lamented in wry humour.  
"You have managed to sway Loki before, on many occasions," Thor remarked, frowning in confusion at my comment.

"Yes, but only when he was in pain, Thor. Loki will listen to me when he has no other options, and _only_ then."  
"I see," Thor sighed resignedly. "Very well. I would still like you to keep an eye on Loki. If something does happen to him, I would feel more comfortable knowing that you are there to help him." I nodded solemnly.  
"I will watch him. I promise." Thor smiled, taking my hand and lifting it to press a gentle kiss to the back before sweeping away, leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor, mulling over how I ended up responsible for managing one of the most unpredictable and mysterious characters in all legend… This was not what I signed up for joining Shield!

The next afternoon saw me wandering through the streets as Asgard was rebuilding. I was seeking Loki; I knew he would be located somewhere near where most of the damage had occurred. It wasn't long before I found him and paused, watching as he picked something out of the rubble of the partially ruined house that was being reconstructed and looked over to the group of Asgardian civilians standing nearby. He walked over to them slowly and crouched before three young girls. "Was this your house?" he asked gently. The girls nodded nervously, crowding closely to their mother and holding their soft dolls tightly. "I take it that this belongs to you, then." Loki held out a colourful ball to the girls and they looked up at their mother uncertainly. The woman nodded encouragingly and the youngest girl stepped forward to take the ball.  
"Thank you," she whispered. Loki smiled faintly.

"Go and play; leave the grown-ups to all the boring work," he advised, nodding towards a clear patch of the street just along the way. The little girl looked at the clearing before glancing back at Loki shyly and he winked at her, straightening and stepping back. The three girls ran off to play with their ball and Loki sighed, turning back to the house as it rumbled ominously, shedding rubble. Loki held up his hand and green light flashed, clinging to the stone. "Someone brace this door; the whole structure is about to collapse!" he called. Within moments, three workmen had shoved thick wooden beams into the doorway and Loki released his hold, sighing again and running his fingers through his hair. I stepped up behind him and waited until he turned and blinked in surprise, stepping back from me slightly. "Ellie."  
"One of the manservants told me you were up and gone by daybreak this morning," I commented.

"Yes," Loki confirmed, walking along the street and trusting me to fall into step with him as he casually sent arcs of his magic out, pushing aside debris and shifting it to reinforce the crumbling structures around us. "There is much to do, Mouse." As if to emphasise his point, a man approached Loki, bowing respectfully before handing him a scroll. Loki unrolled it, reading as we walked, and I waited patiently until he nodded, handing the scroll back to the man.  
"Tell them to salvage whatever they can for the families before demolishing the buildings. The displaced are being accommodated in centres near the palace; make sure they are seen to."  
"Yes, My Lord," the man accepted, bowing again and walking away.  
"You set up the centres?" I asked.  
"Yes, I oversaw their construction and supply," Loki replied distractedly, halting to watch a few of the workers for a moment before moving on.

"And you've organised these reconstruction teams?"  
"Yes. Thor is working on boosting Asgard's morale in the aftermath; I am left to direct the practical, everyday matters."  
"When's the last time you ate?" Loki stopped abruptly, blinking at me.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Food, Loki. Sustenance. When did you last eat?"  
"Yesterday morning. I have been much occupied, and I haven't really been hungry."  
"You need food," I told him firmly, holding out the bundled oilcloth I was carrying to him. "You must keep up your energy, especially if you're going to continue working like this." Loki unwrapped the cloth with a curious frown to find two slices of buttered bread, cheese and an apple contained therein. He smiled, lifting his eyes to mine.

"Thank you, Little Mouse."  
"Well, if you don't have time to look after yourself, that means I have to do it," I shrugged casually. "I don't recall signing up for sitter's duties, but I've got the hang of it over the years, I think. Training with the Avengers and whatnot." Loki laughed faintly, biting into the crisp green apple and sucking the spilled juice off his hand, casting his gaze over the work surrounding us critically.  
"I am perfectly capable of managing my own affairs, thank you, Mouse."  
"You will be careful, won't you, Loki?" I asked softly, reclaiming his attention. "I'm worried about you. And don't even think about telling me that you are perfectly well and all of that nonsense, because you were seriously wounded and it's been less than two weeks since."

Loki's eyes chilled instantly and he sighed impatiently, swallowing his mouthful. "Ellie, this is not your concern," he rumbled coolly. "Asgardian politics has nothing to do with you, and I have neither the time nor inclination to explain to you the intricacies of ruling." I took a deep breath, staring at Loki resolutely.  
"I am insulted that you do not believe that I understand exactly what you are doing here, but I have others to care for and I have wasted enough of my time on you. Now, if you will excuse me, I still need to find Bucky." I turned on my heel sharply and stalked away without a backwards glance.

The following weeks were busy as shelters were managed, homes were under construction and celebrations were planned. I was kept on my toes in watching over my friends, including enlisting the help of the wait staff to keep Tony from drink, seeing to it that Bucky was not slipping back into his old habits of questioning his moral standing, stopping Steve from overworking his shoulder in his restless haste to recover his previous mobility and comforting him and Eric in their moments of mourning for their losses. I also kept my promise to Thor and continued to shadow Loki from time to time as he went about his work distractedly, a weary, pensive scowl permanently affixed to his face. I know that he noticed my presence, but we did not speak again after our little conflict previously. I had known that Loki would not appreciate my interference, and so I waited. I did not need to wait long…

It was less than a week away from the planned revels when I was biding my time in the small library in the nobles' quarters, awaiting Loki as he passed through on one of his many errands. I heard voices and recognised Loki's as one of them, so I closed my book, set it aside, and approached the doorway to watch him pass. There was a man with him, reading out something on a clipboard as he followed along behind. I narrowed my eyes in concentration; something about Loki did not seem quite usual. There seemed to be a sort of faint flickering across his skin, like a fading magic, and he was moving sluggishly, so unlike his ordinarily smooth, purposeful gait and gestures. "I shall attend to these matters tomorrow," Loki suddenly told the man following, halting abruptly by a hall table and pressing his hand flat against it.  
"My Lord…"  
"Tomorrow; now go!" Loki ordered sharply. The man bowed and fled the wing immediately. Loki grimaced, passing a hand across his face which produced a rippling of green light. I stepped further out of the doorway, frowning in quizzical concern.  
"Loki?" I called hesitantly. Loki's knees buckled and he crumpled to the floor limply. I gasped, loping swiftly towards him and kneeling at his side. "Loki!" I rolled him onto his back and cupped his face to turn it towards me before yelping and letting go as a sharp tug pulled at my palms. I blinked in surprise, looking at Loki's marbled grey skin and frowning again.

Tentatively, I laid my palm against his cheek and winced as the pulling feeling grabbed me again, sucking at my energy with much more force than he had done in Miami. "Oh, Loki, what have you done?" I muttered, pulling my hand away from his skin and looking around distractedly as I tried to think of what to do. With a huff, I stood quickly, picked up my skirts and raced to the doors at the end of the hall, pushing them open slightly and looking out into the next corridor. "You there!" I called to the nearest servant.  
"Lady Ellie," he replied, bowing.  
"Summon Thor here immediately. Tell him Ellie says it's urgent."  
"Yes, milady," the servant acknowledged before taking off at a sprint. I turned away, letting the door fall shut, and rushed back up the hall to where Loki was lying sprawled awkwardly. I chewed on my lip anxiously, rubbing Loki's shoulder and repeating his name in a vain attempt to rouse him while I waited for Thor.

He arrived quickly, flying through one of the windows with Mjolnir and landing in the hall, speaking before he even stopped moving. "Ellie, I am told you asked for me. The servant said you seemed panicked."  
"Thor, I can't lift him," I responded hastily. "And I can't touch him; he is too drained. I tried to lift his head and he started drawing on my energy. I'm getting a headache already, and it was for less than ten seconds!"  
"Loki!" Thor breathed, stunned into stillness before coming swiftly to my side and unceremoniously gathering his brother into his arms, looking down at me with grim expectation of instruction.  
"His room," I decided, striding quickly down the hallway. Thor overtook me and tried the handle, shaking the door violently before shoving his shoulder against it.  
"There is some sort of enchantment on the door," Thor growled. "I cannot enter."

I frowned in frustration, chewing on my lip as Thor shifted his hold on Loki. I tried the handle half-heartedly and felt it turn slightly. Blinking in surprise, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open with ease, sharing a look with Thor. Wondering briefly why Loki's spell would allow me to access his chambers but deny Thor, I led the way over to the bed and hurriedly pulled down the covers. Thor gently settled Loki on the bed, his eyes anxious and full of affection. "He needs energy, Thor. Bring water and a clear broth to feed him. I will go and find some gloves so I can check his wounds." Thor nodded sharply and we both exited Loki's bedchamber swiftly. I ran to my room on the far side of the noble's wing and rummaged through my Asgardian clothing until I found a soft, thin pair of white kidskin gloves. I hurried back to Loki's room, pulling them on as I went, and seated myself on the bed beside him, quickly stripping him of his tunic, undershirt and bandages and staring in horrified enthrallment at the three arrow wounds. They were oozing a thick, partially congealed blood and the flesh surrounding them was darkly bruised as through someone had pressed stoppers into them, torn threads looped around the edges. "What in the nine realms?" I breathed. I shook my head, determining to send Thor for a healer upon his return, and turned my attention back to Loki's face.

I sighed in sympathy, smoothing his hair back gently, frowning when he remained completely unresponsive. Thor returned with a tray and set it on the bedside table. "I got the water in a pitcher. I thought the spout would make it easier."  
"Yes, of course. Thank you, Thor; good thinking. But now Loki needs a healer." Thor nodded and disappeared for a few moments again before returning, standing at the end of the bed with his arms crossed tensely, staring at his brother in distress.  
"Look at him, Ellie," Thor murmured, swallowing. "The last time I saw him like this, he was dying in my arms… I know it wasn't real, but… it hurts me to see him like this."  
"I know, Sweetie. I'm doing the best I can," I responded quietly, carefully trickling water into Loki's mouth and watching closely. There was a faint movement at his throat and I poured a little more, seeing his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. I gave him a few more mouthfuls of water before setting the pitcher aside and picking up the bowl, taking a spoonful of the broth and sipping it to test the temperature. It was warm without being hot, so I cautiously tipped a spoonful into Loki's mouth. He swallowed again and I continued to feed and water him until he started to stir, groaning lowly and furrowing his brow, shuddering.

"Ellie, can I help at all?" Thor asked timidly. I sighed, looking back at him.  
"You can give him some energy, if you've got aught to spare." Thor stepped forward immediately and knelt beside me, clasping Loki's hand in both of his and hissing, baring his gritted teeth. Within moments, Thor released his hold on Loki, falling back into a sitting position unsteadily and blinking rapidly, lifting his hand to his head with a groan. Loki gasped sharply, eyes flying open, and I jumped in fright at the unexpected sound. With a broken cry, Loki sat up, pushing both his hands against his belly as green lights flowed and flashed all over him and he panted heavily between deep moans of agony.

"No, Loki, stop!" I pleaded, pushing his hands away from his wounds. "Don't use your magic; stop it now!" Loki whined again and bent forward, wrapping his arms around my ribs and laying his forehead on my shoulder, breathing heavily and grabbing my hair in his fists, trembling violently. I hushed him gently, stroking his hair and rubbing his back soothingly. Slowly, Loki's breathing quieted and his shaking eased into intermittent tremors. I shifted forward to lay Loki back against his pillows and he let me go, lying limply and groaning, squeezing his eyes shut.  
"What happened?" he wondered.  
"You finally tore yourself apart," I told him softly, stroking the hair back from his temple. His pale green eyes opened and fixed on me. "You haven't been eating, you've barely slept, you didn't give yourself any time to heal, and you've been relying on your magic to keep you going; only now you haven't the energy to feed it."

Loki sighed, closing his eyes and Thor stood quietly. "Loki." Loki looked up at him coolly. "What happened to your wounds? I have never seen anything like that before." Loki closed his eyes again, grimacing impatiently.  
"When it became apparent that I could not move around without tearing my stitches, I started using magic to hold myself together."  
"That is terrible; why did you not seek help, Brother?" Loki smirked, huffing a bitter laugh.  
"Who would help me, Thor? Who would care?"  
"I'm sitting right here, you bastard!" I snarled. "Why am I never enough for you?!" I stood quickly and left the room, slamming the door behind myself in my anger and frustration and stalking down the corridor, passing a healer on her way to Loki. I pushed open the doors at the far end of the nobles' wing and started towards the front of the palace only to have something connect with my abdomen. I looked up at Steve, who withdrew his hand slowly, gazing back at me uncertainly. I sighed, bowing my head. "Why is everything so hard, Steve?" I groaned.

The soldier clicked his tongue and put his arm around my shoulders. "I think it's about time you let someone else do the saving, El. Come on; let's get you somewhere safe." I nodded compliantly, allowing Steve to escort me wherever he wanted. We ended up in a secluded section of the gardens, surrounded by thick shrubbery and sheltered under vast weeping willows. Steve sat down on the grass and gently pulled me down next to him, wrapping me in his little Asgardian cape. "Don't worry, El. You get some rest and I'll watch over you, okay? You don't have to worry about any of us now; I promise we can take care of ourselves for an hour or two." I smiled, turning towards Steve and tucking myself into his side, resting my head on his chest and listening to his slow, steady heartbeat and soft, even breathing.  
"How did you know exactly what I needed you to say, Steve?" I wondered quietly. Steve sighed, shrugging.

"Well… I guess it's because I know you, Ellie. You were wearing that look you get when you're worrying over someone, so I guess I just thought you could use someone to worry over you instead for a little while."  
"Thanks, Steve. It's nice to know I've got someone here who's looking out for me."  
"Always, El. I'm here whenever you need me."  
"Honestly and truly?" I asked, looking up into Steve's deep blue eyes. He smiled, cheeks darkening faintly.  
"Yeah, Ellie. Honestly and truly. And you know any one of the Avengers would help you in any way they could, right?" I nodded, looking down again.  
"Yes, but I can't ask, and they never know."  
"Well, I know." I nodded again, Steve's warmth helping me to relax muscles I hadn't even realised were tense.  
"I love you, Steve."  
"Love you too, Ellie." I sighed, shifting comfortably, and shut my eyes.


	21. Help Me

Loki's cries were loud and guttural as his blood dripped over my hands in spite of my best efforts to stem the flow, pressing with all the strength I could muster against his belly. His fingers dug into my arms and I didn't know if he was trying to hold me to him or push me away. "I told you!" Loki growled, jamming his thumb into my shoulder joint as he gripped me tightly. "The healers couldn't be trusted. I told you!" Pressure built in my eyes but I refused to cry now. Loki screamed, tears streaming down his marble-grey cheeks, and raked his nails down my sleeve, voice subsiding into rough sobs.  
"I'm doing my best," I told him lowly, my voice barely more than a whisper.  
"No," Loki rumbled breathlessly. "You save your best for your Avengers." I shook my head, not removing my gaze from my bloody hands.  
"That's not true."  
"Then why are you letting me go?" Loki's grip on me slackened as his eyelids drooped and I shook my head rapidly. "I don't want to die…"

"No, Loki, no! Stay with me! Please stay with me…" Loki's hands fell limp to the ground and his head lolled as his chest stopped fluttering. I stared in shock at the dark face, blank and smooth in death.  
"It is better this way." I jumped at the deep voice and turned to face Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three watching grimly. "Loki was never happy here," Thor continued, a tear rolling down his cheek. "He is at peace now."  
 _Liar!_ Loki's voice hissed in my mind. _I didn't want this… You betrayed me, Miss Carter. I trusted you, and you let me go…_ I shook my head, pushing my ruddy hands against my forehead.  
"Bucky!" I looked up quickly and stood, pushing my way out of the clearing that Steve had taken me to and where Loki had found me, looking for help... I came out of the hedges close by to the rainbow bridge and took off at a run, following Steve's distressed calls. "Bucky, stop! Don't do it!"  
"I have to, Steve! I'm a monster; I can feel it!" Steve gave a sharp cry and my insides turned to stone.

When I rounded the corner onto the rainbow bridge, I found Steve kneeling on the colourful tiles with his hand clamped to his shoulder as blood poured down his arm while Bucky stood panting on the edge. "Bucky, stop!" I yelped, diving to my knees behind Steve and locking both of my hands over his shoulder. Bucky turned his head to look at me blankly. "Don't you dare," I warned him lowly, shaking my head slowly and keeping my eyes trained on his. "Don't you dare leave us like this, Bucky."  
"I'm a monster," Bucky replied quietly, looking away again. "A killer. A Murderer."  
"That's Hydra talking, Bucky! Don't listen to them, listen to me! I'm here now, and I promise you that you are no monster!" – _Traitor! You love him more than me…_ \- "You're one of my boys! I love you, Bucky! Don't leave me like this!" Bucky shifted a foot slightly towards the edge. – _You didn't want me anymore…_ \- "Bucky, please! I need you here! I can't lose you, too!" Steve suddenly slumped against me, hand dropping from his shoulder and eyes falling shut. "No," I whimpered. "Bucky, help me!"

It was dark as I looked around in confusion, leaning against a doorframe and breathing deeply. "Ellie, talk to me." I set my gaze on Loki where he stood before me, holding his hands out in placation to me. "I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."  
"I had a nightmare about you," I said, my voice low and steady, even if my words came a little fast. Loki froze, eyes hardening from concern to something I couldn't place.  
"A nightmare," he echoed softly, a bitter undertone to his words.  
"You were bleeding and you died, even though I tried to stop it. Thor told me it was better that way, but I knew he was wrong. I could hear your voice in my head, accusing me of letting you go." Loki started moving slowly as I spoke, keeping his eyes on me. "And then Bucky thought he was a monster and wanted to throw himself off the rainbow bridge, and Steve tore his shoulder open trying to stop him, so I was trying to keep Steve from bleeding out at the same time as trying to convince Bucky to stay… And then I woke up and I don't even remember how I got here," I added, looking around and trying to remember going to Loki's chambers. I looked back at Loki sharply. "You're okay, right?" I checked anxiously. Loki smiled quickly.

"I am well enough," he assured me, pulling on the shirt he had collected from the drawers and sliding on a pair of black leather gloves. "You need to go back to sleep, my dear. Come to bed." I nodded, stepping into the room and moving to shut the door. "Leave it open," Loki said, taking my hand and gently pulling me towards the bed.  
"Why?"  
"Because you are a maiden and I will not allow your reputation to be compromised by vicious tongues, Little Mouse."  
"I didn't think of that," I mumbled.  
"You are innocent, my dear. I do not have that luxury; my thoughts have been twisted for me since childhood."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Never be sorry for holding to something that most of us would love to reclaim, Mouse. It is a testament to your fine character."

Loki pulled down the bedcovers, picked me up and set me down, sliding into the bed beside me and pulling up the blankets. He adjusted the pillows and curled an arm around my back as I set my head on his chest, listening to his soft heartbeat and slow breathing. Loki set a cushion by his shoulder above my head to lay his cheek against. "Why did you put gloves on, Loki?" I wondered sleepily.  
"Because you have no energy to spare, my dear. I would not take from you."  
"Are you hurting? Do you need anything?"  
"I need you to stop talking and go to sleep, Carter," Loki sighed impatiently, taking my hand and laying it against his abdomen. "I am exhausted." I smiled at that, settling myself more comfortably and yawning.  
"Goodnight, Loki."  
"Goodnight, dear Little Mouse."

When I awoke, I could hear Loki's quiet voice in my ear. "…dreamt that I died last night, so she came to make sure I was still alive. She mentioned something about your shoulder as well."  
"She worries too much about us." Steve's voice.  
"Well, who else is gonna do it?" I slurred, rolling over so my back was against Loki's side with my cheek resting on his arm.  
"We can look after ourselves, Miss Carter," Loki pointed out gently, brushing his thumb against my hip. In response, I twisted my arm back and prodded his abdomen, making him flinch away from me slightly, exhaling sharply.  
"Sure you can," I drawled sarcastically, still unwilling to open my eyes. I felt Loki's chest vibrate against my back as he growled and winced when his fingers dug into my side. I squirmed away from him and slipped out of the other side of the bed, curling up on the ground with the doona pulled around me.

"Are you okay, Ellie?" Steve asked.  
"Yep."  
"Are you going to get up off the floor?" Loki inquired.  
"Nope." Gentle laughter from Steve.  
"I think I'd better take her back to her own room."  
"Yes, you better had," Loki agreed with a weary sigh. Arms curled under my body and I was lifted easily into Steve's hold, setting my head on his shoulder as I kept my neat little bundle in the doona. Steve started walking until Loki stayed him.  
"Ah! I would like to take my cover back."  
"Noooooo," I drawled lazily, feeling Steve shake as he chuckled.

I heard Loki huff impatiently and then the doona was being pulled at. I growled, curling my fists in the blanket and pulling it back towards myself. "Carter, enough of this nonsense!" Loki remonstrated.  
"I have to put up with all your nonsense; you can have the blanket back when I wake up!"  
"You are awake," Loki pointed out.  
"I am dreaming," I responded stubbornly.  
"Carter, return my blanket!" Loki demanded, tugging sharply so that Steve stumbled abruptly. There was a moment when I was crushed between the two of them, then I was dropped on my feet as both men cried out in shock. I released my hold on the cover immediately, turning and instantly pushing them apart, standing between them both with a hand on each of their chests, feeling their hearts pounding through their shirts.

"What was that?!" Steve demanded, looking at the red mark slowly darkening on his bare arm.  
"Energy suck," I responded simply, examining him closely. "You okay? I know it can be a bit of a shock; do you need to sit down?"  
"No, no, just…" Steve looked at Loki in bewilderment where he was kneeling on the end of his bed with his hand pressed against the side of his face. Loki shook his head, glancing at me.  
"It is not something I can control, Captain," he said in a cool, clipped tone. I frowned at Loki worriedly and stepped forward to cup his cheek, in spite of his shying away from me. The drain was sudden and painful and I pulled back as if burned, hissing.  
"Still so depleted," I remarked concernedly.

Loki took a deep, shuddering breath, keeping his eyes on the blanket at our feet. I picked it up and handed it to him, looking him over sympathetically. "Go back to sleep, Loki. You need it." I took hold of Steve's arm and ushered him from the room, closing the door behind us.  
"He's not doing too good, is he?" Steve wondered with a thoughtful frown. I shook my head, looking down sadly.  
"No, poor little thing," I murmured gently. I smiled slightly, shaking my head. "Well, when I say ' _little_ '…"  
"Yeah, I know," Steve laughed warmly. He sobered, looking at me with concern.  
"Loki mentioned you had a nightmare last night. Something about me in it."

"Stress dream, Cap. Nothing more than a momentary lapse of strength," I informed him with a dismissive flick of my hand.  
"So momentary that you had to spend the night with Loki to make sure he was still alive?" Steve challenged, crossing his arms.  
"I'm fine, Steve. Honestly, this is nothing I can't handle; I promise," I told him with an earnest smile.  
"El, you would tell me if you needed help, wouldn't you?"  
"I would if you asked; sure," I agreed.  
"Do you need help?" I shook my head, stepping forward to hug him. Steve's arms curled around my shoulders gently.

"I don't need any help, Steve. As long as you're recovering well, Bucky's still reasonably convinced that he's not a monster, Loki's resting as he should and Tony's not going into self-destruct, I'm fine."  
"Wait, what about Tony?" Steve asked, pushing me back a little to look into my face. I shook my head.  
"He reverted back to his drinking days for a while when Pepper got married, but he's been pretty good since then. That's all."  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve wondered.  
"I told Bruce. He's a doctor. Don't worry, Steve; I know when I'm outmatched. I've got this," I told him with a confident little nod. Steve clicked his tongue, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck shyly.  
"You've always been such a help to us, Ellie. I want to be able to help you, too."  
"Oh, Sweetie; you already have," I assured him, stepping in to hug him again. I felt his breath in my hair as he curled over me protectively.


	22. Celebration

I checked in on Loki two days later, having given strict instructions via Thor to the staff to make sure that Loki never had need to leave his chambers. I wanted to be absolutely certain that Loki had all the rest he could get in order to reclaim his strength. He would, of course, be required to make an appearance at the celebrations on Saturday night when Thor made the official announcement of Loki's accomplishments, but until then, I was determined that he should be well cared for. My knuckles only just brushed against the wood when the handle clicked and the door swung open. I blinked in surprise, looking over at Loki sitting up in his bed with sheafs of parchment spread around him. "Did you just magic this door?" I demanded sharply. Loki shook his head, gazing at me placidly.  
"A permanent enchantment."  
"Why does the door open for me, but not for Thor?"  
"I trust you more than Thor. Now, what can I do for you, Ellie?"  
"Nothing," I answered, stepping inside and looking Loki over closely. "I just came to check on you." Loki sighed exasperatedly, looking down to the document in his hands.

"I haven't left my rooms; I am eating, I am sleeping and I am doing what I can from here. I know that if I wasn't, the servants would report it to Thor, who would report it to you, and you would hunt me down and pester me to see sense. As I would rather avoid all the hassle, I thought it best to remain here until the party. Was there anything else?" I watched as Loki shifted through his papers, keeping his eyes down.  
"No," I replied softly. "Nothing else." Loki looked up at me and gave me a distracted smile.  
"Good day, Ellie."  
"Goodbye, Loki." I left the room, shutting the door behind myself. As I was walking down the corridor, a voice made me pause.  
"Hey, Kid!" I turned and smiled as Clint and Natasha caught up to me.  
"Hey, Guys," I greeted softly.  
"What's wrong?" Natasha wondered. "You don't seem as cheerful as you usually are."

I shook my head, smiling weakly. "I'm fine. I've just been checking in on Loki, but I think he's become quite impatient with me. I don't think he wants me around for a while, which is fine by me. Honestly, I could use a break. I'll have a word with Thor, let him know I'm not looking in anymore, but I am quite ready to wash my hands of it all until the party."  
"You know, everyone can see that Loki cares about you, El. If you talk to him, I'm sure he'd be nicer to you."  
"Talk about what, Tasha?" I questioned, confused.  
"If he hurt you…"  
"It wouldn't be the first time," I interrupted with a wry smirk, shrugging and stretching to pop my shoulders. "I have no desire to live in Loki's pocket; if he's had enough of me, so be it. He can't hurt me nearly as much as you seem to think he can."

"So what are you going to do now, then?" Clint wondered, slinging his arm over my shoulders as we walked.  
"I am going to check on the rest of my mates, make sure none are suffering PTSD and if they aren't, I'm going to hide away from everyone until the party."  
"Are _you_ coping, Kid? I know we all rely on you pretty heavily."  
"Yeah, I'm fine, Clint. I'm just tired. But I can set that aside if need be, so if neither of you need me, I'm going to go find Bucky."  
"He'll be out in the gardens behind the palace somewhere," Natasha informed me. "He's been spending a lot of time there."  
"Thanks, Tasha. I'll see you guys later." Clint gave me a quick kiss on my scalp and let his arm slide away from me as I went off to find Bucky.

Bucky was in the garden where Steve had taken me to escape from everyone for a while. I approached and stood behind him silently, waiting patiently. I knew he would speak when he was ready. "I was a nice man, once," he announced quietly, staring at the faintly stirring willow fronds. "I fought bullies with Steve, went to war for my country's freedom… I was supposed to die for my best friend, Ellie. This was never meant to happen. _I_ was never meant to happen."  
"I take it that you don't believe in destiny, then," I sighed, leaning against his side lazily. Bucky glanced at me briefly, face as impassive as usual.  
"I don't know. Do you?" I tilted my head, looking up at the light filtering through the leaves.  
"I don't care," I decided after a moment's thought. "I'm Catholic, so I believe there's a God and a plan and what have you, but nothing ever really goes to plan in the end, and we were given free will, sooo… Whether fate exists or not, I am what I am, and I am where I am, and that's all that really matters to me. I don't think too deeply on what could have been, or what should have been. I am, and that is enough."

I saw Bucky look down at me from the corner of my eye and turned my face to his, smiling serenely. "I am enough," he murmured. I curled my arm through his, squeezing affectionately.  
"You are absolutely enough, Bucky. Natasha and Clint have told me that you were a brilliant guard in the battle. I understand that you were the one who got Clint to safety when he was wounded." Bucky nodded wordlessly, staring at me. "Thank you for that. You did well, Bucky. You are a good man; trust me. I know bad when I find it."  
"What about Loki?" Bucky challenged.  
"Loki is not a bad man, Bucky. He was damaged and fell to cruel influences. You are not unalike, you know."

"Loki is widely disliked."  
"Loki is severely misunderstood. Knowing that people don't trust him makes him bitter, Bucky. You aren't bitter, and the Avengers do like you. And I am extremely fond of you, you know." Bucky smiled slightly, bowing his head.  
"I know." We fell into a peaceful silence, watching the light play across the branches. "You are really easy to talk to," Bucky remarked eventually.  
"Thank you; I'm glad you feel that way, Buck. I like talking with you; I enjoy your company."  
"Do you?" Bucky wondered, looking down at me sceptically.  
"Would I seek you out otherwise?" Bucky smiled faintly again.

"Alright, I see your point… Steve mentioned that you had a nightmare about him two nights ago." I sighed, scratching my scalp.  
"Yes; you and Loki were there, too. It's only because I was worried about you, but you seem to be reasonably well. How are you feeling, anyway?"  
"I'm fine, Ellie. Better, now that we've talked."  
"Aww, you're a sweetie," I cooed, nuzzling into his arm affectionately. Bucky snorted, placing his metal hand gently on my head and rubbing softly.  
"Do you have a dress for the party yet?" I looked up at Bucky in horror.  
"Well, there goes my escape plan…"

I flew into my room in a panic. "Danni?! Danni, are you around?!"  
"Of course, Ellie," the maid responded, appearing in the doorway with an anxious expression on her face. "What is wrong? Are you ill?"  
"No! It's much worse! There's going to be a massive celebratory party, I'm the guest of both Thor _and_ Loki, and I haven't even _thought_ about a dress! What am I going to wear?! What am I going to do?! It's only one day away!" Danni giggled and I stared at her in astonishment. "What is so funny?!" I demanded.

"Ellie, both the princes made sure that you would have something to wear for exactly this reason." I blinked at her, panic subsiding in the wake of utter befuddlement.  
"What reason?" I asked at my usual volume.  
"You would be too busy watching over your friends and too modest to consider your own appearance, so they both made sure that the palace tailors had a gown for you. And Prince Thor has given you jewellery, too. Would you like to see what you will be wearing to the ball now? I have been waiting for you to wonder." Danni was looking at me with an excited expectation and I sighed, pushing my hair out of my face with a nod.  
"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Danni." Danira beamed at me and bounced over to the fancy old wardrobe in the corner of the room that I never thought about and threw open the doors. I gasped…

I could hear the sounds of a crowd as I walked along the corridors of the nobles' wing towards the room that led into the main hall. My hair was pulled back with the top tucked into a bun on the back of my skull and the bottom left to trail down my back in its loose, natural curls. I was wearing a burnt orange dress with a flowing skirt, long sleeves and a shallow cowl neck that glittered in the light. The jewellery Thor had found for me was a silver filigree comb for my hair, a silver drop on a matching chain and round, silver dangly earrings, all quite simple, which suited me. My eyes were shadowed with a mahogany brown and my lips were a natural pink colour.

When I arrived in the antechamber, the others were already gathered, minus Thor and Loki. I exchanged my affectionate greetings with everyone and we waited until the two Asgardians arrived. Thor greeted us all enthusiastically, paying particular attention to Jane in her silver-white gown. I kept my place near the wall, observing everyone with caring amusement as they socialised before we had to make our appearances in the main hall with everyone else. A stillness in the room caught my focus and I looked over to meet Loki's unwavering gaze. He smirked, inclining his head, and I smiled, fluttering my fingers at him in a subtle wave. The hall doors were opened and we all filed into the room to cheers and applause. I enjoyed the festive atmosphere as I wandered through the swirling crowds and Thor, Loki, Jane, Sif, the Three and the Avengers sat at the table on the raised dais before the throne, occasionally mingling, but always returning to their places of honour. I preferred to blend into the crowds, listening to the conversations in the room and waiting for the perfect moment to make my play.

I was near a group of noble Asgardian women, replenishing my tea from the drink table, when I heard one of them say, "Loki does not look well. And Prince Thor seems quite concerned by it." I moved closer to the group, looking up at the brothers as Thor tried to offer Loki some food and he refused it with a languid flourish of his hand, looking down at his still full wine glass.  
"Do you think he's sick?" Another woman wondered.  
"He is," I confirmed, startling the girls. The turned to stare at me as I kept my gaze trained on Loki.  
"Lady Ellie," one woman exclaimed quietly.  
"It is not contagious or anything," I assured them distractedly, waving my hand dismissively. "He's just burnt himself out because he was too concerned with the fate of Asgard to look after himself."  
"Burnt out?" a younger woman prompted hesitantly after a pause.

"It was Loki who devised the strategy that won us the war after all his attempts at diplomacy were met with hostility. When he was wounded saving my life, he refused to rest long enough for his injuries to heal because he wanted to help care for the displaced and rebuild their homes. He was using his magic to assist the reconstruction, as well as overseeing the planning, building and supply of the shelters. But because he didn't give himself enough time, his wounds reopened, and instead of seeking help and allowing himself to rest, he used his magic to hold himself together until his energy failed and he collapsed. He's been dealing with official documents from his room for the past week now, even during his forced recuperation. Loki is extremely dedicated to the good of Asgard… But I probably shouldn't have mentioned it," I remarked coyly, smiling at my listeners bashfully. "Ignore me. Have a lovely night." I bobbed a polite curtsey and slipped away to watch from a discreet distance.

The group of women started whispering amongst themselves as two others joined them before one by one they branched off and started quiet conversations with others in the room. I smirked in satisfaction, slowly making my way along the outskirts of the room towards the head table and standing in the shadows of the drapes behind them. I watched as the murmurs spread through the room, interspersed with glances at Loki, so that eventually he noticed and frowned slightly in confusion. Fandral, who had been circulating through the crowd, now joined Thor and Loki. "They're all talking about what happened with Loki, in the battle and afterwards."  
"But how would they know?" Thor wondered, shaking his head in befuddlement. "I didn't tell anyone, and you Three or Sif didn't mention anything."  
"We haven't," Fandral agreed.  
"None of the Avengers have said anything, have they, Captain?"  
"I doubt it; we haven't done much socialising here," Steve replied from his place at Thor's left. "Anyway, why would we?"

"It was Ellie," Loki announced suddenly, eyes scanning the crowd intently. "Ellie told them."  
"I happened to mention it to a small group of women, yes," I confirmed, stepping out from my shelter to stand behind Loki's shoulder. He started slightly, looking up at me with a raised eyebrow. "Just watch; gossip will be much more effective in garnering you favour with the people than any number of dry, official speeches. The people like to think that they knew something important before they were supposed to; it makes them feel clever. They'll be more inclined to feel good about your accomplishments and sacrifices if they are already feeling good about themselves."  
"You've put a lot of thought into this," Loki commented pensively. I nodded, laying my hand on the back of his chair casually and looking out over the crowd.  
"Of course. I want you to succeed, Loki. I am always thinking of ways to help you." Loki smirked, lifting his hand to cover mine briefly and turning his gaze to the room.

"Well, I suppose I should make it official, now that everyone already knows," Thor sighed, standing. Silence spread through the room as I took the seat beside Loki. "It seems that most of you are already aware of my brother's accomplishments and sacrifices on your behalf, but I will elaborate. Loki attempted to end our disputes with our enemies through negotiation, but his efforts were met with hostility and we were attacked on our last diplomatic mission. When that failed, it was Loki who planned our strategy for defending Asgard, protecting our civilians and vanquishing our enemies with minimal casualties. During the mission to destroy enemy leadership, Loki was gravely wounded saving Lady Ellie, who later went on to finish the mission and blew up the enemies' command ships. It was weeks before we knew that Loki would survive his injuries, and then he was almost immediately working on sheltering the displaced and rebuilding their homes. However, in his eagerness to assist, Loki neglected to give himself enough time to recover from his injuries and fell gravely ill. Even during his forced recovery, he was overseeing the official documents relating to the shelters and reconstructions. And I believe that dedication to Asgard deserves recognition."

Thor raised his goblet and cheers erupted through the hall. Loki smirked and bowed his head in polite acknowledgement of their praise. When the cheering faded, Thor placed his goblet on the table again with a sigh. "You all know that I refused the throne when Odin offered it to me after the Convergence. It is my intention to renounce my claim again, but in so doing, the throne would pass to my brother, Loki. Given all of his accomplishments and sacrifices, made on your behalf as befitting a ruler, I believe that this would be the best course of action, as my brother is willing to take on the responsibility of being your king. We put the decision to you, the people of Asgard. Will you accept Loki as your ruler?" I held my breath in the pause that followed, looking around intently before a clap echoed in the vast hall. Soon, that single clap was joined by another, and another, until the room was once again full of clapping.

Thor beamed in joy and relief, looking down at Loki affectionately as he looked out across the room with wide eyes, the only indication of his shock at being accepted by the people of Asgard as their new king. I smiled contentedly, laying my hand over his knee under the table. Loki surreptitiously covered my hand with his, tucking his fingers into my palm and squeezing gently. "We shall hold the coronation as soon as possible," Thor announced before seating himself and gripping Loki's shoulder, shaking him in a brotherly manner. Loki smiled at him with genuine warmth, returning his brother's grip with his own, making Thor laugh with uncontained happiness. Loki huffed a gentle laugh in response, looking out across the room again and squeezing my hand again.


	23. Coronation

The following weeks were busy for the Asgardians. Thor and Loki were both working on making arrangements for the coronation, and Loki was still much occupied with the politics of Asgard. He was meeting constantly with powerful political figures, reading documents, and he started disappearing frequently. I hardly saw him for the next couple of weeks, and every time I did, he was either surrounded by officials so I couldn't get close to him, or he was too busy just then and would talk to me later. But he never did.

"Thor," I called, chasing after the Asgardian down a hallway where I had caught sight of him. Thor turned at my voice and smiled.  
"Ellie," he greeted warmly. "I am rather busy at the moment, but if you would like to meet me at midday, we might share a meal with Jane."  
"That would be lovely, Thor," I agreed. He nodded and stepped away slightly, but I halted him, saying, "But I would just like to ask you about Loki." Thor immediately grew concerned, facing me properly and giving me his full attention.  
"What of him?"  
"Do you know what he's doing? Every time I see him, he's too busy to talk to me, and he disappears for hours at a time…"

"He's been working on fixing Asgard, of course. But Loki has also been making journeys to Midgard; that is where he disappears to. He will not tell me the reason for these visits, however. Do you think there is something wrong?" I sighed tiredly, rubbing my eyes.  
"There's always something wrong with Loki, Thor. But he won't tell me until he is ready. Still, I'll see if I can catch him before bed tonight. Thank you; I'll see you for lunch."  
"Tell me if there is anything I can do, Ellie," Thor requested as we both walked away from each other.

When I opened Loki's bedchamber door, he was standing before the mirror in only his trousers, probing the flesh around the arrow wounds in his abdomen gingerly. He turned at the light from the hallway and blinked at me. "Ellie."  
"Do you have time now?" I questioned dryly, crossing my arms impatiently.  
"I was about to retire," Loki protested smoothly. "It has been a long day… Though, of course, you would be welcome to join me for the night, My Dear," he added with a flash of that old mischief that I hadn't realised I missed. I snorted, rolling my eyes with a smirk.  
"Keep dreaming, Princeling." Loki shrugged indifferently.  
"Please yourself." He picked up a ceramic jar from the nightstand and smoothed the balm across the stitched, puckered, still raw lines, grimacing as he did, hissing. I stepped closer, watching closely. Loki picked up the bandage and started twining it around himself awkwardly. I sighed, seizing the cloth from him, rewinding what he had undone. He sighed wearily; I felt his breath in my hair as I started wrapping him myself.  
"You are taking care of yourself, aren't you, Loki?" I asked, looking down at the angry, red marks across his svelte belly, a little more emaciated than I liked to see him.

"Yes, Ellie. I am quite well."  
"Are you sure?" I prodded. "You've lost mass; fat and muscle both, I can see."  
"I have given you my answer, Miss Carter; do not try my patience," Loki replied curtly. I fell silent, thinning my lips and carefully binding his middle, securing the end of the bandage. I turned on my heel and left without another word or backwards glance, carelessly flinging the door shut behind myself. Loki did not want to talk to me, and I had no desire to make him. Just as I reached the turn to the hallway where my room was, a hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me around. I looked up at Loki sharply and he bent over me, kissing my hair.  
"Thank you, Ellie. Goodnight." Loki released his hold on me and stalked away to his own room. I sighed tiredly, rubbing at my eyes as I continued on my way. That was the last time I spoke to Loki before the day of the coronation…

Danira had done my hair for me so it was pulled up in soft curls, held in place with glittering golden pins and threads. There were curls left to frame my face and gold string cuffs dangling from my ears; my lips were dark red and my eyes were streaked with kohl and dusted with gold. My long, wine red velvet skirts rustled as I walked, muffling the sounds of my little gold slippers against the marble floor. My bodice was fitted closely, laced up the back with crimson silk ribbon, and the off-the-shoulder straps formed a shallow v across my décolletage and a golden belt was around my waist, sharp lines falling down to cradle my hips. I waited with everyone in the hall at the base of the steps leading up to the throne where Thor stood in his winged helmet, awaiting the arrival of Loki. Everyone around me was chattering excitedly, or worriedly, depending on their views of the coronation and any residual misgivings they had. Finally, the muted trumpets started playing and everyone turned as the double doors at the end of the hall were opened to reveal Loki.

He stood for a moment, looking up to where his brother towered at the throne he had so dearly longed for. A long-sleeved, emerald cloak trailing behind him, gold threads glittering in the rich material. His dark hair was left to fall in lush waves to his shoulders bar a neat braid by the left side of his face, bound with a little gold bead underneath his elegantly shaped, horned helmet. He wore an emerald undershirt beneath a tightly-fitted, black leather jerkin with an elaborately carved gold and ruby fastening across the chest. His breeches and boots were both black leather, and he looked tall and proud, strutting solemnly and confidently down the length of the room, up the stairs, and taking a knee before the throne, bowing his head.

"Loki of Asgard, my brother, do you swear to guard the Nine Realms?" Thor asked in his booming voice, looking down at Loki seriously. Loki raised his head, returning Thor's piercing gaze with his own wide, surprisingly earnest one.  
"I swear," Loki confirmed gently.  
"And do you swear to preserve the peace?"  
"I swear."  
"Do you swear to cast aside your selfish ambitions and to pledge yourself only to the good of the Realms?"  
"I swear."  
"On this day, I, Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard, proclaim you King." Loki stood gracefully, looking Thor in the eye steadily and he smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Brother."

Loki smiled brightly, nodding to Thor, and turned to face the congregation as the room erupted in cheers, music and applause. I cheered along with the rest, clapping enthusiastically as Loki cast his gaze over the room, laughing breathlessly, his face lighter than I had ever seen it. After all those centuries of neglect… of mistrust… of rejection… Loki was finally receiving the respect and acceptance that he had so desired. And it suited him well. The ball following the coronation was spectacular. Loki was, naturally, the centre of attention. All the nobility were eager to express their congratulations and support, and I waited my turn patiently, lingering at the edge of the group as lords and ladies came and went whilst Loki slowly meandered through the room, greeting his subjects courteously. Finally, there was a small gap and I slipped through the group to stand by Loki's elbow cheerfully. "Ellie," Loki greeted with the same, polite smile he had given to everyone else.  
"Congratulations, Loki. You finally have everything you've worked towards for so long." Loki bowed his head in agreement.

"Aye; that I have. And, of course, I am grateful to you for all your assistance to me; you and the rest of Thor's friends." I was a little taken aback by Loki's careless, impersonal manner, blinking in confusion as he turned his attention to a pair of new arrivals. "Ah, Lady Meerian; are you enjoying the party?"  
"Very much, thank you, Your Majesty," the older Asgardian woman responded with a curtsey. Loki turned his sights onto the younger woman beside her and tilted his head attentively.  
"And this must be the accomplished daughter I have heard so much about. Lady Kittren, is it not?"  
"Kitty, Your Majesty," the young woman confirmed with a nod, executing her own graceful curtsey.  
"That is a beautiful gown, My Lady." The young woman blushed prettily, bowing her head.  
"Thank you, My King." Loki smiled again before glancing at me.

"I'm sorry, Ellie. Was there anything else?"  
"No, Your Majesty, but you have not dismissed me," I responded formally, my hands folded demurely in front of myself.  
"Please; go and enjoy the celebrations," Loki laughed flippantly, waving his hand over me.  
"Thank you, Sire," I acknowledged, curtseying and retreating quickly as Loki continued his socialising. I looked around to locate my friends. Sif and the Three were entertaining the crowd with tales of their heroics, Steve was talking animatedly with Sharon, both making a concerted effort to include Bucky in their conversation. Natasha and Clint were dancing together contentedly. Bruce was vigilantly monitoring Tony's alcohol intake whilst happily discussing some science that was far beyond my ken with him, Selvig and Ian. Thor was happily engaged with Jane, Heimdall and another large group of Asgardians. And as Eric had returned to Midgard weeks ago, I was left quite alone to observe quietly, sipping my drink. I was relieved to not have anyone to entertain, but I did feel rather like the spectre at the feast…

Just before midnight, I noticed Loki slip out onto a quiet balcony. It was not long before he was followed by the beautiful Kitty. However, it was only a moment before she went back inside. Another woman went out, only to return swiftly, and a handful of other women went out to meet Loki at different times only to go back to the party within moments. I watched as no other women went out, and waited, expecting Loki to re-emerge once he had taken his fill of fresh air. And waited. And waited. After ten minuted passed since he had gone out, I started to grow concerned, considering approaching Thor to check on his brother. But perhaps that would draw unwanted attention to Loki; particularly if he was unwell. I sighed, chewing my lip thoughtfully for a few moments before deciding to venture discreetly out myself. I slipped around the edges of the room, unnoticed, and walked onto the balcony using the opposite door which Loki had gone through. I stood just outside, looking at Loki where he stood, gazing out over his kingdom with his hands on the marble balcony railing.

I stepped further out, my skirts rustling, and Loki turned his face to me coolly before sighing heavily and bowing his head, hunching slightly over his hands. "I was beginning to think that you would not come to me," he muttered. I arched a brow at that.  
"It did not seem to me as though you were lacking in companions, Loki. And with the way you've been ignoring me recently, would you have been surprised?" Loki straightened, turning to me with wide eyes.  
"Ignoring you? No, never that. But I am the king now, Ellie. Things are different."  
"Of course!" I exclaimed softly. "I understand completely. You are the King of Asgard; you are much occupied with your many lords and _ladies_. You no longer have time to waste on a simple Midgardian girl; naturally our relationship dynamics must be changed now that you have so many important duties to attend to." Loki sighed wearily, looking down and running his hand across his abdomen.

"Ellie," he groaned.  
"Yes, Your Majesty," I replied instantly, staring at Loki with blank-faced obedience. Loki looked up at me quickly, shaking his head.  
"Ellie, no. Don't call me that," he ordered sharply.  
"No, Sire." Loki's face took on a pained expression as he stepped closer to me.  
"Ellie, please; it isn't like that. I don't want to be your king; I am not your king. I don't want this to change us that way. Please, Ellie. Don't do this to me."

"I didn't," I responded emotionlessly. "You did. I was always there for you, Loki. You didn't want me anymore. You have everything you have ever desired now; a throne, power, recognition, respect. Even love, I think." Loki shook his head slowly.  
"I never meant for you to feel neglected, Ellie. I swear it was not my intention to wound you. I am sorry that I took your presence for granted; I thought you knew how heavily it is that I rely on your support." I blinked, Loki's honest apology thawing my cool formality. I sighed, crossing my arms casually.  
"You were waiting for me, it seems," I remarked gently. Loki nodded.  
"Yes, I was… I have been to Midgard, Ellie."  
"I know; Thor told me," I said. Loki looked me over sharply.  
"Did he tell you why?" I shook my head.

"He didn't know." Loki nodded slowly, sighing softly.  
"Good… Good…" He groaned faintly, curling his lip slightly and bending at the waist with his arm locked around his belly.  
"You are ill," I commented, frowning worriedly. Loki shook his head, taking a deep breath and straightening.  
"I am well enough… Now, I had some research to do; research on traditional Midgardian customs. I wanted to get this right." A tingle ran along my spine, but I shook it off. Loki could not mean what it sounded like.  
"If you were curious about Midgard, you could have asked me, Loki." Loki shook his head, shifting restlessly.  
"No; that is not the way these matters are attended to, Ellie. I went to Midgard, and found your heritage to be rather mixed; different races and cultures run through your blood. However, my observations of you lead me to believe that you most strongly associate with your English heritage."  
"I do," I confirmed, now thoroughly befuddled. "But why did you wish to know about my heritage?"

"I wanted to know which approach would be the most appreciated by you," Loki told me simply. "Now, traditionally, women were viewed as property, and whilst I do not believe that anyone possessed of their full faculties would dare to view you as an item of belonging, I do know that you place a strong value on family ties… I spoke to your father; he was… far less receptive than I had hoped he would be," Loki muttered bitterly, narrowing his eyes and lowering his gaze before looking up at me again. "But I decided that I must continue even so. I understand that a ring is the traditional token given at this moment; a gold band set most commonly with diamonds." I suddenly found that I had lost all feeling in my body; I did not even know if I was breathing or not. Loki held up his hand and a green light pooled in his palm before disappearing, leaving behind a box covered in black velvet. "But you are not a common woman," he continued, running his fingertip across the velvet hesitantly.

"I wanted something with a more personal connection to us both. I know that you love colour, and white would be far too dull for you. You know that my preferred colour is emerald, and it did not take me long to discover that you were born in July, making your birthstone the Ruby. So, with this in mind, I created this…" Loki carefully opened the box as I bit my cheeks, showing me a gold and silver band which circled around three stones; the centre a smooth, oval emerald with a smaller, diamond-cut ruby on either side of it, set into the woven metals so that it was not too raised. "I know you dislike ostentatious jewellery; you find it cumbersome and tacky. But I know you like braiding and filigree, so I thought this design would better suit your tastes." Loki lowered himself gracefully to one knee at my feet, looking up at me with nervous, hopeful eyes, swallowing.

"Ellie Jean Carter, will you grant me my final, and dearest, wish, and consent to give me your hand in marriage?" he questioned, enunciating each word slowly and clearly. I felt as though I had been punched in the solar plexus as I already knew what my answer must be.  
"No," I whispered. Loki sucked in a sharp breath, standing immediately.  
"I did something wrong," he said blankly, staring at me. I shook my head rapidly.  
"No!" I exclaimed gently, cupping his face in my hands desperately. "No, you did everything so perfectly; I would not have believed it possible!"  
"Then you love another," Loki responded, still in the same, blank tone. "The Captain; he has already claimed your affections."  
"No," I told him firmly. "Whatever existed between me and Steve has long since faded, if it ever really was to begin with." Loki swallowed before speaking again, a single tear sliding down his left cheek.

"But you do not love me."  
"I _do_ love you, Loki. Honestly and truly. You are not to blame for this… I am at fault."  
"You?" Loki echoed lowly. I nodded quickly, staring into his eyes.  
"I won't marry you because I am… cruel and selfish, Loki. I would deny you happiness for my own sake," I confessed, letting my hands slip away from him and lowering my head in shame.  
"Who told you this?" Loki demanded, a sudden rage in his hissing voice as he squeezed the ring box so tightly his knuckles were white. "Who would dare to put such a falsehood into your mind?" I met his eyes again in alarm.  
"No one, Loki! It is the truth, and I am saying it!" Loki furrowed his brow in puzzlement, slowly shaking his head, swaying slightly in an almost serpentine manner.

"I do not understand," he growled softly, meeting my gaze steadily. "You are the kindest, most generous person I have ever known, besides Frigga." I bit my lips, lowering my eyes and shaking my head again.  
"No, Loki. I can't be."  
"Ellie, tell me what is wrong," Loki groaned as if in physical pain.  
"I will not marry you, because I want to be someone's One and Only." Loki pushed my chin up so that I had no choice but to look into his eyes.  
"You do not trust me to be faithful to you; after everything we have endured together!" he accused, hurt plain on his face.  
"I trust you, Loki… But you will outlive me by centuries. I will wither and die, and you will find someone else. Or you will live the rest of your life alone. I could not condemn you to such a life… but I could not stand it if you married another…" I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. "I am selfish, Loki. Selfish and cruel. And I cannot marry you."

"This is your only objection to our union?" Loki questioned softly, releasing my jaw, and I frowned in confusion, looking at him.  
"Of course; but it is more than enough for me to deny you, as much as it hurts us both." Loki smiled at me warmly, shaking his head.  
"No, Mouse. I have a solution. One of the reasons why I was so busy leading up to the coronation is because I was looking for something; something I found that renders your protestation moot. I, too, am selfish, My Dear. I would not wish to live a day without you. I have found a spell that will bind your life to mine; our energies will be linked so that as long as I am living, so shall you be. With the power of my magic, which is intrinsically a part of my being, you will age as I do, so we need never live one without the other, provided nothing untoward happens to either. Even so, I would die before I saw your life extinguished, so I would still remain loyal to you. And after your natural time is spent, your life force would end with mine." I blinked at Loki in astonishment, my mouth slightly agape.

"You can do that?"  
"I can, and I will, if you accept me."  
"I would outlive everyone I know on Midgard; my friends and relatives… my baby sister." Loki looked regretful, tilting his head.  
"Yes, Mouse. They would live their natural lives whilst yours is extended. But I would have you, and I would give you all that I could to secure your happiness… I would give you all of myself; my very _soul_ would be yours to keep. And I would cherish you as my greatest treasure; the best of my self…" Loki took hold of my hand, squeezing it in his own, trembling. "Please say yes," he begged huskily, staring deeply into my eyes.

"Yes," I responded simply, biting my lip. Loki's lips parted as he exhaled in shock, eyes wide. "Yes, Princeling; I will marry you."  
"You will?" he whispered. I nodded, grinning with my lip still trapped between my teeth.  
"I will." Loki smiled widely, laughing in sheer joy, and lowered himself to one knee again, taking the ring from the box, which vanished in a flash of green light, and carefully fitting the band onto my ring finger. He looked up at me, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles before standing, cupping the side of my face in his hand and bending to lightly mold his lips to mine, drawing my hand to his belly, sliding his other hand across my waist to settle in the small of my back supportively as my free hand rested against the back of his neck under his hair. He pulled away from me slightly, gently drawing on my lips as he did, and took a shaky breath, still just in contact with me. "I love you, Ellie," he murmured, giving me another endearing, chaste kiss. "Honestly and truly." I just smiled, laughing faintly and stepping closer to Loki, laying my head on his chest and keeping my eyes closed as his arm curled tighter around my back, his heartbeat thudding steadily through his clothes.

We went back inside, my hand with the ring with tucked in the crook of Loki's elbow. Suddenly, Heimdall broke from the rest of the crowd, stalking slowly and powerfully towards us, drawing the attention of everyone else with his sombre demeanour. Loki stared up at the taller man guardedly whilst I curled my fingers in slight nervousness as the gatekeeper halted before us, staring down at us ominously. After a brief silence where everyone waited, unsure of Heimdall's motivations, the intimidating guard spoke, his voice gentle and strong. "My King, Lady Ellie, it is my honour to be the first to congratulate you on your engagement." I giggled in relief, looking up at my fiancé as he smiled at Heimdall, accepting his extended hand.  
"Thank you, Heimdall. We appreciate your support," Loki replied warmly. Suddenly, the room was a blur of sound and motion as everyone reacted to the news. Thor, Sif, the Three and the Avengers all swamped us, offering their heartfelt congratulations, embracing us both with loving enthusiasm. All the while, Loki kept a gentle, yet firm grip on my hand, his thumb caressing the ring…


	24. Fears

The next morning, I awoke and stared at the ring glittering on my finger until a soft knock tapped against my door. "Come in," I sighed contentedly, looking over to see who it was. A woman I did not recognise entered and curtseyed respectfully.  
"Lady Ellie. I am here to draw your morning bath." I sat up, frowning in confusion.  
"Who are you?" I wondered.  
"Locretia, My Lady."  
"Where is Danira?" I asked.  
"Danira has been relocated, My Lady. She is only a simple maid, which was acceptable before; but now that you are to be Queen of Asgard, she is not of a high enough standing to…"

"Thank you; I have heard enough," I interrupted, lifting my hand. "I am certain that you are a nice woman, and very capable at your job, but I am fond of Danira and would see her returned to me. Thank you." I stared at the woman blankly and she thinned her lips disapprovingly, curtseying and leaving the room. I sighed, flopping back against my pillows again and lifting my ring before my face, pushing it around my finger and watching the light play across the surfaces. There was a quick tapping on my door and I smiled, sitting up. "Come in." Danira entered quickly, smiling at me widely.  
"Good morning, Lady Ellie!" She greeted cheerfully.  
"Danni!" I exclaimed, throwing off my blankets and springing from the bed to stand before her in my nightgown. "They tried to take you away from me; can you believe it?!" Danni giggled, nodding.

"That is the way of things in Asgard, Ellie. But I knew you'd take me back. So… you are to marry the king?" Danni bounced on her toes eagerly and I laughed, jumping on the spot in giddy exhilaration.  
"I'm getting married!" We both squealed and I threw my arms around the maid. She wrapped her arms around me and we pranced around in a little circle, laughing excitedly.  
"I cannot believe that you are going to be the Queen of Asgard! _My_ Lady Ellie! The Queen! Married to Loki the Trickster!" We pulled away from each other and Danni shook her head wonderingly. "I always thought Prince Loki was terrifying," she told me softly.  
"Oh, he is," I replied immediately. Danni blinked at me, taken aback. "Loki can be truly frightening when he wishes to be. He is a dangerous man."  
"But… if you think that, then… Ellie, why…"  
"Marry him? Because if I have one of the most treacherous, powerful beings in the Nine Realms watching over me, there is very little I need fear, is there? Loki will not hurt me; particularly not once I belong to him."

Danni hesitated before voicing her concern. "Ellie, he does love you, does he not? There are those who may exist contentedly in a loveless marriage, but I could not abide that for you, though I am bold in saying so." I laughed cheerfully, shaking my head.  
"I am touched by your care for me, Danni. Yes, Loki loves me, and I love him. He is a beautiful man; dangerous and protective, calculating and emotional, enduring and breakable, beastly and gentle. Bittersweet. You know only of the monster. You do not know Loki." I blinked, giggling as I realised how I had been staring absentmindedly at the skirting board. "Listen to me prattling; what a bride I must make." Danni looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before speaking.  
"Should I run your bath now?"

When I found Loki, he was in his chambers, but it was different. Instead of having the heavy velvet curtains drawn, shutting out the light, they were thrown wide. The balcony doors that I hadn't known existed were open, admitting fresh air to the usually musty room, and details that I couldn't have seen before were visible, including furniture and bookshelves and a deep emerald carpet patterned with black swirls. Loki was sitting in black linen trousers on a dark red and ebony lounge with his legs folded, one knee up, as he read through papers on the ebony coffee table before him, sipping tea from a delicate china cup. His torso was bare apart from the bandage wrapped around his abdomen, and his hair was left unbound. I smiled, leaning against the doorframe and watching Loki work, making notes on some papers, signing off on others. He reached for his cup again and glanced up at me, blinking in surprise. "Ellie!"

"The first time we met, we stabbed each other," I remarked quietly. Loki smiled, chuckling softly, looking down.  
"I remember."  
"I never would have imagined we'd end up here," I continued, pushing myself away from the doorframe and walking closer. "I would have thought it more likely that I would perish by your hand than be saved by it. Yet how many times has that happened now?"  
"Individually, or by battle?" Loki inquired lightly, resting one arm on his knee as he looked up at me. I giggled, rolling my eyes.  
"Of course you keep a record."  
"Only so I know how much I owe you." I shook my head.

"You don't owe me anything, Loki."  
"I owe you everything, Little Mouse. Everything I now have came because of you."  
"Not at all, Princeling. You have earned this by your own endeavours. Yes, I supported you, but I can only build on what you give me. Everything I have done has been in reaction to you. You are responsible for your own successes; I only smoothed the way a little bit," I shrugged casually. "It is fortunate that you altered your plans when you did. If you had continued down the path you were on when we met, I doubt that either of us would be alive now." Loki tilted his head curiously, eyes tightening just enough to sharpen his appearance.  
"You think we would both be dead?" he hummed coolly. I smiled, tilting my head in response.  
"You would have killed me, Loki. And the Avengers would have killed you; not even they believe in third chances."

Loki sighed, tucking his hair behind his ear and looking back at his papers, letting his leg drape over the edge of the lounge. "I cannot argue." Loki looked up at me hesitantly and held out his arms to me. I grinned, stepping closer and allowing him to pull me down onto his lap, settling me comfortably and curling his arm around my waist. His free hand took my left and lifted it so he could see the ring glittering on my finger in the sunlight. He stared at the ring pensively for a moment as I watched his face before he drew my arm back and brushed a kiss over the ring and across my fingers, turning his face to mine and kissing my jaw just under my ear. He linked both arms around my waist, pressing his lips against the back of my shoulder and staying there, looking at the papers on the desk again. I giggled contentedly, tilting my head to rest against his scalp, picking up his cup and sipping the tea myself. Loki snorted a gentle laugh, his breath tickling my clavicle, and leaned forward to pick up one of the papers, turning his attention back to his work.

"Loki?"  
"Mm?"  
"How do surnames work in Asgard? Will I be a Laufeyson, too, or will I keep my own name, or what?" I felt Loki's lips curl against my skin as he smiled.  
"You will be Lokiwife," he informed me happily.  
"Can I hyphenate? Ellie Carter-Lokiwife?" I wondered, turning my head to meet his eyes.  
"You may if you wish," he allowed softly. "I would like for you to take my name."  
"I want to, I just don't want to lose my own. When will we marry?" Loki sighed, shifting to toss the papers back onto the table and straightening his posture, turning me so we could look at each other more easily.

"When would you like to be married, My Dear?" he asked.  
"As soon as we can be," I replied plainly. "We have had so many challenges and interruptions throughout our relationship; I'd rather marry you before the next crisis arises." Loki smirked, huffing a quiet laugh.  
"You may be right. But we shall need time to prepare."  
"Two weeks from today, then," I said firmly. Loki lifted his brows, laughing outright.  
"My, we are eager," he cooed, bouncing me on his knee. I frowned, pouting slightly.  
"Aren't you?" I wondered. Loki sobered, gazing down at me seriously before leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against my forehead.  
"Tuesday fortnight, then," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in the hair at my scalp.

"We will get married on Asgard, will we not?" I asked, listening to his steady heartbeat. Loki took a deep breath.  
"I had no thought of our marrying anywhere else. I am certainly not in any hurry to return to Midgard, after what happened with your father." I giggled, sitting back to look at Loki's face.  
"Let me talk to my father. He only wants what is best for me; I just have to explain to him that that is you." Loki smiled softly, stroking my hair affectionately.  
"Which of your friends would you trust to help us with our wedding planning?" he asked. I tilted my head thoughtfully, chewing my lip.  
"Probably Steve, actually. Maybe Clint. They're the most sensible and understated members of the group. Well, apart from Bruce, but I'd rather avoid stressing him."

"Not the Spider?" Loki asked. I shook my head.  
"I don't think this is Natasha's sort of thing. If you wanted to plan a murder, however, she's your girl." Loki chuckled again. "Then there's Sharon, my not-quite-cousin. She knows the sort of thing I'd like; rustic and elegant." Loki nodded, still gazing at me fondly.  
"We shall make it so." There was a whirring sound and I looked over my shoulder to see Thor landing on the balcony.  
"Brother, we need to talk." Loki narrowed his eyes slightly, picking me up and setting me down beside himself, leaning towards Thor and laying his arm on the armrest.  
"What is this about?" he inquired calmly. Thor glanced at me and back at his brother uncertainly.  
"It is about your marriage." Loki tensed, sitting straight and staring at Thor coldly.  
"You object to my taking Miss Carter as my bride?" Thor shook his head, sighing heavily.

"I do not object, but I do have… concerns…" Loki turned his head to peer at Thor from the corners of his eyes.  
"Go on," he allowed in a low tone.  
"Your lifespans, Loki," Thor stated firmly. "Midgardians do not last…" Thor paused when Loki smirked again, relaxing.  
"That is already taken care of, Thor. When I am wed to Ellie, I shall cast a spell linking her life force to mine." Thor blinked in surprise, looking between the two of us.  
"You can do that?"  
"Yes," Loki confirmed, reaching behind himself and taking my hand. "It is one of the things we discussed before she agreed to marry me."

"And Jane?" Thor asked. Loki's grip on my hand tightened.  
"What?"  
"Will you do the same for me and Jane?" There was an apprehensive pause before Loki replied.  
"I am sorry, Thor. I cannot." Thor's reaction was unexpected and violent. He grabbed Loki by his shoulders, hauling him to his feet with a vicious snarl. I yelped, leaping to my feet.  
"You cannot?! You _will_ not! You still wish to punish me!"  
"Thor, Brother, it is not like that!" Loki protested, grabbing at his hands and attempting to free himself. Thor growled, yanking Loki around roughly, ignoring my exclamations.  
"Thor, stop it! Let him go!"

"I know I neglected you in the past, but I have always loved you, Loki! Now you would deny me my own happiness for the sake of revenge?! You have the throne, what more do you require?!"  
"Thor, I want no vengeance!"  
"THEN WHY?!" Thor roared, forcing Loki backwards towards the balcony. "Why would you torment me thus?!" Loki struggled in Thor's grasp, knocking them both into one of the bookshelves as I looked around frantically. Thor growled as the books showered them and shoved Loki into the door before taking him by the throat and driving him back again.  
"THOR, DON'T YOU DARE!" I screamed. Once again I was ignored as he pushed Loki back against the railing, forcing him to bend backwards, clawing at Thor's arms, eyes wide in alarm and pain as he resisted.  
"Thor… Brother, _please_..." Thor's eyes widened and he released Loki, backing away from him immediately. I dropped the quill I had been about to stab Thor with and rushed over to where Loki was slumped against the railing, doubled over with one arm wrapped around his belly.

I put my hand on his shoulder and Loki grimaced, panting and looking up at Thor where he stood frozen by the doors, staring at him. "Loki, I… I'm so sorry." Loki shook his head.  
"I understand, Thor. I would have done the same, if I ever thought you meant to keep my love from me… I am sorry, Brother," Loki murmured, swallowing. "I can bind myself to Ellie by my magic, but you have no magic purely your own to bind with Jane. There is nothing I can do." Loki winced, pushing his hand against his abdomen and I sighed, covering it with my own.  
"Come and sit," I instructed gently. Loki nodded, sliding his arm over my shoulders and leaning against me as we made our way back inside. I settled Loki on the lounge as Thor lingered just inside the doorway. I frowned at the spots of blood seeping through the bandage and shook my head, smoothing Loki's hair out of his face caringly.

"I shall fetch a healer." Loki nodded and I straightened. Instead of going to the inner door, I approached Thor and punched him firmly on the jaw, knocking his head sideways. He hissed, lifting his hand to his mouth where his lip was bleeding and I scowled at him.  
"If you ever hurt him again, I will hurt you far worse. I promise." I turned on my heel and stalked towards the door until Loki's voice made me pause.  
"And how would you have responded when presented with the possibility of having what you longed for, My Dear?" I took a deep breath, staring into the empty corridor through the door.  
"The last time I was in such a situation, I ended up imprisoned by those who gave it me. And if not for the help of my friends, I would still be jailed now. Are you sure that you want to play this game with me, Loki?" I challenged, turning my head to look at him over my shoulder. "I know where your desires led you, too." Loki bowed his head in acceptance and I left the room.

I worked with not only Loki, but Thor, Sharon and the palace staff to make preparations for the wedding. Whilst I was enjoying the feeling of having our visions for the ceremony and celebrations realised, there was one part that I was particularly fond of; something that Loki knew nothing of. The dress. It was tremendous fun for me to go to fittings with the palace tailors, Danira joining me faithfully; choosing fabrics, picking a style, trying the gown on, making the alterations, designing hair and make-up to go with it…

The big day drew ever nearer, and at the same time as I was impatient, I was also anxious. This would be a life-altering moment for me, and I was concerned as to how it might affect my circumstances. Still, I had managed to convince my father that Loki was exactly what I needed in my life, and he had finally consented to give me away, albeit reluctantly. I had also brought my sister to Asgard to assist with preparations; of the two of us, Tabby was the more practically-minded. She knew how to organise an event, and with style, too. Even though the Avengers and my betrothed were aware that I had a sister, I believe that it was a little unnerving for them to find that there were actually two of us. Tabby, Sharon and I found it quite amusing, watching the way other people reacted when we had conversations in half-sentences and noises that meant nothing to anyone else, or the way we often spoke at exactly the same time with exactly the same phrasing.

I entered Loki's chambers the Tuesday before the wedding with a pile of cream cards in my hands to be used as formal invitations to the wedding. "Loki, does Asgard have a way to send out these invitations more swiftly through Midga... You're turning grey." I dropped the cards on the bed and loped over to where Loki stood at the mirror, leaning on his forearm against the ornate golden frame. I could see fine threads of grey bleeding through his white skin; the bandage lay discarded on the floor by his feet with his tunic and undershirt. I placed my hand against his back, laying the other against the forearm he had pressed against his belly.  
"I feel ill," he mumbled, his pale lips edged with grey. Loki tilted his head and rested his forehead against my hairline.  
"Lie down," I commanded gently, guiding him over to the bed. He lowered himself stiffly onto the pillows, wincing, and I knelt on the bed beside him.

Loki took my hand and laid it against his abdomen, over his stomach. I sighed, shaking my head pityingly. "You still have problems with your stomach; I had thought the healers would have fixed that when they attended to your arrow wounds." Loki shook his head, looking at me through heavily-lidded blue eyes. "Perhaps we should have a healer see to you."  
"It is only scarring, Mouse. Nothing sinister."  
"But it causes you discomfort," I argued, rubbing his abdomen softly, being careful to avoid the still healing arrow wounds.  
"Only when I am already tense."  
"Why are you tense?" I wondered, shifting so I could lie down, curled up against his side with my head on his shoulder.

Loki sighed, sliding his arm around my back. "We are getting married, My Dear," he rumbled softly. I looked up at him intently, silent as I tried to read his expression.  
"You asked me, but if you no longer wish to…" Loki cut me off by pulling me closer so my chest was on his and lifting his face to press his lips against mine.  
"I want nothing more than to join my life with yours, Ellie. But… is it not natural for me to feel slightly apprehensive of everything that will entail? Are you experiencing no hesitancy yourself? Your life is about to change far more than mine, My Dear. Are you certain that you are ready for it?"  
"No, but I don't want one of those noblewomen to take you from me if I dither," I replied frankly. Loki laughed, rolling onto his side and pulling me down so he could fold both his arms around my waist, nuzzling into my shoulder affectionately. I smiled, twining my arms around his neck, combing my fingers through his soft hair contentedly, kissing his scalp.

"There is one aspect of marriage that I am particularly looking forward to," Loki purred, trailing his fingers lightly down my spine. I sighed, shifting away from him and avoiding eye contact as I pushed myself back onto my knees.  
"I think that is the part that frightens me the most. I have spent my life fighting to keep myself to myself, _against_ the views of modern society, because I did not wish to expose myself to that kind of vulnerability without being certain that the man I was with wanted me and not just my body." I glanced up at Loki's face before looking down again bashfully as he blinked wide eyes at me in shock.  
"You think I am only engaging you out of lust?" he asked in little more than a whisper, propping himself up on his elbows.  
"I don't know; I'm scared, Loki."

"Oh, Mouse," Loki breathed, sitting up and pulling me into a soft embrace, cradling me securely against his chest and swaying gently from side to side. "Don't be scared," he continued in the same, soft tone as before, burying his fingers in my hair. "You needn't do anything that you are unwilling to do. We can postpone the wedding if you are not ready; prolong our engagement. I'll not stray from you; in all my centuries, I've not given of myself to another. I can wait for you, Ellie. As long as you need."  
"Let's get married on Tuesday," I declared softly, sliding my arms around Loki's ribcage.  
"As you wish," Loki murmured, kissing my forehead, drawing my legs up over his lap so they rested against his belly and tucking my head under his chin. I smiled as the grey tints started fading from his skin and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of safety his careful hold on me induced as his heart beat slowly against my ear.  
"I'm glad we can share our fears like this," I hummed.  
"We are to be married, My Dear. Your fears are my fears now…"


	25. The Beginning and the End

p class="MsoNormal"The Sunday morning before the wedding, I walked into the little dining room and paused at the doorway. "Father. Loki. What's going on?" I asked upon finding them facing each other across the table. My father looked at me and smiled./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Nothing, my baby. Loki and I were just having a discussion." I quirked a brow, turning my gaze from him to Loki./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"He's trying to intimidate you, isn't he?" I questioned. Loki's smirk turned into a wicked grin as he stared my father down./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I believe so," he snickered. Father glared at Loki and I smiled, approaching him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Not to worry, Daddy," I assured him, kissing his cheek. "The Avengers will take care of that," I continued in a serious tone, looking at Loki blankly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"Loki bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Whilst it is true that I have a certain respect for their wrath, in truth, I am more afraid of you."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Good," I responded plainly. "You should be." I straightened, stealing Loki's toast, and loped out of the room with a careless smile. I heard Loki chuckle wearily and halted, listening./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I wish I could convince you that I am benign, as far as your daughter is concerned. You do not understand how desperately I rely on Ellie; how much I love her… The truth, Doctor Carter, is… is that I am terrified that at any moment now, she will realise how unworthy I am of her affections, and will run away with the honourable Captain America."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Well, what have you done in order to prove your worth to my daughter?" Father questioned. "Ellie is extremely selective about her company; the fact that she has agreed to marry you says something about you. So, what was it?" There was a momentary pause before Loki answered softly,/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""I don't know… Ellie and I have faced many conflicts and dangers together. We have fought with each other and for each other and beside each other. I have pushed her away from me, and she has shut me out, and we have spoken cruelly to one another on numerous occasions, and yet… At the end of all things, when the fighting is over, and all that is left is that… that hollow moment when you've grown too numb to feel the pain, but at the same time, pain is all you know… I always find my way to her. Ellie. My beautiful Little Mouse…" Loki drew in a sharp breath and continued. "I love your daughter, Doctor Carter. And I will always love her. I know I will, because where most couples fail is when they are faced with hardships that they are not strong enough to endure, but that is exactly how our relationship began. We met in conflict, and we have been forged in conflict. And there is none whom I would rather have by my side when things become difficult. Ellie is my strength, my power. And, believe me, Doctor, I am powerful."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;""And humble," Father remarked wryly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""As are you," Loki retorted. Father snorted in amusement. After a moment, he sighed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Loki, you have my blessing to marry my daughter."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Thank you, Doctor Carter," Loki murmured sincerely. "I know her father's blessing will mean much to Ellie."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You might as well call me Father, too, considering the situation." Loki laughed softly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"So, is this the wrong time to remind you that I am hundreds of years old, em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Father/em?" My father groaned, chuckling again./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"This is not what I pictured for my baby's wedding. But knowing El, I should have expected something along these lines. I always knew she would be extraordinary."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"And so she is," Loki agreed quietly. I smiled, content with their male bonding, and took a bite of toast, walking away./p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was a soft tapping on my door the night before my wedding as I sat before the vanity, looking at my veiled face. "Ellie, it's Loki."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You're not allowed to see me, Loki," I responded, standing and taking a few steps into the middle of the room. "You know the rules."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"And I would disregard them entirely, if it would not displease you," he retorted. There was a soft thump against the door as he leant against it, sighing. "What is the reason for your Midgardian superstitions?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Why tempt fate?" I replied, walking over to the door and brushing my fingers down the polished surface. "This particular superstition, I believe, was so that the participants in the wedding did not have the chance to look at their partner in an unattractive light and flee before the ceremony."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""As though I could ever consider you unattractive," Loki scoffed. I giggled, resting my forehead against the burnished wood. There was a pause before Loki spoke again. "Do you think me unattractive?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I've already answered that, Princeling. Think back." I waited for a few moments until Loki clicked his tongue./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Yes, of course. You called me em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"pretty/em."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You are pretty. Sometimes I think you might be prettier than I am, and that distresses me a little," I admitted. I heard Loki huff a faint laugh./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"If you must think me pretty, then I believe we are evenly matched, My Dear." I smiled, closing my eyes peacefully./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""Well, I like that idea," I hummed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are you nervous?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Terrified. You?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No. I was, but the more I think about it, the more I want this wedding to be over and done so we can simply settle into our lives together, now that we have decided to marry."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Makes sense," I acknowledged./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Why are you so afraid, Mouse?" Loki whispered. I sighed, turning my back to the door and sliding to sit at the foot./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Fear of the unknown. It is said that marriage changes everything. I don't know what to expect."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Shall I tell you what it is that I expect?" Loki offered softly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Go on," I consented. I heard his clothing whisper as he slid down the door on his side./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""I expect you to be the spirited, aggressive, tender-hearted woman you have been throughout our acquaintance. I expect you to fight me, and protect me, and love me as you have always done. And I expect to remain proud, calculating and protective of my Little Mouse; arguing with you and never allowing another soul to utter even a em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"word/em against you in my presence. After everything we have already suffered through, Ellie, I do not fear for us. My faith in you is absolute. Can you not try to have a little faith in me in return?" I sighed again, scratching my scalp./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You really think we'll be okay together?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I honestly and truly believe that you and I… Ellie, you and I are powerful. We will be excellent together. Honestly and truly."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""Honestly and truly," I echoed, smiling. "Compelling speech, Silver-Tongue."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are you certain that I mayn't see you for just one kiss before the wedding?" Loki wheedled./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Stop it," I reprimanded, laughing. "Go away, Loki. I have no time for your mischief." Loki snickered before I heard another voice speak./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Loki? What are you doing?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I am conversing with my betrothed, Stark." Tony laughed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Not even married yet, and you're already out in the doghouse, eh?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I assume that that is some form of punishment used by Midgardian women when displeased by their spouses," Loki drawled. "But I am not being punished… I don't think." I could hear the slight uncertainty in his voice and laughed./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""No, you aren't in trouble; I am increasing your love through suspense," I trilled./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Was five years not suspenseful enough for us both?" Loki inquired./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"One more night won't kill you, Loki."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"This is that whole 'no looking' tradition, isn't it?" Tony asked, amusement plain in his tone. Loki sighed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Have you ever been espoused?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Me? Nah; I'm a playboy, Rock of Ages. I don't go in for that 'forsaking all others' shtick."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Now I understand your loneliness," Loki murmured. "No one ever chose you above all others."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Loki, don't poke at my friends' sore spots, otherwise I em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"will/em put you out in the doghouse," I warned./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""I'm not poking, Mouse," he assured me gently, drumming his fingers against the door. "But I have been wondering over Stark's general isolation. It is satisfying for me to know the reason behind it."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"If you're thinking you can use it against me…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Not at all, Stark," Loki interrupted. "I am far too preoccupied with my duties as a king and my upcoming nuptials to spare any thought for you. Besides, hurting you would distress my bride-to-be, and I have no intention of upsetting her."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Look, I'm gonna leave you to it. See you tomorrow," Tony sighed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Goodnight, Tony!" I called out./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Night, Kid."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"Loki sighed as Tony walked away and I smiled. "Go to sleep, Loki." I heard rustling as he stood./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Ellie, may I make one request of you for the wedding tomorrow?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Go on," I prompted./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know that women wish to adorn themselves for special occasions; they dye their faces and decorate their hair and so on, and you do look beautiful in your finery. But the woman who traipses around with her wild curls bouncing freely and no make-up on because she has more important considerations than vanity, em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"that/em is the woman I love, the woman I am marrying. And I want Asgard to see you as I do, and envy me my good fortune in securing your hand."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"I giggled at that and Loki laughed softly. "Please do not try to alter your appearance tomorrow, Mouse. A little colour to accentuate your natural beauty will be perfect."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Goodnight, Loki. I love you," I responded gently. I heard Loki backing away./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"And I love you. I shall see you at our wedding… I hope…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Loki." There was a pause. "I will be there. Honestly and truly, I will." Loki huffed another quiet laugh./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Goodnight."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"I was bouncing from foot to foot in front of the giant golden doors anxiously, chewing my lip. My white dress had a tightly-fitted bodice and a flowing white skirt. Silver lace covered my décolletage and circled my neck, and I was wearing a veiled white cloak. My hair was pinned loosely to one side, allowing my tumbledown curls to fall freely over my shoulder, a silver and moonstone tiara crowned my head and pinned my cloak, my eyes were shadowed faintly with an earthy brown, and my lips were a natural pink. "He's in there, right? He em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"is/em waiting for me, isn't he?" I worried./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Good grief, Ellie! Relax! Yes; he's in there waiting for you," Tabby told me firmly, passing me my wedding bouquet of golden roses./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are you ready?" Father asked, offering me his arm. I took a deep, calming breath and nodded, slipping my hand into the crook of his elbow. Tabby nodded and the guards opened the doors as the music started playing. I looked up to the throne where Loki stood, staring at me with a bright smile on his face. My father guided me down the hall in between the gathered crowd, and I kept my eyes trained on Loki, grinning giddily. When we arrived at the top of the steps, my father turned to look at Loki and held out his hand as I handed my bouquet to my sister. Loki nodded in acknowledgement, shaking my father's hand, and my father pressed a kiss against my veiled forehead before tucking my arm into Loki's. I could hear my mother sobbing quietly from the front row. She cried at everything./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""Hello," I whispered to Loki./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Hello," he whispered back as Thor officiated the ceremony./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Today we are gathered to witness the marriage of Ellie Carter, and Loki, King of Asgard, as well as the crowning of the new Queen." I examined Loki from the corners of my eyes, taking in his attire, which seemed to be a combination of Asgardian formalwear and traditional Victorian-era fashions. He wore fitted black leather trousers tucked into his polished boots, but instead of a tunic, Loki wore a gold-embroidered emerald silk waistcoat over a black dress shirt with a black bowtie. The whole look was completed with a green cape pinned at his shoulders, and his hair neatly combed back into silky waves. Loki swallowed, shifting slightly, and I subtly stepped closer to him, laying my free hand against his abdomen. Loki smiled faintly, moving his free hand to hold my wrist against himself. "Today, we unite not only these two people, but two realms. Asgard and Midgard," Thor continued. He looked at us both warmly and solemnly before turning his focus on Loki. "Your vows, Brother."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"Fandral stepped forward with the ring and Loki smiled, taking it from the velvet pillow and turning to face me, breathing deeply. "Ellie Jean Carter. I know I am a difficult man, and I know that I have dragged you to Hel and back on multiple occasions. But you should know that I would not wish to have shared those dark times with any other. You are my strength and my weakness, and I vow here and now to protect you from all the dangers of the outside world, and to strive to make our own the adventure that you long for. I will be your 'partner in crime', as they say on Midgard, and I will always love you. And so, with this ring, I thee wed. Your life is my life, from this moment onward." I smiled, unable to keep myself from giggling as Loki slipped the gold band onto my finger where it fit perfectly with the engagement ring./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Your vows, Ellie," Thor told me softly. Sif stepped forward with the ring and I took it from the pillow with a smile at her, turning back to Loki and swallowing nervously./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal""Loki Laufeyson, King of Asgard…" I took a shaky breath and Loki smiled, squeezing my hand supportively. "I cannot think of a way to explain how I love you, except for saying that if we can go from trying to kill each other upon our first meeting, to promising to spend the rest of our lives together, I don't think much is going to faze us." Loki flashed his teeth in amusement and I giggled, continuing. "I have been a thorn in your side, and I have been your closest ally, and now I am to be your wife. I promise you that none shall ever have a partner more faithful and dedicated than what I will be to you. And so, with this ring, I claim you as my own. My life is your life." I looked into Loki's eyes seriously as I slipped the ring on his finger and murmured, "Don't let me down, Trickster."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Never," Loki promised softly, taking both my hands in his./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Your signatures," Thor requested, holding out the certificate to us. Loki signed his name elegantly, and I signed mine in my carefree scrawl, before passing the feather quill to Heimdall for him to bear witness. He handed the quill to Eric and he signed his name, backing away to stand by my sister again./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Thor raised the certificate before his chest for us to see and smiled. "You are now espoused. Loki, you may kiss the bride." I closed my eyes as Loki carefully lifted my hood and laid it down my back before cupping my cheeks in his hands gently. I opened my eyes to look into his and he smirked at me, winking flirtatiously before bowing his head over mine and pressing his lips against mine, pushing one hand back into my curls and sliding the other down to wrap his arm around my waist, tilting me backwards as I folded my arms around his neck, secure in his hold. People were chanting, em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;""Long live the King! Long live the Queen!"/em and Loki broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine and whispering something in a strange tongue. Green light rippled around us and he captured my lips again as I felt as though we were caught up in our own personal whirlwind, my skin tingling coolly with the not unfamiliar sensation of magic. Loki pulled back from me again, holding me upright, and smiled, stroking my face with his hand./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"My Queen, My Mouse," he murmured. "My One and Only."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"My King, My Princeling, My Partner in Crime," I responded happily./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"Heimdall stepped forward suddenly, staring at Thor seriously. "I am sorry to ruin the moment, but there is a conflict on Midgard, something relating to the Chitauri sceptre, and they are calling for the Avengers." I blinked at Heimdall in shock before flicking my gaze over Thor and staring up at Loki with wide eyes. He met my gaze quickly./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Go and change; I'll meet you at the dome," he informed me simply. I beamed at him./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I love you," I purred, standing on tiptoes to kiss him before crossing over to my sister with a smile, taking the bouquet and throwing it into the crowd, hitching up my skirts and running from the hall as the Avengers all surged into action./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"I changed my clothes and caught a ride with a noblewoman out to the rainbow bridge. When I entered the dome, all eyes turned on me and Loki's jaw dropped slightly. I had discarded my old Shield uniform and now wore a black leather catsuit lined in emerald cotton with gaps at the joints for manoeuvrability, plated with gold armour and covered in sheaths for my multiple guns and ammunitions. I wore leather boots like smaller versions of Loki's, and my clawed gloves were on my hands. I also wore a gold band to keep my hair out of my face decorated with two little curved horns. "If I am to be Queen of Asgard, I thought I'd make an effort to look the part," I explained, shrugging carelessly. After a moment's pause, Loki turned to look at the others./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;""My wife is better than em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"any/em of your partners, and if you disagree, then you are sadly misinformed," he announced plainly. I smiled, rolling my eyes as the others protested half-heartedly, amused, and Heimdall started up the Bifrost./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"I moved to stand in between Loki and Thor when Loki said, "Hold on; tradition," and scooped me up bridal-style in his arms. We all jumped into the Bifrost and arrived at the rebuilt Shield headquarters. Loki carefully deposited me on the earth as Fury exited the building to meet us./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Welcome back," he drawled, casting his eye over all of us and lingering on me and Loki. "Well, I'll admit I didn't see this coming."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It surprised me, too," I laughed./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"So, what's the situation?" Steve demanded./p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Pack your gear," Fury said, turning sharply and leading us inside. "You're going to Sokovia…"/p 


End file.
